Skinny-shaming.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

I'm going to start this with yes, I have been "skinny shamed." When I was in high school, everyone (including my doctor) thought I had some kind of easting disorder (when I didn't).

I was considered a "bad influence" on people around me because of it, and even ended up getting kicked out of a friend's house at 2 AM because of it as well. (Luckily her father came home at that time and put down some serious law with his wife.)

So I see this: Things not to say to a Skinny Woman, and while some of the comments in the list seem a bit weak, it's the comments that have immediately cropped up on the article itself, that show that yes, Skinny Shaming actually exists.

"Bah!" They say. "I'm fat and you guys are like rich whiney bitches complaining about not having enough money. You have it so good to eat anything you want and not have to WORK to maintain that figure."

Yeah... thanks?

It's totally okay for people to insult us because we're thin, but not okay for people to insult you because you're fat?

It's completely FINE for someone to snark at us, "EAT A HAMBURGER" but no one is allowed to say to you "Don't eat that doughnut!"

I've heard "Real women have curves" so many times it makes me want to punch my monitor.

Thanks? Now I'm not a real woman because I'm slender? But that's TOTALLY okay to say, because thin girls have it SO EASY.

[kamn]

As a male forever-skinny person, I somewhat feel you. Though some of the comments make me laugh (how does one look too healthy?), the majority of these should be common knowledge/manners.
I will agree on #19, because me and my brother, experience cold far easier. We break out the winter coats when it's 10C, when everyone else is in long sleeves.

But if one can't say to someone that he or she is fat, then they shouldn't have any less moral right to say to someone that they're skinny. As you said, the reasons are different and more importantly, usually private...

[AmbrosiaWriter]

The list has some of the weaker insults that I've heard or seen around, so it does come across kind of silly. I've heard some meaner ones.

"Ugh, you're all bones gross."
"You must be anorexic." (Or any number of comments implying that a thin person much have some kind of mental disorder.)
Or the aforementioned, "REAL women have curves."

My favorite that has been said to me personally, "You have a boyfriend? Ugh I feel sorry for him." Which later on clarified because I must suck being with in bed because I've got no "curves."

[TheHuckster]

My wife has curves, and I find her sexy because of it, but sometimes she says things about skinny girls that just offend me, and it seems to be out of jealousy. I also balk at the "real women have curves" because it is just as demeaning to women as "real women have boobs" or "real women have flawless skin" or "real women stay at home."

In my book, it's fine to look at a skinny girl and like her for her attributes, as much as it is to look at a curvy or full-figured girl and do the same. Attractiveness isn't about following a predefined set of rules that you put up against a single standard. There is no single standard. People will find Beyonce attractive for different reasons than they might find someone like Debra Messing attractive.

I seem to hear this path of logic that basically states: "Curves are attractive. [Person] doesn't have curves. Therefore [Person] is not attractive."

It's as flawed logic as "Thin is attractive. [Person] isn't thin. Therefore, [Person] isn't attractive."

[Teysa]

Skinny shaming is no more acceptable than fat shaming. This is coming from someone who is more on the 'fluffy' side of the spectrum. We all have our own struggles. There's no point in making someone feel bad just because they're struggling in a different area.

[siead_lietrathua]

i fully admit i've made skinny-shaming comments, in retaliation to fat jokes. some one calls me a cow, i'mma call them a skeleton. otherwise, i dun give a shit what they look like.

that being said, i think there's a difference between weight-shaming and concern. like, yelling at someone to eat a sandwich or lay off the cake is douchy. but if you're legit concerned about someone and vocalize it, you shouldn't be slapped with a bigot label.

[D_Yeti_Esquire]

Thing is, it has the same dynamic as a lot of other issues where one attribute of a person is considered easier/advantageous. It's never OK to be an ass but it tends to be more socially acceptable to do it in the opposite direction of what appears to be the advantageous position. I think that mainly comes from the idea that certain people are more entitled to feel anger because of what privileges they do or do not have. Any person doing it from a position of power is a total ass because they have no right to be angry about the anger directed towards them because they have the advantage. Somehow it's supposed to offset. I think that's bullocks because it requires the privileged to be insensitive pricks that ignore everything which is sort of the opposite of what you want.

I think people would do well to call out to call out retaliatory ass-hattery. But unless that happens, a lot of people will be expected to put up with passive-aggressiveness. And I doubt it will happen because "body positivity" articles are often aimed a very specific audience that is not skinny. And there's a lot of angry click-bait to be mined there. Just like Louie highlighted in his show recently, there are very legitimate reasons for the overweight to be extremely angry about how society treats them.

[anakhouri]

I never mention anyone's weight. Unless you are my BFF and we are having a conversation specifically about our respective weights (as BFFs sometimes do), I will never ask about it, or make any sort of comment about it. How much YOU weigh does not affect ME in any way, so why would I mention it?

I actually never comment on anyone's physical attributes, unless asked, "Do you like my hair this length?" etc or to give a compliment, "You have lovely eyes, I must say."

[siead_lietrathua]

How much YOU weigh does not affect ME in any way, so why would I mention it?

sometimes you have to, for either degree. if you have someone who is drastically losing weight, or gaining weight, over a short period of time it may be a sign of illness. and i'm not talking overeating or anorexia. it could also be other illnesses, like cancer or thyroid issues. talking to them about your concerns could be something that encourages them to see a doctor if nothing else.
there are legit times to mention weight to someone, especially when it's a friend.
there just aren't legit times to be a douche about it.

[anakhouri]

Well sure, if you're concerned about someone's health whom you love and whom you know really well. But I thought we were just talking about random people/acquaintances who want to bring it up for some reason. Even if I noticed an acquaintance's weight fluctuating I wouldn't bring it up, as I'd assume they'd noticed and were taking care of any health issues.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

sometimes you have to, for either degree.
there are legit times to mention weight to someone, especially when it's a friend.
there just aren't legit times to be a douche about it.

Oh right of course.

"Listen, Sue. I'm a bit worried. You seem to have lost a lot of weight really fast/seem to be holding onto weight, is everything okay?"

Is completely different than;

"Geez Sue you're a freaking skeleton. Eat a hamburger or something and don't puke it up after!" (I've had this line said to me, I nearly punched the guy in the nuts.)

I agree there are times and ways to be able to discuss someone else's weight if you are truly concerned about them.

It just frustrated me that the commenters on the article were acting as if being thin is all stars and rainbows and no one ever judges or insults us because we don't have a lot of meat on our bones.

[gremcint]

coming from the other side of the spectrum in general I'm just sick of talking about my weight, over and over again people seem to think it's the most interesting thing about me. I've had to outright ban my family from talking about it at all to the point of having a screaming argument over it because there was a period of a few months where my mom would not leave me alone about excersing or my weight and I reached my limit and finally told her to fuck off.

[Greenday]

I wish people would stop shaming all together. If something's seriously wrong, go ahead and say something. Don't harass people over it. I don't see why people treat others differently just because of their race/gender/sexual orientation/size/age/religion/nationality/etc. etc. Could you guys imagine if the people who spend all their time hating others and acting on that hate spent their time instead making the world a better place? World peace, ending world hunger, stopping the spread of diseases, cleaner/more efficient energy. Humanity would be so much more advanced if we could stop dealing with this bullshit and actually work towards a better Earth.

[BlaqueKatt]

I'll just leave this here

The Marilyn meme

bodies are just bodies. They have no intrinsic worth, no moral value, other than what we assign them.

The line from the comments is actually golden

"Good heavens, man. How on earth should I know whether she's beautiful? I only know what she looks like."

My current partner fell in love with me before he had ever seen me. I was words on a screen.

[Gravekeeper]

My ex was skinny shamed by her family ( and I was blamed for it ). She was slender to begin with being a short asian girl but after we moved in together she started eating my cooking. As opposed to fast food every day for lunch. So she ultimately lost 5lbs over like 5 months.

Naturally this meant I was killing her. -.-