sterilization (of the wanted kind)

[DrT]

Just to let you know; I'm English, not American... and I still can't get my tubes tied. At this rate, I'll be going thru the menopause before I can talk anyone round into doing it. -_-

Oh.
Is there also an issue of lawsuits and stuff there?

If not, then maybe the british docs are all patronizing bastards

[BlaqueKatt]

I may be wrong, but isn't it easier to reverse a vasectomy than having a woman's tubes tied? If so might that be part of the reason vasectomies are so much easier to get?

No vasectomies are no easier to reverse than a tubal ligation-but I know men that have had vasectomies as soon as they turned 18 and the doctor didn't bat an eye.

A woman has a usually mandatory waiting period between signing the consent form and scheduling the surgery, then has to sign another form the day of the surgery-there is no manditory waiting period for vasectomies.

I've had another though about this, and most women I know that changed their minds about wanting more children after having their tubes tied-it was usually because their new husband wanted kids of his own. Maybe we should start telling people it's perfectly ok to adopt and not pass on your DNA, even though it's drilled into most males they have to have their own children(to prove their manhood/virility) and it's not manly to raise someone else's kid.

[Cat]

Thanks for all the replies, on both sides of the coin.

I find it odd that while my bf could have a vasectomy or I could get an abortion, I cannot easily get my tubes tied, and I do understand it from the doc's point of view...unfortunately we are a lawsuit-crazed society. It really is a pity.

(oh, and before we get on tangent whether or not my bf wants kids...he doesn't...I let potential mates know this on the first dates.....cats only...no kids....call me Eleanor Abernathy! )

[Flyndaran]

I and my girlfriend can neither afford nor want children genetically ours or otherwise.
It's offensive how women are treated like children in so many legal ways, eventhough it often benefits them in trials.

[Arcade Man D]

No vasectomies are no easier to reverse than a tubal ligation-but I know men that have had vasectomies as soon as they turned 18 and the doctor didn't bat an eye.

Errrrr.....

Yes, it is easier to reverse a vasectomy than a tubal ligation.

Vasectomy reversals have between a 38 and 86% success rate. (Source)

Tubal Ligation reversals, while possible, require far more complicated surgery than a vasectomy reversal, cost far more. (Source)

[AFPheonix]

For those of you considering tubals, perhaps consider Essure. It's a lot less invasive and about as effective. http://www.essure.com/

[Amethyst Hunter]

Sterilization is hard as hell to get - ask any woman who's tried - but for those who have succeeded, it is SO worth it. (I don't count the idiots who made the decision on a whim and then turned around and sued their docs because they realized they'd fucked up) You will have to fight like hell to get what you want, but there's nothing like that peace of mind once you finally accomplish your goal.

I'm 32, also CF (childfree, for those not in the know) and though I'm celibate by choice, I would prefer to get sterilized someday for my own peace of mind. (And while I'm also single, that problem is easily solved: if I were ever to meet up with someone I'd seriously consider hitching my wagon to, that person would without a doubt have to be as CF as I am, because that's a dealbreaker for me.)

I highly recommend for anyone looking to be sterilized to sit down and make a long list of all the reasons, small and large, why you want it. Use Google if you have to, for statistical back-up. Well-reasoned arguments will help you in advance for the time when your doctor breaks out any of the following chestnuts:

"But what if you change your mind?"
"What if your partner wants kids?"
"What if you already have a/more than one child and they die in a freak accident?"
"You're so young/You're not getting any younger." (A variant on the "you'll change your mind" crap)

And so on. But your list will give you the necessary ammo to prove to Doctor that you've thought long and seriously about sterilization and that you understand it's for the long haul.

Be assertive in asking for a doctor who will do it, or ask for referrals if your present doc refuses. I highly recommend places like Planned Parenthood, which keep lists of sterilization-friendly doctors so odds are they can refer you to one in your area.

Above all, don't get discouraged the first one - or more - times you hear "no." It will probably take time and effort, but like I said, the peace of mind is worth its weight in gold. Good luck.

[Cat]

For those of you considering tubals, perhaps consider Essure. It's a lot less invasive and about as effective. http://www.essure.com/

Thank you much for this link.....def something to think about

[Boozy]

Perhaps one of the reasons that doctors are less likely to perform tubal ligation than vasectomies is because of the differences in the procedures.

Vasectomies are performed in a doctor's office under local anesthetic and the patient is usually in and out in less than an hour. Tubal ligations are performed in a hospital, usually under general anesthetic. Most surgeons will tell you that the most dangerous part of routine surgeries these days is putting someone under general anesthetic.

Recovery times also differ; about 2 days for men, one week for women (YMMV). There's also a recovery time for shaking off general anesthetic. Patients can take up to 8 weeks to feel "normal" again.

Failure rates are also different; 1% for a vasectomy, 2% for tubal ligation.

Now, keep in mind that tubal ligation is much less risky than carrying a child to term and the going through the ensuing labour and delivery. However, tubal ligation is also riskier for most women than taking hormonal birth control and using condoms - and combined, these two methods of birth control have a lower failure rate than tubal ligation alone. Again, your mileage may vary.

I suspect that doctors tend to get caught up in all of these statistical reasons to justify their reluctance. Some of them may not think about the emotional and mental reasons a woman may have in requesting the procedure. Tubal ligation could bring immense peace of mind to many women, lower their stress levels, and make them feel more in control of their bodies and their lives. These things provide very real health benefits and are perhaps overlooked.

Bottom line, in my opinion: Refusing a mentally-sound woman a legal medical procedure is paternalistic. If I were a doctor, I'd make sure the woman understood all the risks and options. If she did, and still wanted to go through with it, then there is no reason to prevent her from doing so.

[Pedersen]

/me checks for other signs of the Apocalypse, since I'm positive that Boozy and I agreeing is one of them

There's only a couple minor words I would change about your statement Boozy, and that's because I'm nitpicky like this sometimes:

Refusing a mentally-sound patient a legal medical procedure is paternalistic. If I were a doctor, I'd make sure the patient understood all the risks and options. If the patient did, and still wanted to go through with it, then there is no reason to prevent the patient from doing so.

Only because I feel that this should apply to both genders.

[BlaqueKatt]

Recovery times also differ; about 2 days for men, one week for women (YMMV).

it's actually a day surgery-I went in a 7am and was home by 9am, wnet to concert at 8pm that night-took two tylenol-doctor said you only need to rest for 12 hours and you'll be fine-it's only 2 quarter inch incisions-I had one stitch and a bandaid.

However, tubal ligation is also riskier for most women than taking hormonal birth control and using condoms

that would depend on age, history of smoking, and many other factors-I actually has several near-psychotic episodes due to hormonal birth control, and I'm deathly allergic to latex.

[Boozy]

it's actually a day surgery-I went in a 7am and was home by 9am, wnet to concert at 8pm that night-took two tylenol-doctor said you only need to rest for 12 hours and you'll be fine-it's only 2 quarter inch incisions-I had one stitch and a bandaid.

I said recovery took about a week. Recovery does not mean hospitalization.

that would depend on age, history of smoking, and many other factors-I actually has several near-psychotic episodes due to hormonal birth control, and I'm deathly allergic to latex.

Which is why I said "your mileage may vary."

I was simply providing some basic statistics that apply to more women than not. Obviously not everyone will have the same experience or medical concerns.

[Evandril]

When I went to get snipped, I had to talk to the doctor for a while, convince him I really did want it done, even though my Wife and me had two kids, and I was over 25. Even then, I wasn't allowed to get it done the same day, I had to come back a week later, to make sure it wasn't a rush decision. *at the time*, my surgery was very easy, purely local anesthetic, and very fast. For a woman, at the time, was full surgery...and ANY time someone goes under, there's a chance of something going wrong.

[Slytovhand]

Ay, but here's the rub, are doctors equally relunctant to do vasectomies?

Using a vast array of data (equalling 1), that's not always true.

My mate wanted his little snip (and not the circumcision, Ped), and the doctor was very reluctant to perform for him. And this is for a person who is 40, never married, no kids, and never wants them (too much still being a kid to want to start looking after them ). He went through a fair bit before finally getting it done, including the consent forms and all.

As for the nosejob analogy - nope! Humans need to learn to deal with their stuff. Of course, there is the opposing attitude of the body is just a hunk of meat - cut it, dice it and slice it any way you want...

[Greenday]

I want to get snipped. I've been thinking about it for almost a year now and not once in the past year have I changed my mind. Yes, I'm 20 years. No, I don't want kids. I don't like kids. The ONLY kids I like are my two little cousins. I love them to death. I have little patience with kids and what little patience I have I use up on my cousins. I have no problem with having little cousins, or eventually being an uncle if my sister has kids. I just don't ever want to have a baby of my own. I don't ever want to deal with that. If I ever REALLY want to have a kid, I can adopt. There are craploads of kids out there who could use a good family and because everyone wants babies because they think they are special for some reason, the older kids get passed up on.

But, being 20 and I'm only turning 21 next March, no doctor would take me seriously. Also, I'd have to do it when my mom wouldn't know, cause she'd kill me. I mentioned it once joking around with her and she freaked out. I'd rather pretend I was shooting blanks then tell her I had surgery. Sigh.