Possibly the most annoying thing ever....

[blas87]

Oh, and guywithashovel, you just described one of my friends and my boyfriend's brother to an absolute T.

My boyfriend's brother is notorious for ditching. Now granted, he is a hypochondriac (to the hundreth power) and he has social anxiety disorder, depression, a whole list of personal issues, multiply it by the fact that he is just an impulsive person by nature........he'll load himself up on pills and feel somewhat social, but when he gets there, he gets scared and says he's going to the store to get cigarettes and he disappears. Just disappears.

My boyfriend knows fully well about this, and still trusts his brother to take him places, fully knowing he WILL be ditched. And yet he never learns to quit taking rides from his brother or going along with him.

Two Fridays ago, his brother took us to the bar, he got so overwhelmed because of the amount of people that he said he was going out to his car to get more Valium. He took off and did not come back until nearly barclose. I was seeing red, considering we were in BumFuck Egypt where there are NO CABS and I had no friends who could take me home. My boyfriend didn't seem worried at all that we COULD HAVE been stranded or maybe would have had to take a ride with a stranger or God forbid, walked 10 miles back to town!

[Boozy]

Boozy, you do have a very good point, but wouldn't you consider it a little rude with the whole ulterior motive "Hmmm, let's see if something better comes along?"

I do consider it rude, yes. Sorry if I didn't make that clear. It's definitely inconsiderate to leave someone hanging.

I was simply saying that if we read between the lines, we can at least make alternative plans and move on with our lives. Whenever someone refuses to give me a definite affirmative, I count them out of the activity altogether. And I don't take it personally - it's usually the activity they don't like, and not me.

[BlaqueKatt]

Unless it happens every single time you suggest anything, don't take it personally.

sadly with me this is what happens every single time. I've become somewhat of a social recluse because of it. This is the order of how it goes down-EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

1) katt decides to invite maybe 5-10 people to do something fun
2) Katt talks to people-gets input makes plans
3) Katt's invitees tell her they'll be there-looking forward to it etc.
4) Day of plans everyone committed to: Katt gets phone calls from everyone, saying "something came up" usually about an hour to 20 minutes before the planned time.
5) Katt stays home alone, again.

this happens no matter how many or how few people I invite-yet I go to the stuff all these people plan-will drop everything if they call or need me, but they can't be arsed to follow through on anything. Now they've begun asking why I don't plan/invite them to do anything anymore.

I actually had a birthday party where the only people that showed were people I didn't want to be there and didn't get invited. And out of 30 people, only one called-the rest just never showed.

Don't even get me started on the ones that refuse to go anywhere you can't smoke inside-my city has a smoking ban-so you get up and walk five feet to the door-go out and smoke-not a big deal-I pick the non-smoking places because a lot of my friends are non-smokers, and I will not subject them to that. Heck I don't even smoke in my own house.

[powerboy]

I used to be friends with this one guy, who at times would be fucking way late. Once, we had plans to go bar hopping. We were to leave my house at 9pm. So I waited for him. And waited and waited and waited. I called him and he said that he was on his way. It got to be 1am and he called and said that was at a friends house. Fuck that, we had plans to leave at 9pm. WTF. Yes I did get even for that. The following Friday, I had him pay for everything. Our dinner, and drinks, I let other peoples drink be apart of "my" tab. . When he wanted to know why, I told point blank about what happened last week. Ever since then, he was on time. Lets just say that *Homey don't play that.

*Cookies for the reference

[smileyeagle1021]

Add to that, Smiley, when you do finally get there, either the place is closed, he decides he doesn't have the time to, or he's stuffed you around so much, you don't have the time or patience to go eat there anyway!! grrr!

oh yeah... forgot about that part... to add insult to injury it was obvious that this guy had a major crush on me... and he honestly thought he was doing me a favor by making it so I didn't have to ride the bus... he didn't seem to understand that I don't have to ride the bus, I have a car... I chose to ride the bus often because it's less stressful than driving, it's cheaper, and in view of our dwindling oil reserves the right thing to do... and honestly, I don't mind, I've met quite a few interesting people (both for better and worse) on the bus. I think that arrogance he showed of thinking that obviously I was riding the bus because I was unable to drive and he was their to do me a favor doomed any chance he had with me (well, that and the fact that I found out he was/is a compulsive liar).

[DesignFox]

<snip> Lets just say that *Homey don't play that.

*Cookies for the reference

In Living Color!

I'm not friendly with people who can't keep plans. It drives me bonkers. I'm very flexible and usually up for whatever...but once a plan is set, I'm there! I don't say I'll be there and then not show up. If something comes up and someone calls ahead of time, I'll be disappointed, but understanding. Life happens!

[PepperElf]

The Navy is no better at times... like when I was standing watch at the pier gate & waiting for my replacement to show up.

If the relief was late I'd call up... and I learned quickly that "He's on his way" often meant they just found the guy and were waking him up.

So I got to asking, "On his way - leaving the ship, or on his way - just getting up?" If the reply was, "uh..." then you know it'll be a good wait (30 minutes minimum, tho I've had far longer)

[blas87]

I've just discovered that there are people out there who just have NO concept of time. They cannot manage their time and if they are going to do multiple things in a day, they can never seem to be able to manage their time so that they are not late for plans that they made with people. And that they do "forget". It's SO irritating.

[Boozy]

That's my boss. I've come to realize that's there's no point in getting angry about it, since she really can't help it. Time management is a handicap for her. She quite literally cannot manage her time on her own.

Personally, I don't believe people can be effective managers without this skill. But she has many other talents, so I don't mind working with her on this one issue.

[Evandril]

In my experience, when someone says something like "Let's see how things work out", what they really mean is "I don't want to pin myself down to that because a better offer may come along."

Unless it happens every single time you suggest anything, don't take it personally. If I suggest a movie to my husband and he says "We'll see", it just means he's not into the movie I suggested. He's still into me.

I've used a version of this...but if I'm telling a person that, to me, it means I've made a commitment to do *something* with them...If I can find something that we can do that appeals more, I'll see if they are up for that...and if not, we go with the original plan.

That, or I'm on standby or the like, and can't promise I *will* be free...in which case I both make that clear, and try to let them know my plans changed, if they do.

[Seshat]

There's another category of people who are kind of difficult in this way, but can't help it. And that's people with any sort of disability which has 'bad days' and 'good days'.

On a bad day, it's all I can do to get out of bed and sit at my computer and try to keep my mind functional, since my body isn't.

On a really bad day, I need help just to get to the loo.

I can schedule something with you, but if I have a bad day, and you're not a medical appointment where it's actually GOOD for you to see what my bad days are like, I AM going to cancel.

It's not fair to either of us for you to waste your time trying to do something with me when I'm barely coherent and snappy with pain. Though if you want to come to my place and see me for as long as I'm coherent enough to be company, that would be fine.


Anyone else with similar problems - well, IMO, the smart and thoughtful ones have the same attitude.

The way in which we differ from the people in this thread, though, is that we will call when we cancel.
When it's me, the call sounds a lot like "Hello? Iz sheshad. I's sigk. Can' come t'day. I sorry."
Or so I'm told.

[McDreidel09]

I'm one of the worst people to break off plans with.

I plan things to a T. We decide what time and where and what will go down. I get to places early or I finish getting ready early,so I'm ready to go.


Say someone plans to pick me up at 5.

4:50, I'm ready to go. Shoes are on. Purse is by me. I'll be on the 'puter,waiting.

5 comes. Not there. Ok. No big deal. Traffic.

5:05. Get a little antsy, but not too much.

5:20 I'm pissed. Our town is tiny and traffic is NEVER that bad. Texts and calls start going and so help the person who doesn't answer.

My last Prom was like this. The person who was supposed to do my hair forgot and went out of his town. My date who lived in same town as the person who was supposed to do my hair was in his car with his gf, not knowing where they were going. I was supposed to pick him up at his house.

I start crying. Once you set plans with me and don't even call, I will keep calling and texting until I get an answer. It's not right. I may be annoying for calling, but you should have called to let me know things changed. I cleared my schedule for you. Face the consequences.

[blas87]

We seem to be a lot alike, Dreidel. I'm a big planner. I have no issue if while out and about, I run into a friend (or we, if I'm with my bf) and we go somewhere else or out of the blue go out to eat or whatever.

I have a huge issue with people who cannot keep plans or are always late. I don't like having to tell someone "Be here at 9" if I want them here by noon.

[McDreidel09]

I know, right,Blas?

What other people just don't seem to grasp is that I have other friends who want to do stuff with me. The first to ask shall be the one who gets dibs on me,unless something comes up. At least I call that person up and say "Hey. An emergency came up. Can we postpone until later today or tomorrow?" I like to offer an alternative time.

I don't mind if someone calls me to break off plans, as long as it's a good reason. Let's just try to avoid crap like that.

And that's why we need to hang out,Blas. We would be there early and stick to the plans.

[blas87]

At the very least, I'd be there on time and if something got in my way, I'd call you. I wouldn't just leave you hanging there.

Oh and what else is annoying? When you DO get a hold of the person who ditched you and they act like it's nothing. Even moreso if they utter the words "It's no big deal", because that fixes everything, right?