Man thrown out of hospital when trying to stay by his gay husbands bedside

[Akasa]

Basically the brother showed up, threw a hissy, and the hospital threw out the husband over the patient's protests. It gets worse from there.

http://americablog.com/2013/04/inter...pital-bed.html

[bara]

I know Ive said it before... But I want off this planet.

[Greenday]

I don't have any problems with what the cops did. They were just doing their job and doing it correctly. Everything she described is pretty basic procedure for arresting someone who is resisting arrest. Nothing was mentioned that the cops actually said they were worried about getting HIV. Just that the one cop didn't want to touch bloody handcuffs.

Generally, when I come into physical contact with someone with open wounds, I'm not touching them without gloves unless it's a life or death situation. It'd be stupid to not wear gloves.

The hospital fucked up big time and if he does have a power of attorney, they should be sued to hell.

[HYHYBT]

I don't understand why they're allowed to have a restraining order keeping him away when the whole thing is their fault to begin with. They had no right to refuse to look at the POA, and no right to demand that he leave; how, then, do they get to punish him legally for not complying with a request they had no business making in the first place?

(ETA now that I've read the link, this article is a bit different than the one on the same incident I read yesterday, which had much less detail but didn't seem to be relying on the daughter so heavily and didn't include the AIDS stuff.)

[D_Yeti_Esquire]

I think there's a lot of missing info here to the point I feel really uncomfortable jumping on a side.

I can say from having a bit of a hospital background, you can certainly get the hospital staff to acknowledge your POA but if you are wildly belligerent and disruptive they'll throw you out just same. They will want you off the floor and away from other resting patients. Gay, straight, bi, asexual it really doesn't matter. Disturbing or making any part of a hospital a zoo will generally result in what happened. I'd be curious if the husband continued to be extremely loud after the brother shut up. As in, did the cops show and only one of them adjusted behavior.

As for how culpable I found the hospital I'd like to know who knew what and when did they know it. As for the nurse, she may know two people call each other husbands but that doesn't necessarily mean the nurse knows that's what they are legally. Generally I can sign off on someone else's treatment if that means they can bill me. You don't need POA for that. POA comes in when someone is incapacitated and is not capable of making medical decisions.

Anyway, I see a lot of reprehensible in this. But I also may see a lot of circumstantial and hospital policies going crossways with a volatile situation. Word to everyone's wise: if you're going to a hospital have the POA at all times on you and shut up when a nurse asks you to. They're only "asking" out of politeness.

[Kheldarson]

Here's a more recent article with an embedded local news clip: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/04/1...-and-harassed/

[smileyeagle1021]

I think there's a lot of missing info here to the point I feel really uncomfortable jumping on a side.

Um, no there is all the information that will ever be needed to chose a side. The man had a power of attorney, begin and end of discussion. The brother should have never shown up in the first place, the hospital should have asked him to leave the moment the POA was brought up, and this should have never escalated beyond that. I don't know the nurse's motivations, nor do I care, she violated a power of attorney and has no business being in the medical (or really any) profession.
If he was acting erratically before the brother showed up and caused problems, then yes, the discussion would be much different and I could see valid reasons for the hospital having him removed. As it is that the hospital gave him every reason to be pissed (and don't even begin to lie and say you wouldn't be seeing red and ready to fly off the handle if you were told you couldn't be with your spouse), this comes down solely on them.

[s_stabeler]

smiley, the brother was there first.

[smileyeagle1021]

smiley, the brother was there first.

mea culpa, I must have read the article wrong.
But it still comes down to one man had a power of attorney, the other did not, and that they asked the person with the POA to leave while allowing the one who did not to stay puts them squarely in the wrong.

[s_stabeler]

Oh, I quite agree, although I am kind of curious why the husband was apparently clinging to the rail. That's not how I'd have responded. ( I'd have tried to explain to the police that I had POA)

[Andara Bledin]

mea culpa, I must have read the article wrong.
But it still comes down to one man had a power of attorney, the other did not, and that they asked the person with the POA to leave while allowing the one who did not to stay puts them squarely in the wrong.

A POA is not a "get out of having to behave" document.

However, I really don't think that was the case in this instance: In fact, based on the laws of the area and the fact that the same nurse had treated the patient with his partner in attendance before, this appears to have been mishandled from just about the beginning.

[crashhelmet]

mea culpa, I must have read the article wrong.
But it still comes down to one man had a power of attorney, the other did not, and that they asked the person with the POA to leave while allowing the one who did not to stay puts them squarely in the wrong.

The link in the OP says they arrived at the same time, but another link i read said that he was there when his husband was admitted and then his husband's brother and sister showed up and demanded he leave. Then another report I read said the brother was there first.

Other reports are saying the hospital issued a statement that they were both kicked out, but it conflicts with their initial report to the police.

Then there's another report that says he was only kicked out because he couldn't or refused to prove power of attorney.

This is turning into a gigantic "He Said, She Said" nightmare.

[Panacea]

smiley, the brother was there first.

But since the husband has POA, it doesn't matter. Even if the brother didn't know it, the hospital did.

Oh, I quite agree, although I am kind of curious why the husband was apparently clinging to the rail. That's not how I'd have responded. ( I'd have tried to explain to the police that I had POA)

It doesn't sound like anyone was listening. And apparently, the husband did try to tell the staff this, but the cops weren't listening; they were taking their direction from the nurse.

I don't blame the cops for wearing gloves, though the reaction about the hand cuffs was over the top. Unfortunately, some people still act this way around gay people. It's not acceptable.

That hospital is going to get hit by a big fat lawsuit . . . and they will lose. Not only did they ignore a valid POA, they ignored federal directives.

However, reading this article was very painful. I was forced to do this once, to a poor man who wasn't in a civil union, didn't have a POA, and whose parents had every legal right to demand the partner be removed.

It was and remains the most shameful thing I've ever done

[Kheldarson]

It was and remains the most shameful thing I've ever done

At least you weren't doing it to be mean, and I'm sure the man understood that.


What bugs me with all of this is, if the daughter's statements are true, how could the brother get the patient committed in the first place for "suicidal threats"? He's not POA, he's not part of the core family or their lives, so what standing did he have?

[s_stabeler]

I'm curious about the article saying the cops "pounded" on his arm. it says the victim's glasses went flying. that's pretty difficult to do, and sounds to me like excessive force. ( why couldn't they try to pry his fingers loose, for instance?)

incidentally, judging by a blog post by the daughter of the guy arrested, the guy in hospital had been put in hospital at the request of the brother in the first pace. ( it looks like the brother alleged the guy in hospital was suicidal. It also seems that's why the guy wasn't at his usual hospital (he goes to one hospital normally, and another for the electroshock therapy. he was sent to the electroshock hopsital this time)) now, normally I don't trust blog posts, but this one makes horrifying sense. Especially when it's been reported that a former hospital employee said the hospital "doesn't discriminate against fags" ( direct quote) um... yeah... not helping your case there