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Worst. Advice. Ever. (on how to handle bullying)

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  • #1

    Worst. Advice. Ever. (on how to handle bullying)

    link

    A week old, but infuriating none the less. A Nebraska school sent home a flyer on how to deal with bullying. Instead of making any effort to correct the bullies, they make the bullies out to be the victims while putting the responsibility on the real victims to not get bullied. "Do not attack", "Do not verbally defend yourself", "Don't be a sore loser", and "Learn to laugh at yourself" were some of the wonder pearls of wisdom offered by these geniuses. The most infuriating to me is the second tip.

    "Treat the person who is bullying you as if they are trying to help you."

    WTF? How...

    School made some half assed apology a day later.
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  • #2
    I want to slap the person who wrote that with a pamphlet, while stating as I do so, "I'm just trying to help you out".

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    • #3
      I absolutely love #7: don't tell on bullies. OK, so we're not even pretending to care anymore?

      Honestly, if I was a parent? that would prompt me to start looking for a new school for my kids. I would suggest firing whoever came up with this bullshit, but I have a feeling that it goes deeper than that. Personally, I'd recommended whoever is responsible for regulating schools goes over this one with a fine-toothed comb- with a view to replacing the entire staff if this is representative of their attitude.

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      • #4
        I love how the pamphlet is so sure that you're just one or two interactions from being friends with the bully. Like, if you treat a horribly abusive person as your bff and aren't confrontational at all, they'll suddenly be all nice and amicable to you.
        "So, my little Zillians... Have your fun, as long as I let you have fun... but don't forget who is the boss!"
        We are contented, because he says we are
        He really meant it when he says we've come so far

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        • #5
          Originally posted by MrsEclipse View Post
          I love how the pamphlet is so sure that you're just one or two interactions from being friends with the bully. Like, if you treat a horribly abusive person as your bff and aren't confrontational at all, they'll suddenly be all nice and amicable to you.
          What I want to know is in what universe does that crap happen???

          Frankly, that "pamphlet" reads like what we were told in school back in the late 70's/early 80's.


          Whenever I ran into an issue with an asshole classmate (and there were a few) I went straight to the principal's office with it.

          Did I care whether or not he (or she) wanted to know about it? Fuck NO. What I cared about was MY SAFETY, which they were responsible for while I was on campus.

          And believe me, they learned PDQ that if they didn't handle the situation appropriately, my Mom would be up their ass before they knew what hit them!

          I'm so glad I got out escaped high school when I did. I'd hate the thoughts of having to visit my Mom in prison b/c she was pissed off by the wrong teacher/principal/administrator and went postal!
          If life hands you lemons . . . find someone whose life is handing them vodka . . . and have a party - Ron "Tater Salad" White

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          • #6
            I liked the last line of the first link, but don't think they went far enough.

            The 1950's called, not the 1970's, for their flyer back. I grew up in the 1970's and was bullied; no one ever told me the bullies were trying to help me, although they did accuse me of being a drama llama.

            Yeah, drama. That's why I'm bruised from head to toe and can't stand without assistance or remember anything about what the fuck happened.
            Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

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            • #7
              To me the worst parts is "If we defend we lose"

              If I had a child in that school I would storm the office demanding someone´s job, the idea of someone like that keeping a job with responsibility over a child of mine would be infuriating

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              • #8
                I see the schools are just as stupid as when I was younger. I still remember the bullshit they said about bullies:

                "Just ignore them. They'll go away / stop doing it." No they won't. They'll keep doing it.

                "Just walk away." Sure, it's not like they'll follow you, right?

                Fucking idiots!
                --- I want the republicans out of my bedroom, the democrats out of my wallet, and both out of my first and second amendment rights. Whether you are part of the anal-retentive overly politically-correct left, or the bible-thumping bellowing right, get out of the thought control business --- Alan Nathan

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                • #9
                  ...and schools wonder why this shit still goes on? Sorry, but fuck that.

                  I had to deal with assholes in school, but not so many bullies. I guess some of it was because who my friends were, but possibly because my dad was a bit unorthodox in handing things like that.

                  How? I remember one time that my brother and a friend got jumped while playing football down at the elementary school. They were roughed up and had their ball stolen by a group of assholes. Nothing really happened, until we were coming home one night. As we're driving down the street, my brother starts screaming "that's the guy who attacked me." Dad yanked the handbrake, did a quick U turn (ever see an '87 Tempo smoke the tires?), pass them, pulled another quick U-turn...before laying rubber, and nailing the brakes just ahead of the guys. He got out of the car, got in the biggest one's face, and laid into him. Basically, if the guy and his buddies messed with his kids again, he'd take him out. As he said that last bit, the guy's friends took a couple of steps back. Never had a problem with them again after that

                  As for my friends well, it always helps to be friends with the right people. I became the target of bullying while in high school. Didn't last long though. It went on a bit, then suddenly stopped. It seems that a friend of mine--who happened to be on the football team--put a stop to it. My friend is about 6'6" built like a tank...but one of the nicest guys around. We became friends because his younger sister was in my class. From what I understand, he picked the asshole up, and said "leave Protege alone, or else." I certainly didn't ask him to do it, but it was nice to know that someone had my back.

                  One thing to remember about bullies--sooner or later, they get what's coming. The first guy, got the shit beaten out of him. He spray-painted the N-word on a local black family's driveway...and got caught. He was a mess by the time the cops came. Second guy got beat up, for talking smack outside a local bar.

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                  • #10
                    My guess is that whoever wrote that "advice" was a bully in school, and wanted to make things easier for the next generation of bullies.

                    Originally posted by protege View Post
                    Second guy got beat up, for talking smack outside a local bar.
                    That's why people need to avoid the "hard drugs" - if he'd been talking reefer outside the bar, nobody would have made the effort to beat him up.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by wolfie View Post
                      My guess is that whoever wrote that "advice" was a bully in school
                      I don´t know, the whole "let´s be friends angle' makes me feel it is more of "kids should all be friends and not bother us adults at all' kind of person. the kind of "educator" to whom the problem is solved not when it isn´t happening any more, but when the kids stop bothering him/her with it.

                      I think a bully would work the angle of "stop being different" more

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by SkullKing View Post
                        I don´t know, the whole "let´s be friends angle' makes me feel it is more of "kids should all be friends and not bother us adults at all' kind of person. the kind of "educator" to whom the problem is solved not when it isn´t happening any more, but when the kids stop bothering him/her with it.

                        I think a bully would work the angle of "stop being different" more
                        Yeah. Some teachers seem to think that bullies can become your best friend. IMO, that's a pretty rare occurence, not the norm. A more realistic outcome would be coexisting without conflict (and maybe putting up with each other when the time calls for it). Of course, a lot of that has to be on the bully...

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by MadMike View Post
                          I see the schools are just as stupid as when I was younger. I still remember the bullshit they said about bullies:

                          "Just ignore them. They'll go away / stop doing it." No they won't. They'll keep doing it.

                          "Just walk away." Sure, it's not like they'll follow you, right?

                          Fucking idiots!
                          Lol. That's what they said at my school, too.

                          In the end, I found it easier to take my dad's advice of "If someone hits you, then hit them back twice as hard."
                          "Oh wow, I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are."

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