What's with this "everybody's a winner" mentality?

[HEMI6point1]

A buddy of mine were talking about this a few days ago. What is with the mentality of schools nowadays with this "everybody is a winner no one is a loser" crap?

I noticed more and more schools are adopting this trend of being afraid to "mess with a kid's self-esteem," so they come to this mentality so that everyone feels all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

They don't even give trophies anymore at a lot of schools!

Also, for those that don't know in many schools teachers are banned from using red ink to grade papers, and some schools are also banning teachers from grading assignments D's or F's. WTF?

I told my buddy, "Guess what happens when these kids become young adults and go out into the real world? Rude awakening!" Can you say, crash and burn?

I remember a while back on one of those morning talk shows a woman basically said what I was thinking, "If you don't let kids stumble, fail and lose it's actually going to hurt them later on in life once they get out into the real world."

She got a sit ton of negative comments for it, but she wasn't off-base.

[RedRoseSpiral]

From my personal experience, this is not all schools nor the majority. The only time I know of where a teacher was not allowed to give out Ds or Fs was when this one 21 year old (the cut off for going to secondary school in Missouri) was still in school and the principal wanted him out. He asked the guy's teachers that year to pass him at all costs.

I'll admit that I didn't get much red ink on my papers, but that's because few of my papers needed to be corrected and my teachers liked changing it up a bit. I know one used to grade in green and purple.

[Ginger Tea]

The no child left behind thing is over a decade old, no idea how widespread and implemented it is though, I've not seen as much Carling as Americans have, but I do remember a YouTube clip that I think had the phrase "you are the best looser award" or something along those lines.

The colour of the ink has come up before quite recently, I think red was picked as children normally had black or blue biros and red can be spotted a mile away on a black inked page, whereas if the teacher used the same colour it would blend in handwriting styles not withstanding.

If I was forced to never give a bad grade, I probably would be the teacher with 21 valedictorian's as I would be upping the high marks higher and calling C the new F

[HYHYBT]

There ought to be a balance; yes, people need to learn how to deal with failure now and then, but each person needs to have *something* they can succeed in that's considered worthwhile by others.

[bara]

I wasnt aware school was hard in the first place.

[Andara Bledin]

School is hard, but not because games have losers or test answers can be gotten wrong.

We keep trying to bubble-wrap the world for our preshus widdle snowfwakes, and all it does is result in an extreme culture shock when they reach adulthood and find out that life is way harder than they'd been trained to cope with.

My ex's mother did this to him and I still resent her and everyone like her. Until he was 18 she did everything to take care of him. Once he hit 18, she stopped and expected him to automagically know how to do it all himself despite never having taught him a damn thing. >_<

[HEMI6point1]

We keep trying to bubble-wrap the world for our preshus widdle snowfwakes, and all it does is result in an extreme culture shock when they reach adulthood and find out that life is way harder than they'd been trained to cope with.

That's one way to look at it, and I totally agree.

[anakhouri]

This is why, when I play games with my son (and I have always done this, he's still only 3 but we've been playing board games for a year or so), I never let him win. If he wins, good. But I don't let him win, and I don't pat him on the head or give him sympathy when he loses. I just tell him sometimes you win and sometimes you don't. And because of this, he is not a sore loser, and he doesn't feel entitled to win.

[s_stabeler]

I had a similar problem with my little sister- if I EVER won, I got told off. And my parents wonder why I started to refuse to play with her...

[kibbles]

I could never understand what was so bad about teaching kids how to be gracious winners and how not to be sore losers.

[HYHYBT]

This is why, when I play games with my son (and I have always done this, he's still only 3 but we've been playing board games for a year or so), I never let him win. If he wins, good. But I don't let him win, and I don't pat him on the head or give him sympathy when he loses. I just tell him sometimes you win and sometimes you don't. And because of this, he is not a sore loser, and he doesn't feel entitled to win.

I suspect, though, that you also at least some of the time choose games where he sometimes will win.

[Ginger Tea]

I took it to read that the child was winning on their own merits and not the parent (anakhouri) nerfing their game play.

and because no one has said it already, there is only one reason to throw a game

"Let the Wookie win"

[anakhouri]

I suspect, though, that you also at least some of the time choose games where he sometimes will win.

Well sure, he's 3. We're not playing Magic or anything. Most toddler games involve a high level of chance, but most have some skill mixed in too- he's very good at figuring out which piece to move in Trouble to knock my guy off the track, and that's about all the skill you can ask for from a 3-year-old. If he misses his chance though, I'm not going to remind him he can move this particular piece four spaces and send me back to Start.

Kids do need encouragement, but you shouldn't be afraid to let them know they won't always win, and as they get older they need to know it takes work to win.

[fireheart17]

This might be a culture thing.

They don't even give trophies anymore at a lot of schools!

A number of schools and clubs here still give out trophies, but usually they are different categories and/or participation trophies.
A lot of primary schools also have various awards they give out in front of the school for good citizenship or some variation thereof.

Also, for those that don't know in many schools teachers are banned from using red ink to grade papers, and some schools are also banning teachers from grading assignments D's or F's. WTF?

Personally I never used red ink, but that was more because I used felt-tip fineline markers, which show up from a mile away regardless of what colour you use. So I could use blue, green, purple, orange, etc.
The kids were also encouraged to mark their own work and used everything from light blue to pink to green. Still resulted in wrong/right answers
Re the "D"/"F" thing, schools down here use A-E. An E is basically an "F"
I've met teachers that are not afraid of doing this either.

[Amanita]

Here at my local Sci-fi convention, somebody suggested that everyone taking part in the costume contest should get a certificate for something, even if it's "best use of a bedsheet" or the like. Needless to say, myself and others were against that. The last two years I've gotten honorable mentions, and those were well and truly earned. The first year, they gave me an honorable mention in the Master's category for my costume- it was an original creation that had a helluva lot of work put into it. The performance I did on stage helped too- a sword dance set to the chorus of Jay-Z's "Run this town". Last year, I did a dual wielding saber kata, which earned me "most impressive weapon display". Another lady got an honorable mention for the hundreds of hours she spent embroidering her dress, and so on.

The point is- even those of us who got honorable mentions earned them for genuine effort and skill. Just giving them out to every single person who entered, even if they just threw their costume together in five minutes with no thought or effort at all would pretty well render the earned rewards meaningless. Thanks, but I'd rather my award actually mean something, as opposed to having this:
http://ladyamanita.deviantart.com/ar...tled-377944244
(A work in progress- I hand painted the designs on in metallic fabric paint, and also applied each and every one of the rhinestones to the trim, and I've got lots more to do on this costume, as well has having some other parts which aren't in this picture, like the cloak, necklace, and skirt)

getting exactly the same award as somebody who just wore underwear with cat ears and tail, and said "I guess I'm a kitty in panties" (that was a lazy cosplay example somebody spotted at phoenix comic-con)