People who air their dirty laundry online

[BrenDAnn]

Alright, this is something that's getting on my last nerve. Why is it that people *cough*mydamnrelatives*cough* feel the need to fight with their SO or ex-SO on Facebook? I have two different cousins that I see regularly doing this. Both have a habit of starting it out as a 'woe is me, everyone hates me' type of post. Said post then degenerates into, more or less, a full-on argument with their SO/ex-SO. WHY? Honestly, if I were to date someone, and saw that stuff on their profile, that would be a HUGE deal breaker for me. Here's a novel idea: try sitting down and talking to each other in person, like the adults you purport yourselves to be. It's called a private life for a damn reason! I know we live in an age where nothing seems to be sacred when it comes to our everyday lives, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere! Anyone else have people like this in their online lives?

[Aragarthiel]

I personally get annoyed by the "You know who you are" posts. You know, the ones that tell a story using the generic "people" term instead of someone's name, then end with "You know who you are" or some similar phrase.

I don't need to know that some mysterious chick you're Facebook friends with is sending nude pics to your husband. The rest of the world doesn't need to know. We don't really care.

[mjr]

I've got a cousin that does this. Except they're generally one-sided, poorly-worded, misspelled posts. Generally about either someone in the family who she feels has slighted her, or about one of the sperm donors of one of her kids.

I've come to the conclusion that it's for attention, and for garnering support from their FB followers/friends.

Of course, most of Social Media is about attention, and "Hey, look at me! I've got something to say!" Whether we like it or not, that's true.

[HYHYBT]

There is, though, something to be said for the attitude that a public accusation needs a public rebuttal. Which doesn't mean it should continue from there still public, but in-person is not the only adult alternative either.

If it's an ex, and you're trying to remain at least somewhat civil and rational, it seems to me that communication at a distance in a form that allows editing a response would be beneficial. Just not on Facebook... and obviously those who are doing it there aren't being careul of their responses in the first place.

[mjr]

There is, though, something to be said for the attitude that a public accusation needs a public rebuttal. Which doesn't mean it should continue from there still public, but in-person is not the only adult alternative either.

What you're saying is true, but from there it generally escalates. That's when things turn south.

[BrenDAnn]

Exactly, mjr, and in the case of some of my cousins, that doesn't take much. Even my dad, who just joined FB last December, has called one of them out on his behavior. It didn't change a damn thing. I'm just thankful for the ability to unfollow without unfriending. If people want to take what should be a private (be it in person or via private messages) argument public, I'm not going to follow them. I don't need that kind of attention seeking drama.

[Food Lady]

Stuff like this is why I don't have a facebook anymore. "..public accusation needs a public rebuttal" reminds me of the proverb "Answer a fool according to his folly." The antithesis is "Don't answer a fool according to his folly." They're both right; you must use wisdom to decide which to enact when. The problem is people have no wisdom, especially on social media.

[s_stabeler]

It depends. If the accusation is serious enough to cause ongoing problems for the one accused then a rebuttal- or indeed, a retraction- should be public.( as a rule of thumb, if not spreading the accusation around will cause it to be forgotten, then a public rebuttal or retraction is probably unnecessary. if, however, the accusation has taken on a life of it's own- won't be forgotten, in other words- then a public rebuttal and/or retraction is appropriate.The idea is that making it public helps to stop the spread of the false allegation.(hence why there's been occasional demands for papers to make corrections as prominent as the original article)