This one is a bit creepy

[Nekojin]

I really think that there are some decidedly bent ethics that society preaches about women's special events. Proms, quinceaneras/Sweet Sixteen parties, weddings... all of these are hailed as big, lavish, expensive to-dos that are all about the woman. One of my former co-workers had his daughter's quinceanera coming up, and had already spent $2 grand on it, and was expecting to spend another $5 grand, once all was said and done. He could afford it (barely), but imagine all of the other things that the family could be doing with that money, putting it toward towards things that would have long-term benefits and payoffs, rather than a completely disposable event?

Sheesh!

Edit: I probably wouldn't see quite the same problem if the spending were balanced, but this guy didn't give his sons the same lavish party-throwing that the daughters got. He spoiled his daughters rotten, and chump-changed his sons.

[wolfie]

Apparently, the only thing the groom was allowed to choose about the wedding was his tux and what the groomsmen wore. But he wasn't allowed to pick colors.

Fuck that. She's crazy.

In a situation like that, a smart groom would choose a different bride.

[Jester]

Weddings can be done cheaper, but a good number of American women have been sold on the "this is your big day" spiel.

And I am not speaking in generalities when I say it can be done cheaper. My little sister got married ten years ago on a budget of $1500. I know the budget, because I provided 1/3 of it ($500) so that my sister could invite all the friends she wanted to. She didn't do the DJ thing (they didn't want one), had the ceremony and reception at the same place (a nice restaurant they liked), didn't bother with limos, didn't bother with a huge fancy dress (I believe she got married in a simple red spaghetti strap dress, while he was in a suit, not a tux), and while they did get flowers (lilies or daisies, I can never remember which) and an open bar, those were the only real luxuries.

Myself, having been to over 200 weddings (mostly as a wedding DJ, somewhat as a banquet server, about a dozen as a guest), I do have a few things I want from my eventual wedding. None of them are ridiculous, but they ARE things I want.

1. An outdoor wedding.
2. My female best friend as my "best man." This one is utterly and completely non-negotiable.
3. The bride's hair down, as opposed to an up do.
4. If we have music, a DJ is preferable to me over a band.
5. Some say in the food.

And...that's it. If my future bride wants to do this, that, and the other, I am fine with it....as long as my few desires are taken into consideration. And yes, when I say #2 is non-negotiable, I meant it is non-negotiable. If my bride said I HAD to have one of my male friends as my best man, well, she wouldn't be my bride any more. Neets is slated to be my best man, and that is simply that. Her only request with that is that she gets to wear a dress, and not a tux, and of course I am fine with that.

American women, generally speaking, get far too obsessed and materialistic about these things. My ex-fiance, who was British, had no issue with a small wedding and with some of my suggestions, and when we were shopping for a ring, had no problem with my philosophical opposition to diamond rings, and actually seemed rather happy with the ring I had settled on, which was a simply platinum or silver band with a sapphire, with diamond accents. A lot of American women would have thrown a fit over that one. (A lot of my female American friends had the nerve to tell me that, since we had not yet gotten the ring, it was not really an engagement. Needless to say, I gave them a large and vocal piece of my mind over THAT one!)

However the only other thing I would get really bitchy over is the ring I don't want a diamond I hate them, I would want a saphire they're prettier.

Marry me!

[Andara Bledin]

I do have a few things I want from my eventual wedding. None of them are ridiculous, but they ARE things I want.

1. An outdoor wedding.
2. My female best friend as my "best man." This one is utterly and completely non-negotiable.
3. The bride's hair down, as opposed to an up do.
4. If we have music, a DJ is preferable to me over a band.
5. Some say in the food.

My wedding would have matched most of your list. The only divergence is that my hair had to be up for the costume.

As for the rest, I think the idea of celebrating what is supposed to be a partnership by one person demanding that it be done entirely their way is a little confused as to what a partnership is supposed to be about.

Nekojin and I are going to get married eventually (mostly for the legal benefits because otherwise we don't really care), and we've been crafting the details between ourselves for a couple of years. We're going to have two ceremonies so that his straight-laced relatives can have a traditional style shindig and then we can have our Wonderland-themed event.

^-.-^

[Jester]

I think the idea of celebrating what is supposed to be a partnership by one person demanding that it be done entirely their way is a little confused as to what a partnership is supposed to be about.

Quoted for absolute truth, and something that should be read by every self-obsessed bride everywhere, but especially in the U.S.

We're going to have two ceremonies so that his straight-laced relatives can have a traditional style shindig and then we can have our Wonderland-themed event.

Just remember, it IS YOUR wedding, so if you want to do it Wonderland style, well, that is your choice. And while I understand you may want to have something traditional for the relatives, remember, it is not THEIR wedding, and you are not obligated to meet THEIR needs for YOUR wedding.

[Andara Bledin]

And while I understand you may want to have something traditional for the relatives, remember, it is not THEIR wedding, and you are not obligated to meet THEIR needs for YOUR wedding.

Oh, absolutely. It's just that I know it will make them happy.

Plus, it's a great excuse to have twice the parties!

^-.-^

[Duelist925]

Oh, absolutely. It's just that I know it will make them happy.

Plus, it's a great excuse to have twice the parties!

^-.-^

Which means twice the CAKE.