The "thigh gap" trend

[HYHYBT]

What sort of help were you looking for, and why is a bunch of posts agreeing with you a bad thing?

[the_std]

What sort of help were you looking for, and why is a bunch of posts agreeing with you a bad thing?

First of all, I wasn't looking for help. The topic came up, I posted my feelings. Probably divulged more personal information than was right, and that's probably why I'm feeling a little stung by it now.

Second of all, not all the posts were "agreeing with me". I said I desired the gap, even though I knew it was unhealthy and unrealistic. I said that specifically. And then some of the posts that were in direct response, most notably BK's, went on to say what I had already said and then show me more reasons why it's unhealthy, as though I was consciously choosing to feel ashamed of the fact that I have no thigh gap. This is very obviously not the case - why would I want something I know I can never achieve, and then proceed to make myself feel terrible because I can't have it? That's not a conscious decision. Telling me it's unhealthy does precisely nothing. It's like telling a depressed person to get over it, because life is a happy thing. It doesn't work that way.

You know who else doesn't have one when standing with her feet together? [snip]Kate Moss the person who started the "size zero trend."

but don't take my word for it-how about a professor of anatomy (bottom of article)

[siead_lietrathua]

@the_Std
i did not respond directly to your posts, but i still want to apologize if anything i said offended you. i was ribbing on the trend itself, and not you as an individual.
that being said, i don't think anyone was coming at it with some "get over it" intention. they seemed to be discussing how bone structure and other factors effect the person's ability to have a gap, and about how the trend itself is unhealthy. your post may have changed the topic in that direction, but i don't think anyone had an intent to harm you.

to use your depression analogy, it's less telling the depressed person to "get over it" and more using someone's confession of depression to talk about the things that can effect depression, like brain chemistry etc.

[mathnerd]

I think I might understand, the std. I also don't think that I and the other people who responded intended to marginalize your feelings. Coming to like one's own body, especially with the media bombardment of super skinny, photoshopped models is no small task. We are constantly forced to compare our own bodies to pictures of women who don't even look like their own pictures in real life. We are presented an unattainable ideal and made to feel somehow less beautiful if we can't live up to that ideal. Then we feel bad about ourselves, and no matter how much logic is presented, we just can't help but feeling that there must be some way we can attain that ideal. It's an emotion, and emotions, by definition, have no basis in logic. Emotions are also neither right nor wrong. They just are. I think the other people that posted were trying to make you feel better about yourself by pointing out how unattainable certain features are to the vast majority of the population. Unfortunately, that's logic, and logic doesn't always work in these situations.

I do feel your pain. As I said earlier, I grew up with Twiggy type sisters while I inherited a linebacker's body. It took years for me to even consider the idea that I might be attractive. I'll be 38 in a month, and I still have a terrible body image most of the time. This is changing, but pretty tough most of the time. I fight feeling ashamed of my body every day. A few weeks ago I posted a couple pictures on CS. This was a HUGE accomplishment for me. Even six months ago I'd have never been able to post those pictures. Hell, I'd have had a hard time posting any pictures, let alone pictures that showed my middrift and boobs. Sure, my body isn't perfect. But the internet didn't crash when I posted those pictures and nobody ran screaming when I walked around the streets of Key West topless except for a couple stickers on my nipples (and those pictures won't be posted).

Your own struggles with body image are unique to you. What will help you accept yourself as you are? I don't know. I do know that logic won't appeal to that deep seated emotion. In the meantime, take the previous comments on this thread for what they are: a reaction against the media for creating a situation where people like you and me even have to struggle with this issue.

[Gravekeeper]

I don`t think I responded directly, but I likewise apologize if anything I said upset you. Certainly not my intention.

[crashhelmet]

Please forgive me for the necro-bump, but this screen cap had me laughing like an idiot.

[XCashier]

That model is described as "plus size"?! What is she, a size fourteen? It's a sick world we live in when a size fourteen is considered plus size.

And people are saying she's fat?! Geez, I wish I were only that "fat"!!!

The trends with women's bodies are just plain ridiculous. What next, will we go back to the days of foot binding and tight-laced corsets?!

[crashhelmet]

And people are saying she's fat?! Geez, I wish I were only that "fat"!!!

The trends with women's bodies are just plain ridiculous. What next, will we go back to the days of foot binding and tight-laced corsets?!

Corsets are already becoming trendy again. It might not be long before they're mainstream again.

[fireheart17]

And people are saying she's fat?! Geez, I wish I were only that "fat"!!!

The trends with women's bodies are just plain ridiculous. What next, will we go back to the days of foot binding and tight-laced corsets?!

Foot-binding was strictly a chinese custom and with the goal of having tiny pointed feet. Given the current trend of having feet be any size (and preferably normal), I doubt that'll happen.

[Titi]

the only way to get it without having a splayed pelvis is malnutrition, as thighs are more muscle than fat.

Or be Knock-Kneed (your knees point in rather than straight) No matter what size I have been I have always had a thigh gap standing up because of it. I was teased in school because people who had the gap were rumored to have had sex. I was 11, had not even had my period but I had to have had sex because I had a gap in my thighs.

[patiokitty]

I know that I wouldn't have a thigh gap if I tried. Even when I was anorexic and tipped the scales at maybe 80lbs at 5'6" tall I did not have that gap. While I can see why some women would want to achieve that I can also clearly call it unobtainable by a majority of the female population out there. I get it - fashion and the current beauty ideal push stuff like this as being what perfection is, and that some women really want it. I say fill your boots if that's what you want to do, but don't complain if you can't get it no matter how hard you try or if you end up sick because you've tossed your health out the door in order to achieve what you feel you want. And, don't get pissed off if people don't support your attempt to achieve it.

My personal opinion of the 'holy thigh gap' is that it looks unnatural, even on those naturally skinny toothpick people who can't help but have it. I always want to take them and feed them hamburgers, cake, and anything else to help fatten them up...including my naturally toothpick thin son! Yes, he's got the thigh gap thing going on too but it's because of how he is built and his metabolism makes it damn hard for him to really put on much weight. Even at my skinniest I would never have that gap...nor would I want it.

[Hyena Dandy]

That model is described as "plus size"?! What is she, a size fourteen? It's a sick world we live in when a size fourteen is considered plus size.

Please excuse the fact that my c0mputer keyb0ard n0 l0nger has an 0 in this reply. I'm w0rking 0n it. :P

The thing is, I t0tally sympathize with the c0mplaint that 0ur s0cietsy f0rces an unreas0nable standard 0f beauty 0n pe0ple. But I've seen similar c0mplaints in a picture (I think it was in V0gue?) 0f R0byn g0ing ar0und.

R0byn Lawley is a plus sized m0del, but n0t because she is plus sized in the 'h0riz0ntal' sense. She is 6'2. And in w0men's fashi0n, a plus size is like a men's "Big and Tall" size. She's plus sized due t0 unexpected height, n0t width.

[sophie]

I wear a size 00 at almost 5'7, you could put me in a concentration camp for a year and i wouldn't have the gap, it's determined by skeletal structure. Also long as someone is healthy for their height and frame size, there shouldn't be an issue. Everyone always forgets about a persons natural frame when it comes to weight debates if the size of your hips with no fat or muscle would be ~ a size 12 then no matter how much you diet you couldnt be a size 0, and if you are like me very small framed a size 12 would be unhealthy because of the body fat percentage to get to that size.

[fireheart17]

R0byn Lawley is a plus sized m0del, but n0t because she is plus sized in the 'h0riz0ntal' sense. She is 6'2. And in w0men's fashi0n, a plus size is like a men's "Big and Tall" size. She's plus sized due t0 unexpected height, n0t width.

I think she's also a Size 14-16 in Aussie sizes, which is about an 10-12 in American sizing. Size 14 in American sizing is about a women's 18 over here. (as it stands, I fall somewhere between a women's 16/18 on the "Regular" scale and a 14 if the clothes are marketed as "Plus size". A few department stores over here will "Cross-department" their womens stuff, so the "regular" womens department will go up to 18 while the plus size might start from as low as 14, but most go from 16)