People in relationships

[Lace Neil Singer]

My main irritation when single was the following situation:

Lace walks into a party by herself omg! In front of her is a couple. Man is balding, with a beer gut. Woman gives Lace a death glare and puts her arm round her man.

Honestly, I don't want your fella. Just cuz I'm single, does not make me a sex crazed boyf stealer. -.- I'm coupled up now, but I don't burst a blood vessel if a woman talks to my boyf. He has a lot of women friends; I have male friends. We deal.

[Boozy]

What is this pet peeve that I am talking about: It's the women who are already in relationships (or married) who are really friendly and sociable with me and thus get my hopes up.

There's nothing wrong with an attached woman being friendly and sociable with a single guy, but the polite thing for them to do would be to reveal their relationship status early on. It's not an obligation by any means, but if they weren't so oblivious to the fact that you're expressing interest, this could all be avoided.

Maybe you're too subtle?

Personally, I can't imagine spending any length of time longer than an hour or two with someone without mentioning my husband. I don't harp on it or anything, but it's hard to have a "get to know you" type conversation without mentioning my marital status. It affects where I live and what I do.

Plus, I wear a wedding band. Always check for those.

[blas87]

Hey Boozy, wedding rings do come off......

[Boozy]

Hey Boozy, wedding rings do come off......

Obviously. But unless I've misunderstood something, the women in the situations guywithashovel describes are not actively hiding their marital status. They just don't mention it early enough.

[Slytovhand]

A couple (hahaha) of things comes to mind in reading the responses...

ShovelGuy... I totally agree with you. If you're seriously attached to someone, and your getting to know someone, I don't understand how one's partner doesn't at least rate a mention.. such as "What did you get up to on the weekend", "Oh, SO and I went...blah blah blah"... How can you chat with someone for weeks at a time, and that not come up at least once?

OTOH, hearing about how your latest bf/gf walked into the room and then walked out of the room and then said something funny, and then laughed, and then sat down, and then looked at their watch, and then had a drink, and then..... yeah - you know, how you have to hear everything about them and what they did... ah - pass, no thank you! The latest love of your life is not as fantastic as you'd really like to make them out to be! If they were, why were they single before they met you?

I should probably make this a new thread (unless it's already been done), but I really do not need to have absolutely every conversation we have come back to your kids! I know you love them, and adore them, but is there any chance, any chance at all, that we can spend just 10 minutes of a chat without them getting mentioned??? Remember pre-kids when you used to roll your eyes at that gushy stuff?? Yeah.. that's where I'm at with you!!

/rant


(DF - what?? You've had partners who didn't want to learn how to ride?? Psychos!)

[Lace Neil Singer]

I should probably make this a new thread (unless it's already been done), but I really do not need to have absolutely every conversation we have come back to your kids! I know you love them, and adore them, but is there any chance, any chance at all, that we can spend just 10 minutes of a chat without them getting mentioned??? Remember pre-kids when you used to roll your eyes at that gushy stuff?? Yeah.. that's where I'm at with you!!

Agreed. I'll also add this; while I don't mind as much people talking about how cute their baby's smile is, as long as they don't go on for more than five minutes telling me about it, I do NOT want to hear about the texture of their baby's stools, how constipated they are, how they spit up on you the other day, and other discussions of baby bodily functions. Keep it for your health visitor.

[DesignFox]

<snip>

(DF - what?? You've had partners who didn't want to learn how to ride?? Psychos!)

Yes. My last partner was against my horse back riding and everything to do with it. I should have been the one to break the relationship off before it got as bad as it did.

I can understand a person not being as into the riding as me. But sheesh. It's important to me! At least be supportive!

Current SO not only supports what I do, he's actually trying to learn the basics of riding. He will never compete or ride seriously, but this way at least he won't be afraid of going on a trail ride together at some point.

Anyway. I think everyone raised great points. So, I have nothing else to add.

[blas87]

I think that's pretty sad.

I've got plenty of friends who have different interests and goals than I do, and I never bash them for it (unless it's illegal).

[AFPheonix]

My husband is pretty allergic to the horses, so I've never been able to talk him into getting on one and I don't think I ever will.

It may also have something to do with me coming home occasionally gimpy or with a black eye from when I was training outside horses v v