Stubborn Children

[DrFaroohk]

Wow things have changed since I was a kid. I'm not even old! At all! I'm young. When I was a kid, kids didn't have "rights". No one gave a crap about what they wanted or what was going on in their heads. The only rights a kid had were for basic survival - ya had to feed them, clothe them, and try not to rape them.

Everything else just had a screw you attitude to it. I remember being treated like a second class citizen. It quite frankly didn't matter what I wanted. It didn't matter if I was right or wrong. What mattered was that I was a child, and a lesser being. Aside from being fed and clothed, all my needs took a back seat to the adults. Why? Because the adult has been around more, they've lived a longer right, and their life sucks because they have to deal with tiny, annoying children. So they get preference over what we eat, where we eat, what we do after dinner, where they sit and what we watch on TV. The small people have to figure out their own shit or get lost on the way.

I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing, but it kinda sucks that like my parents were treated like second class citizens too - then they grew up, survived childhood, paid their dues, and then they had the right to treat me like crap. But now that I've grown up, all of a sudden the kids are the #1 people in the world, and they rule everything. And they treat me like crap. My mother used to leave a big red handprint on my face if I acted like my kids do now.

[blas87]

I remember those days, too, Dr.

I remember when children were seen and not heard, and I'm only 22.

Nowadays, children are always heard, yet never seen.....because they are screaming at the top of their lungs 10 aisles away at Wal-Mart!

[Peppergirl]

Honestly, if I was told I could look back and change ONE thing about parenting my kids when they were little, it would be that I shouldn't have given in to whining, no matter HOW stressed I was.

No excuses, and I would do it completely differently now, but it's so easy to get to the point where you will completely lose your shit if they don't shut up for like TWO minutes.

I think mine had alot to do with being REALLY young when my kids were born. If I had had my kids later, I'd have done things so differently.

I have alot of regret in this regard, trust me.

Whenever I see one of these parents at the store, I wanna pull them to the side and say "Listen, the crap you're taking now will be 20x times worse 10 years from now!"

Hindsight is 20/20 for a reason...and we do, indeed, reap what we sow.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Fortunately, I had mine later in life, and most of my friend's kids are all grown. So I have a lot of hindsight type of advice. I can understand why someone would give in sometimes...sometimes you think your brain is going to explode if they won't just be quiet and let you think for just two minutes. But you are right, it sets a terrible precedent if you give in. Especially when they are older.

Nip it in the bud early. And don't think your kids are being stubborn, DrFaroohk. Your kids are being kids. They aren't abnormal for acting that way. Just be calm and be a rock. (yes, believe me, I know it's hard. I'm right where you are, I've just got half your energy to deal with it, probably, because I am probably twice your age.)

[tabbyblack13]

I'm the first in my family to admit that I was spoiled but, I was never allowed to scream, kick, or act rudely. No one in my family would let me get away with any back talking, swearing, or being a brat. Even now if I even think about being rude my parents will still correct me. I agree with hearing the child before seeing it. I swear I can spend my shopping day hearing children but not seeing them.

[Lace Neil Singer]

My little brother was spoiled a bit, cuz he was the youngest; but he was never allowed to act up in public. If he started tantruming while with the rest of the family (Mum did her shopping alone, which is the best way if you can! XD), Dad would just pick him up and take him to the car, locking him in. XD So he missed out on treats that the rest of us got, but wasn't made to watch us eating our ice creams or whatever.

I don't have kids; I think that if I had to deal with whining and screaming, I wouldn't react well. It's best I don't have kids.

[DesignFox]

Oh. I'll admit no problem that I was a "spoiled" child. I'm still a spoiled daddy's girl.

But the difference is I appreciate what my parents give or have given me. I only acted out once, then never had to be told again (as a kid- my brother on the other hand.... *sigh*).

Spoiled. Not rotten. Big difference.

[blas87]

I'm a daddy's girl, too. And I don't mean that by getting everything I wanted.

I mean that my daddy will always drop what he's doing if my car is acting up, or if I screwed up the plumbing in my bathroom sink or if I can't reach my smoke alarm and it won't quit going off.......Daddy can't say no to helping me out.

[McDreidel09]

I was never one of those children. I learned really early that I can't always get what I want and that money doesn't grow on trees. I walked quietly, holding onto the side of the cart and moved when another cart came by. My mom was always complimented when we were out because my sister and I were good.

I wouldn't say that my opinions weren't put in the backseat. When I reached the age of 12, I was asked if there was a place I wanted to eat, if the adults didn't know where to go. If we were going tot he movies, I was asked if I wanted to see a different movie by myself, since I knew how to conduct myself in public.

I guess I was raised a bit more liberally than a lot of you (simply because of age differences), but even the early 90's kids had a stricter way of living than the kids these days.

[AFPheonix]

I guess I was raised a bit more liberally than a lot of you (simply because of age differences), but even the early 90's kids had a stricter way of living than the kids these days.

Heh. Every single person ever will always say this about people younger than themselves.

Guess what? There were some kids that were spoiled rotten in our age groups. There were others that probably got punished too much.
It's the same thing with this batch of kids too. I interact with kids through 4-H, and I have to say the kids are all still great. However, I have noticed that some moms are distinctly more crazy.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I was raised fairly liberally, actually; my parents let me stay out as long as I wanted, as long as I didn't wake them up when I came in, allowed me to drink alcohol as long as I did so at home (which took all the fun out of it. XD), never tried to stop me listening to what music I wanted or watching what movies I wanted, and let me dress however I liked as long as I paid. However, they didn't let me get away with acting up in public, or let me live off junk and sweets the whole time. I wouldn't say they were strict; more that they were just good parents. It shouldn't be an automatic response to say that good parents are strict. O.o