Screaming children banned...

[Peppergirl]

I agree with the sentiment that the parents who immediately ATTEMPT to quiet the child should be given a little bit of leeway.

Mine are now grown, but my youngest was notorious for kicking up a fuss in public. It sometimes took me a few minutes to cajole him into behaving and/or remove him from the situation. Some people would give dirty looks and make comments the SECOND he started. I understand it's annoying, but a least give the parent a few seconds to take control of the situation. I think most people realize that. However, there's always going to be that one asshole that has no tolerance for noise at all. Those people should stay the hell home.

I'll never forget one situation in Walgreens. We were shopping and Danny started. I gritted my teeth and threatened him with a butt spank if he didn't stop. My reaction time wasn't fast enough for one old lady, who gave me a dirty look and make a shitty remark about brats. I think it had taken me a whopping 10 seconds to admonish him. Way to give me time to parent, bitch.

Sadly, he continued. So I snatched him up, returned the cart to the corral inside (I hadn't yet gotten any items) and took him outside and spanked him on the butt twice. A different lady then yelled at me for spanking my kid. In no way was I beating him, it was two solid whaps on the butt.

I felt like screaming. I just couldn't win in that particular situation. I did go home in tears, which I'm sure happens to most parents from time-to-time.

On the other hand, it drives me insane nowadays to see these parents letting their kids run wild with NO attempt to corral them. This feeling of entitlement that the general public should just kowtow to their kids whims and tolerate bad behavior, because 'they're kids' - UGH. Makes me SOOOO mad.

[Lace Neil Singer]

No one expects total silence. But there is absolutely no reason for kids to scream at the top of their lungs either.

^This. My parents told me and my brothers not to scream whenever we played outside unless we were being murdered or kidnapped, cuz otherwise if it really happened, no-one would come and help us. My friend's parents told her that screaming attracted the gypsies who'd come and get her.

In all seriousness, there is no need for children to be shrieking and running around like loons inside a mall and especially not in a food court. Unless parents control their children, the mall has every right to tell them to get out. As for special needs kids; well, my view on that is that if your special needs or autistic child can't cope with going to a mall, then stay home and shop online til he or she can rather than forcing it on them before they're ready.

It's not like it was back when I was a kid. There are alternatives to going to the shops and you will find them on the internet. Back when I was a kid, screaming like a banshee and running around shops was firmly discouraged. Not just by my parents, but by the parents of all the kids round my neck of the woods due to the fact that there was no alternative available so it was have your kids behave, or take them home.

[smileyeagle1021]

I felt like screaming. I just couldn't win in that particular situation. I did go home in tears, which I'm sure happens to most parents from time-to-time.

On the other hand, it drives me insane nowadays to see these parents letting their kids run wild with NO attempt to corral them. This feeling of entitlement that the general public should just kowtow to their kids whims and tolerate bad behavior, because 'they're kids' - UGH. Makes me SOOOO mad.

I wonder though how many of those parents had things like what happened to you happen one too many times and decided "screw it, if I can't win anyway, I might as well lose in the way that requires the least work"... because just saying "they're kids" to justify bad behavior sure is a lot easier than actually trying to deal with it. Not excusing them mind you, but it is kind of understandable how someone could get to that place other than just being lazy and entitled (though, for the record, I'm pretty sure the majority of parents who do that are just lazy and entitled).

[Seifer]

But if I am going to a family-oriented place, like a mall, I do expect some children to be there and to make noise. It seems weird for a mall of all places to put such a rule in place. And do they plan to throw people out seconds after the screaming begins? Will they give parents even a few minutes to alleviate the situation or just kick them out immediately? If the child is shrieking with joy instead of rage will they eject them?

If I go to a museum, fancy restaurant or other adult-oriented place, I don't expect children to be there, or I expect them to behave. I do expect such a rule there and if there isn't one I expect a staff member to take care of it if I complain.

There are places where there will be children, and places there will not. If you can't tolerate children, don't go to the places where they are. That's why I don't go to the mall.

When the children are screaming so loudly that you can hear them over the chattering of everyone else, then it's FAR too loud. I was at the mall yesterday (on a Saturday, so it was VERY crowded), and just as we were leaving we could hear a child's screams echoing throughout one end of the mall. It kept going on and on, too, so I don't think mommy or daddy gave a shit.

Sorry, but if I can't scream at the top of my lungs in a mall, than neither can someone's child. Quiet them up or take them outside. End of story.

I think it is related. Had a neighbor who spanked one of his kids outside and then had CPS called on him by someone.

The way I see it is this: If the spank is on the bottom (and it's not excessive), it's acceptable discipline. If the parent is beating the shit out of their child (slapping, punching, hitting, etc), then it's child abuse.

[Peppergirl]

I wonder though how many of those parents had things like what happened to you happen one too many times and decided "screw it, if I can't win anyway, I might as well lose in the way that requires the least work"... because just saying "they're kids" to justify bad behavior sure is a lot easier than actually trying to deal with it. Not excusing them mind you, but it is kind of understandable how someone could get to that place other than just being lazy and entitled (though, for the record, I'm pretty sure the majority of parents who do that are just lazy and entitled).

Oh, trust me - I sure as hell can relate to feeling that way. I felt that way a lot. But like you said, if you're not an entitled nitwit, you do what you have to do. In my opinion, if you have a shred of decency or care about the comfort of others at all, you parent your child whether you feel like it or not.

But what happened to me in Walgreens shows the other side of the coin that, even if you're trying to do all the right things, there's always going to be some asshole who judges you and treats you like a jerk.

[Lace Neil Singer]

If a parent is desperately trying to quiet a tantruming toddler, I'll feel sympathy for them and might even say something like, "Poor you," just so they know. However, I feel no sympathy for a "parent" who's too busy yammering away on their mobile to do anything about their screaming hellion who's running around the store bothering other people.

I understand that people don't want to interrupt their shopping in order to either quiet a child or remove them from the mall, but sadly it's just one of those things you sign up for when you decide to reproduce. You're not excempted from the basic book of manners just cuz you happen to have had children. Were it a grown man or woman running around the mall screaming, I bet a lot of these parents would be giving them the stink eye.