Pastor Halts Funeral Because Deceased Is Gay

[Gravekeeper]

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_27...ource=infinite

Pastor halted the funeral an hour and 15 minutes in when he noticed picures of the deceased with her wife and demanded they remove all indications the deceased was gay or he would not continue. The family naturally refused.

They were then forced to literally carry her body themselves across the street to a funeral home not owned by assholes. Which fortunately was located close by. Oh, and the church won't even reimburse them.

How much of a backwards shithead do you have to be to seriously think God wants you to force a grieving woman and her family to carry her wife's body out of your "church" mid funeral because she didn't love penis.

Argh.

[HYHYBT]

I do not believe for a moment, absent very strong evidence, that this pastor was surprised at the pictures, or that first accepting the booking and then waiting until the service was in progress to toss them out was anything less (and perhaps even more) than a deliberate tactic to rub salt in the mourners' wounds.

And this is a horrendously unwise move. It's not going to get sympathy even from most anti-gay people. Just the opposite. Anyone with even the tiniest bit of basic decency would see either you refuse to book the service in the first place, listing things that you wouldn't allow *then* and asking if any would apply, or you let the service proceed. If anything, actions like this (and it's the second time I've heard of something similar in the last month or so) would serve to make people less inclined to support religious exemptions to discrimination law. In fact, that seems *so* obvious that, coupled with certain factions' fascination with seeing themselves as persecuted, it seems probable to me that it was done partly to help bring that about.

[Rageaholic]

Daffy Duck has some words for this pastor.

[bex1218]

If I read correctly somewhere, the pastor knew this person and who she was. So, even a more dickish move. If you were offended by her sexuality that much, then don't do the service.

[Andara Bledin]

I hope they sue that guy's ass off.

Not for discrimination, but for breach of contract.

[Kheldarson]

As a note, the pastor that stopped the funeral was not the one who was presiding over it; the one presiding over it was a pastor who knew the couple. The church, though, was rented due to location to friends and family.

From the wife's FB:

I would like to take the time to thank you all for your love and support in the most traumatic time in my life!
I would also like to clarify some of the events!

Vanessas services were NOT refused because she is a "lesbian". Her services were refused because we would not let New Hope Ministries "edit" her life which was a slideshow of our family photos including our engagement and family photos of her and I with our two children! It never crossed my mind that it would be an issue considering we paid to use their facility ONLY. We brought in our own Pastor to facilitate. I would completely understand if we were asking to be married there and it be a conflict of interest.
I'm not asking anyone to go against their own beliefs and religion. I only hoped we could find a house of God to celebrate my beautiful wife and her life (HER WHOLE LIFE) and lay her to rest in God's arms. Is it too much to ask for? To reflect on how beautiful her life is, with all of her family including myself, her children, her family and closest friends? ??
I lost my best friend, the love of my life and our children lost their mother!
How would Ray Chavez explain to them why our family photos were inappropriate for her services to be conducted in that house of God?
PLEASE I AM BEGGING ANYONE TO HELP EXPLAIN TO OUR CHILREN WHY OUR LIFE TOGETHER AS A FAMILY IS ANY LESS THAN ANYONE ELSES AND INAPPROPRIATE IN A HOUSE OF GOD???

[mjr]

I think there's been a bit of mis-information regarding this story. I read an article yesterday that said they didn't stop the funeral because she was gay, but because there were photos in the slideshow of the two women kissing. And apparently, the family/friends/wife had been asked not to put those photos in there. They did, however, have a couple of photos from the wedding itself, if I recall correctly, and the original presiding pastor didn't have an objection to those.

That, to my understanding, is why the funeral was halted.

I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that "because she was gay" is a bit of mis-information regarding the "why" of what happened.

I'll see if I can locate the article again...

[mjr]

I think there's been a bit of mis-information regarding this story. I read an article yesterday that said they didn't stop the funeral because she was gay, but because there were photos in the slideshow of the two women kissing. And apparently, the family/friends/wife had been asked not to put those photos in there. They did, however, have a couple of photos from the wedding itself, if I recall correctly, and the original presiding pastor didn't have an objection to those.

That, to my understanding, is why the funeral was halted.

I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that "because she was gay" is a bit of mis-information regarding the "why" of what happened.

I'll see if I can locate the article again...

Found it...

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/col...=answashpost11

The article states:

Rolando said that Chavez was “sorrowful” over the situation, but doesn’t believe that speaking publicly will “help the family get past this and move on.”

According to Rolando, the dispute was over about “3 or 4″ photos, of Collier displaying affection to her wife. The church, he said, was willing to allow photos of Collier’s marriage proposal to be shown.

“They only ask that the policy be followed and that they not be overtly affectionate in the way of kissing,” Rolando said.

[Gravekeeper]

I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that "because she was gay" is a bit of mis-information regarding the "why" of what happened.

No, ultimately it really isn't. >.>

"The church policy is that people with alternate lifestyles can have services, but there can be no pictures or videos of overt kissing or hugging," Rolando said.

[gremcint]

, but because there were photos in the slideshow of the two women kissing.

Sorry but that means it was because she was gay. This is a funeral, a representation of her life. ALL OF IT.

[Kheldarson]

I think there's been a bit of mis-information regarding this story. I read an article yesterday that said they didn't stop the funeral because she was gay, but because there were photos in the slideshow of the two women kissing. And apparently, the family/friends/wife had been asked not to put those photos in there. They did, however, have a couple of photos from the wedding itself, if I recall correctly, and the original presiding pastor didn't have an objection to those.

That, to my understanding, is why the funeral was halted.

I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that "because she was gay" is a bit of mis-information regarding the "why" of what happened.

I'll see if I can locate the article again...

One, the presiding pastor didn't have an issue at all. He wasn't from the church they held the services at originally.

Two, the church, when it rents part of its property out, still has to follow nondiscrimination laws. So we all know that a man and woman kissing wouldn't have been at issue here, right?

Three, so the fact that a pastor at the church, who wasn't involved with the funeral beyond a business issue stopped the funeral is a gross violation of contract, decorum, and reveals his bias.

[Canarr]

Playing devil's advocate here... IF the church policy is as Rolando states it, and IF that policy is part of any contract for an event at the church, then they're not in breach of contract - it's the mourners who didn't adhere to the contract for the funeral.

Whether or not such a policy is legal according to local discrimination laws, I don't know.

Why on Earth they wanted to hold the funeral at a place with such a shitty policy is beyond me.

[s_stabeler]

basically? the shitty place was the most conveniant for everyone attending.