Petition to make consent part of sex ed in schools in US

[bara]

I remember going over rape in 7th grade I think as part of sex ed. The teacher did in fact mention that anything other than a solid yes was a no. She also mentioned that if the girl was under the influence of any sort of drug or substance then there was no such thing as a 'yes'.

She also focused on birth control and safe sex. It was a fairly good class all around if memory serves me. There were a lot of red embarrassed faces when certain subject matter would come up such as pulling out or not wanting to wear a condom. I also remember a few of the students sitting in the hall because their parents didnt want them learning that stuff. If I recall, most of them had kids by the 9th grade.

[Gravekeeper]

Being in Canuckistan, there was no abstinence angle whatsoever nor any opt out for parents. My high school had condom machines in both bathrooms. Sex ed was taught in science and biology classes and included everything from consent to cancer screening ( self breast/testicle exams ). My biology teacher in particular would amuse himself by seeing if the guys were paying attention by asking if anyone wanted to volunteer to demonstrate a STE ( Self testicular exam ) then not telling them what it was until they were already standing at the front of the class. ;p

[D_Yeti_Esquire]

Well it's not a bad petition

Sad maybe, but it certainly wasn't covered in my school. I think the first place I learned the actual legal definitions of consent was just a business law course in college of all places.

If you pay ANY attention and have any common sense you know 95% of it. The remaining 5% is gray area where any "yes" is essentially invalid. It made sense, but you don't innately know it growing up. You're either taught it or you pick it up from someone as to why that rule exists.

[Panacea]

The University of Tennessee was going to have "Sex Week". Basically, it was going to be a week containing workshops on having a safe sexual health life. Stuff like that is kind of important in that kind of environment. Naturally, all the uptight conservative congressmen running the state got their panties in a wad and decided to threaten to pull funding from the school if they did it.

I'd like to kick that moron in the nuts.

Sorry, but after barely escaping a "date" rape in college this kind of thing just makes my blood boil. The guy in question wasn't even actually my boyfriend . . . he was a classmate's boyfriend, who couldn't take no for an answer and couldn't understand how I could possibly turn him down.

I know most guys are NOT like that. But enough guys are, and someone needs to tell them it is NOT ok to put women through this.

[PepperElf]

This is why I'm so glad that sex ed down here runs on an "opt out" system. You can sign to say that you don't want your kid to do sex ed, but otherwise it's assumed that you do.

That's what my school ran too. One of my classmates didn't attend the state-run/public school sex-ed class because her parents wanted to teach it themselves.

although these days i don't know if they allow that or not.

i hope not though - i fully believe that parents should have the choice on who teaches about sex to their children, and that it shouldn't be mandatory.

[Jaden]

Am I the only one who feels like I've always known what consent means and that it should be obvious to everybody? I'm not arguing with the basic premise of this thread - if there are legitimately people growing up who don't understand consent (as opposed to just disregarding it), then I guess it needs to be taught to them. But I really don't understand how it is that people don't know what consent means.

[Greenday]

Am I the only one who feels like I've always known what consent means and that it should be obvious to everybody? I'm not arguing with the basic premise of this thread - if there are legitimately people growing up who don't understand consent (as opposed to just disregarding it), then I guess it needs to be taught to them. But I really don't understand how it is that people don't know what consent means.

I just assume that people claiming that they didn't know what consent actually meant are usually just trying to get out of trouble.

[TheHuckster]

Am I the only one who feels like I've always known what consent means and that it should be obvious to everybody? I'm not arguing with the basic premise of this thread - if there are legitimately people growing up who don't understand consent (as opposed to just disregarding it), then I guess it needs to be taught to them. But I really don't understand how it is that people don't know what consent means.

This is just a wild-ass guess, but I think that at least some of these people grew up with spineless parents who would say "no" to a lot of things, but would finally bend over after the kid insists to go contrary to that.

"Don't eat any cookies before dinner... hey! I said no cookies! Get your hand out of the cookie jar, now! I mean it! Stop now! ...*sigh* I give up... fine have cookies if you want. I'm too tired to fight."

After a whole childhood being conditioned with the idea that people start out saying 'no' but then back down after they insist, they might apply it to sex... just replace "cookie" with "sex" and the above sounds about right. I grew up with some friends who seriously did not think sex was a big deal on an emotional level, especially as teenagers, so I could just as easily see how one would believe that if they are in a relationship and they want sex, then why would she refuse? It's no big deal!

Obviously, that theory only applies to the truly ignorant, who seriously don't know what consent is. There is the other group who knows what it is, and who know what they're doing is wrong, but simply don't care. I don't know what, if any, kind of upbringing causes that.

[D_Yeti_Esquire]

I don't know what, if any, kind of upbringing causes that.

Normal male upbringing? Most boys have been around assault, battery, blackmail (if you don't do this, I'll tell), intimidation, conspiracy, and an entire host of other would-be real world crimes if we charged kids the way we charged adults. Even in affluent neighborhoods, the socialization IS about learning how to "make it" in the company of uncontrolled (often hormonal) boys. Boys learn as a part of their socialization to do what they have to do in an environment where consent ISN'T necessary for anything. Then, at the magical age of 18, we expect them to "get" what consent is even though it hasn't really been taught or enforced up until that point. How many boys did something to one of their sleeping buddies? How many watched it happen and laughed?

I honestly don't see these kids as aberrations. I see them as the inevitable result of that style of socialization where those that can't adjust to the idea that after 18 consent IS enforced despite at least 12 years of their life when we taught them nothing of the kind. Most of us adjust. Some of us do not.