"How dare you not mind being called 'sir'?

[Dreamstalker]

A lot when I was younger (I was such a tomboy), and even now sometimes I will occasionally be mistaken for a male. That doesn't really bother me...in the HS tech department I was "one of the guys"--gender didn't matter as long as you could do the work and not freak out about getting dirty/banged up.

When my LARP group was running, updated character-creation rules for the RPG we were using hadn't been written yet and nobody really wanted to invest the time, so my character by necessity was a male. Nothing odd about that in the slightest.

I keep my hair cut above my collar because I like it that way (it's an obviously feminine haircut the first few days, but when it starts to grow out it's fairly androgynous). I've been mistaken for a guy on some of my forums...when this happened on a computer forum, the then-not-ex jumped down the throat of the member who did it (and got temp-banned for harassing him).

The ex is scandalized that I don't care.

"But don't you feel like less of a woman?" No. It's honestly not worth the energy to get worked up about it.

"How could anyone be that stupid?" Why assume it's due to stupidity? It happens, especially from across the street if I'm not wearing obviously feminine clothing. I don't wear visible makeup unless necessary. I'm amused more than anything if called 'sir' to my face.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I'm gonna have to go with "because the ex boyfriend had some issues with the fact that his girl was a bit androgynous." Sounds like it bothers him more than he cares to let on.

[Greenday]

I personally don't like being called "sir". It just means I'm getting older

[Dreamstalker]

I'm gonna have to go with "because the ex boyfriend had some issues with the fact that his girl was a bit androgynous."

That sounds right. I think he was always a bit pissed that I did more actual work than he did in our tech classes in college. Being that's a "guy's" profession typically, being out-guy'ed at that (it's NOT a competition) probably had something to do with it (dude, you didn't do what you were asked so of course I'm picking up the slack as this had to get done an hour ago).

I mainly find "sir" amusing due to the fact that I'm...well, not a sir by any means.

I personally don't see what the advantage would be to advertise my gender as a technician other than a private "cool, I can do this and be good at it". I refuse to fix computers or run crew in a skirt, anyway. Every shop I've ever been in, skirts and the like were banned and to show up wearing one was to be sent home.

[Evandril]

Out of curiosity, had you posted your picture or anything on the site? If not, 'tis fairly common for techs to assume people are female, without reason to believe otherwise (Not saying it's right...Just common)

In a field well known for it's sexism...Yeah, I'd not want to be pushing my gender much, personally

[Dreamstalker]

I don't think there are any actual photos of me on the interwebs...mainly b/c I can't seem to get a decent-to-me pic. My prop forum knows I'm a girl, that's more for demographic purposes (as well as the semi-annual debate over "authentic" or "sexy" uniforms which more often than not ends up getting silly).

The computer forum assumed I was male almost from the get-go, maybe b/c the first questions I asked were more technical than the average girl would ask (how much of an overclock can X handle with Y cooling, etc).

My primary forum avatar is my original LARP character, but why he would be reading into that I don't know.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Some people just can't tell. I can look at a long-haired, big-boobed supermodel and have to think for a second about what I'm looking at. Don't even ask me how hard it is when someone doesn't have any sort of sexual identifier.

[Xanthina]

I personally don't like being called "sir". It just means I'm getting older

I'm sorry. I try and call all people I don't know Sir/Ma'am out of respect, regardless of age, unless they look under 18, and even then, I might depending on the situation. And I always use Sir/Ma'am for people I highly respect, unless strictly told otherwise.

[Evandril]

So on a forum where you'd provided no reference if you were male or female, asked a question that would more typically come from a guy, you were supposed to be offended that they didn't figure out you were female?!? Heck, right now, your avatar is male, I'd seriously not be surprised if that in and of itself confused some people. Honestly, as far as most things go online...What does it matter, really?

Xan, I do the same thing...I worked in retail long enough, it's a habit to answer Sir/Ma'am to someone...Unfortunatly, being around guys 90% of the time at work, the habit has shifted to 'Sir'...Which has earned me at least one dirty look

[Dreamstalker]

So on a forum where you'd provided no reference if you were male or female, asked a question that would more typically come from a guy, you were supposed to be offended that they didn't figure out you were female?!?

That's apparently what the ex thinks. If I want people to know, I will do so either directly or through clues. I couldn't care less really; ability is ability (and so what if I like my hair really short?).

[Slytovhand]

I did up a WoW character that I made female, figuring I'd be able to use that to my advantage... which did happen. I had one 'guy' (I can only presume...) come racing up to me, wanting to help me (I had that a few times) and even wanting to give me goodies (too bad he couldn't ). I also recall one of my first characters, also female, and one of my guild members tried flirting with me (much to his embarrassment later when I guild-chatted it).

gotta love assumptions!!

[Dreamstalker]

When I let the ex read my fanfic (what was I thinking?) he wanted me to make my character more over-the-top feminine (um, you do know what universe I write in). Coauthor-from-hell's character was ultra-female, and she didn't last long.

The RPG seems to limit 'girly-girl' player characters for two main reasons: getting slimed is a fairly regular occurrence (minimum once per session) and the existence of incubi in-universe. Nobody wants to attract those things.

[powerboy]

I am a gentleman and there for, I call men of different ages "sir". I honestly don't mid being called it. To me, it is about respect. But hey, I am gentleman after all and do have manners to boot.

[guywithashovel]

When I was eighteen years old and just starting my first retail job, I had customers mistake me for a female.

"Excuse me, ma'am, could you help me find ..." Customer then got a better look at me. "Oh ... I'm really sorry, sir!"

I have to admire Dreamstalker for having the composure to laugh at this happening to her (albeit the other way around). When it happened to me, I got a little irritated. I really didn't think I looked like a girl. Though looking back, I can sort of understand how people made the mistake. I am a fairly small-framed guy. I stand about five feet, seven inches tall and I'm kind of slender. And back then, I was "teenager skinny." On top of that, I wore my hair kind of long, and my face did have delicate features. My skin was light, and I still had a "babyface" to some extent. I "could" grow facial hair, but it was really light and hard to see. And once I'd shaved it off, I looked as though I was incapable of growing any.

I didn't take much time to consider this back then, though. I didn't have the best people skills in the world when I was that age. Not that my people skills are super these days, but they're better than they once were.