Being Ignored and Trivialized

[DrFaroohk]

Been getting really stressed out and frustrated lately and depressed, and my wife and I were just talking tonight as we were getting ready for bed, and she finally asks me whats wrong and if there's anything I want to talk about. So I start to open up a bit about how one of the things bothering me is that the children are really stressing me out, more so than normal, and how I'm not even enjoying my time with them anymore because I'm so overloaded with them.

Then comes what I've learned to recognize as the awkward silence, and she changes the subject on me to something completely unrelated! ! ! ! ! ! It's like she either didn't care, or couldn't possibly handle listening to me vent for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES!

But it really sucked and I've been pissed off about it for the past 4 hours now. I even fell asleep pissed off, and then when the baby woke up screaming, and of course I (who else) had to get up with her, AGAIN, I was really really really pissed off.

GAH!

[AFPheonix]

Maybe she just didn't know what to say in response. Instead of going to sleep mad, be brave, open your mouth, and let her know when she does something you perceive to be uncaring. Of course, do it in a way that isn't going to be cruel to her, either. Ask her why she did that. You may be surprised to find out the real reason.
Letting yourself think the worst about why she's acting the way she is and getting all bent out of shape about it is a recipe for resentment for you and her, and that is a relationship killer.

[Slytovhand]

I'm certainly no expert on relationships, but...

Firstly (and probably quite irrelevant), I've found that when I'm really pissed off at something, and imagining all sorts of reasons... they're usually wrong

But more importantly, secondly, if you don't do something about it now, what's going to change? If something is going to happen about it, how do you want it to go, and how do you want it to end up? Which means, you can keep it in and keep resenting (for the next, year, 5, 10, 30, whatever), or you can try to sort it out in whatever way you think best. Of course, you can choose not to do it the 'best' way, in which case, it'll turn out to be a really crap way.....