"Yes, your friend may be a rapist!" - really?

[Kagato]

The thing that REALLY gets up my nose about this entire debate in general is that there is malicious females out there that are actively going out of their way to take advantage of the fact that females are typically sympathised with and believed more strongly than the male gender to potentially get innocent males arrested/charged.

Case in point:

A friend of mine a couple of years back decided to do a good deed when he saw a female motorcyclist apparently broken down on the side of the road and offered to give her a ride to the nearest mechanics.

Literally 30 seconds after the car started moving, she said point blank "Drive to the nearest ATM and give me $1000 or I will claim you raped me."

Calling her bluff, he drove her to the nearest police station, frog-marched her in front of the police officers and said "This lady says she wishes to claim I raped her. Can you please organise a medical examination and once it has been proven I have done no such thing, I wish to file charges for extortion and fraud."

She dropped her claims faster than a hot brick.

Don't get me wrong, rape is a horrible crime, I have friends that are victims of it and if I ever came face to face with their attackers, I would feel a very strong desire to let their face have an intimate encounter with my fist, but that being said, I also refuse to tar every member of a group with the same brush on a rather flimsy "What if" basis. Also with regards to the comment some way back claiming that by refusing to dissociate with a person, they are taking sides, the same could be said if they DO choose to dissociate with them, so it is a lose-lose situation. Either your friend becomes a pariah or you become accused of being pro-rape.

[Canarr]

Some interesting statistics on the topic on this site:

http://owningyourshit.blogspot.de/search/label/rape

Any comments or opinions on this? Personally, I liked this part:

I used to think it was only the system that was broken--a system that has effectively ignored, dismissed and trampled the rights of men in favor of women's interests. But now, after reading blog after blog and comment after comment from women who've succumbed to rape hysteria, patriarchal oppression hysteria, domestic terrorist hysteria...I'm finding that more and more, it is women who are broken. They've been broken by a system that panders to their interests in the most negative way possible--by sacrificing men and masculinity on the altar of "equality".

I'm not afraid of men, and I never have been, not even after my assault. And I suppose there may come a time when I end up getting seriously burned by that lack of fear. But the possibility of being burned *isn't worth the price of living my whole life in fear*, of rape, of men, of sex, of relationships, of meeting people, of experiencing intimacy, of *living*.

The women who fear Schrodinger's Rapist are living in a cage made of their own prejudice and fear. That is THEIR problem, not men's, and it's up to THEM to climb the fuck out of there, not up to men or to the ever decreasing numbers of sane women to climb in there with them.

[Canarr]

This article here

http://owningyourshit.blogspot.de/

has some interesting links.

[s_stabeler]

I will say that some points the site raises are accurate- off the top of my head, claims of rape involving intoxication by alcohol. Specifically, if the woman is intoxicated, it might be a good idea to check if the bloke was intoxicated as well- since if so, it really shouldn't be rape. ( because there's no intent- rape really should be reserved for cases where one party is deliberately trying to make the other party have sex with them. Cases when both parties are drunk? don't really count.

[HYHYBT]

Good point, though it depends. For example, if he got her drunk with the intent of getting her in a condition where she wouldn't be able to stop him, and then he got himself drunk to work up the nerve? Still rape.

[s_stabeler]

oh, I agree. What I mean is there shouldn't be the ASSUMPTION it is rape. Note the reason i gave for it not to be rape- lack of intent. Oh, and do remember it isn't necessarily the bloke getting the woman drunk. ( that IS a serious issue: it's far more difficult for a bloke to be believed when they've been raped than a woman.)

[HYHYBT]

Too true.
..

[Aragarthiel]

I'd just like to throw this in here.

I have a good friend who was once raped by his porn star ex-boyfriend. It was later revealed that the ex was HIV+, though thankfully my friend's tests came back negative.

Two points to this: one, that rape doesn't just happen heterosexually, and two, that STDs also factor into this. A better study of how STDs are contracted could help lead to a more accurate representation of rape statistics. I'm confident that many rape-related STDs end up treated, even if the actual rape isn't reported, and because of different strains, this could also help with many of the legal roadblocks rape victims encounter.

[s_stabeler]

the problem with tracking rape via STD spread is that STDs can spread juts as easily through consensual sex- and it can't even prove that the person who now has the STD has had sex. ( it's any bodily fliud that can spread STDs- blood can, for example, though it's far less likely)

[Aragarthiel]

It would be another angle to investigate, though, that could help with the accuracy of statistics. A simple questionnaire would be enough to help this, with questions such as the number of sexual partners and an optional section at the bottom if you want to describe exactly how you got the STD (more for the "My woman cheated on me" variety). You'd be able to profile likely rape victims based on their responses. Now, with any statistic, there would be a margin of error, but my point is, it would help.

[s_stabeler]

except for the fact that it's actually been prove that people lie about the number of sexual partners they've had. ( I can't remember where I read it, I'm afraid.)

[Canarr]

Good point, though it depends. For example, if he got her drunk with the intent of getting her in a condition where she wouldn't be able to stop him, and then he got himself drunk to work up the nerve? Still rape.

The same author covers the "intent" question at length in this blog post:http://owningyourshit.blogspot.de/20...-women_30.html

As to the tracking of rape through STDs: I have no idea if that would be possible. Maybe a medical professional could weigh in on that with knowledge about the feasibility?