Twist on rape

[Andara Bledin]

I certainly do not; to me it's the same as engaging in homosexual behavior and that is not something I have any interest in.

I have nothing to add or rebut, but the way this statement is made feels very... squicked, somehow. It gives me an "ew, homosexual" vibe, which I suspect was not the intent.

[Ginger Tea]

I am to assume Panacea might be on about post surgery where you would not know unless you asked her parents about why they never have any photos of their daughter yet a tonne of the never to be found son, or they out right told you.

If I met a woman and got on well and was about to get between the sheets and found out the hard way she was a he with breastforms and was a gay man looking for sex with men who liked having sex with cross dressers and a very convincing one, then no.

If it was the same 'man' and the breasts were implants and she was undergoing HRT and other procedures to become a woman, then maybe I might over come the initial shock, or at least give her another date to talk things over and see if I can get past my initial reaction.

Edit:
The third option
Same convincing cross dresser who would be male with a feminine face out of the clothing, but was the same as the 2nd but prior to the onset of hormone based breasts or 'enhancements', I would probably still say no even if he was a heterosexual woman, it's just the lack of breasts that would deal break a relationship at that point, although depending on how well we got on I might still be in contact with her.
I guess it all depends on her breast size as to whether I see her as a woman or a man dressing as one.

If I had not seen Buck Angel in an issue of bizzare (as one of the members of a modern day freak show) I would not have known that he was still sporting a vagina.
The magazine did not show pictures other than a blurry shot of the group on stage and he was wearing underwear at the time and I was a bit puzzled as to what his 'freak' was considering you got a man who superglued himself to anything a henry fucking midget and someone who skewered his penis before breakfast.

He's committed to the change (least as far as I know he has) but is capitalizing on his transition via porn and this circus, if/when he has a penis his alternate careers are somewhat voided (like a bearded lady who has shaved), he can still do porn, but now it's not as niche (not watched any of his as F2M or naked men in general don't do it for me, regardless of if he's with a man or a woman).

The woman in the OP we have little to go on if this is just 'dress up' or what, why she had a girly picture on her male Facebook profile I have no idea, wouldn't either a tonne of boy shots or that one on a male profile ring alarm bells in the other camp?

[Hyena Dandy]

think it's OK for a transgender person to tell a potential partner they are their mental gender,

Gender is purely mental. Sex is purely physical. But yes, you really need to tell someone before sex occurs, especially if you intend to stick things in people that they do not expect to have stuck in them.

All this, of course, assumes the person genuinely is Trans*. They may just be a lesbian who's into straight girls and strap-ons. So if that's the case, then that's even worse.

I'll believe you're whatever you are. If the guy has breasts and a feminine shape, I might be turned off by that. My general rule is, if I can't tell, then I'll have sex with them. I have no issues with ladyparts, I'm just mostly attracted to the gender. Hence why I can do most non-human female things, but I'd have issues with a transwoman.

[Ginger Tea]

All this, of course, assumes the person genuinely is Trans*. They may just be a lesbian who's into straight girls and strap-ons. So if that's the case, then that's even worse.

That right there is deceitful, and partly why this thread is here, we have no concrete evidence as to her gender identity (does she even know?).
I am not sure if there are any straight women in the kink realms that see strap on sex with a cross dressing girl to be anything but. All you are doing is changing the outwards appearance of someone for fantasy role-play and if your partner has to be straight and not in the least bi, good luck finding a willing partner, that then gets us into the realms of deceit.

But the same scenario where the man is a pre op transsexual, it's not an issue of deceit, it's about trust and being upfront about it and seeing if she is cool about having sex with a man who just happens to lack a penis.
The world is changing where sexual topics are concerned, but this case can do nothing but harm future pre op relationships, but then again, maybe if they were more closer to 20 instead of just turned legal age, both might be more attuned to what they want in a partner and the younger one might see her for the man she claimed to be.