I started thinking about this when replying to the "stuck in the middle" post, and figured it was best to start a new thread about it.
I have very few true "friends." I can think of three people (outside of my immediate family) who I really trust and who have been there for me/I've been there for them every time the shit hits the fan.
Oh sure, I have lots of "friends." I know lots of people and I'm friendly with lots of people, and I hang out with lots of people. But really, when it comes down to it, most of them really don't give a damn.
Case in point. Back in Wisconsin, I had a "friend" who I was very, very close to for several years. We would hang out together fairly often and sometimes just go on drives and talk about stuff, mostly relationship issues (romantic and otherwise.) For a while, I started considering him my "best friend." I trusted him and would confide in him when I needed advice/was having a bad day/etc.
However, there would also be periods of time when I wouldn't hear from him for days, sometimes weeks. I knew where he worked (he was a bartender at my favorite bar in town) so it would get to the point where I'd actually go to the bar specifically to see him and ask if he wanted to hang out sometime, because he wouldn't return my phone calls or texts.
Then he moved away to go to college, and got even more distant. I understand this. He would come home every weekend to work the bartender gig, and the bar is closed on Sundays (and he usually didn't work both Friday and Saturday nights every weekend) so he'd often say during the week, "let's get together this weekend." And then I'd never hear from him. I'd text him or call him to ask if he wanted to do lunch or go for a ride, and I'd get no response, at all.
I hardly EVER talk to him anymore, and it really sucks 'cuz we were so close for a while, and I miss some of the conversations we'd have. On the other hand, the last couple times I've seen him, he's acted like a complete jerk, so I wonder if it would ever be worth it to try and mend our friendship.
I guess what I'm getting to is it really irks me that people can be so "friendly" when they want to be, and act like they don't give a damn the next minute. There were times when I would call/text my friend crying, asking him to call me back because I was upset and needed someone to talk to, and I'd never hear from him about it. Not even the next day, or a week later, saying "sorry I didn't get back to you, I lost my phone" or "I couldn't call you back the other day, hope you're feeling better." Just absolutely zero acknowledgment of the situation.
I have very few true "friends." I can think of three people (outside of my immediate family) who I really trust and who have been there for me/I've been there for them every time the shit hits the fan.
Oh sure, I have lots of "friends." I know lots of people and I'm friendly with lots of people, and I hang out with lots of people. But really, when it comes down to it, most of them really don't give a damn.
Case in point. Back in Wisconsin, I had a "friend" who I was very, very close to for several years. We would hang out together fairly often and sometimes just go on drives and talk about stuff, mostly relationship issues (romantic and otherwise.) For a while, I started considering him my "best friend." I trusted him and would confide in him when I needed advice/was having a bad day/etc.
However, there would also be periods of time when I wouldn't hear from him for days, sometimes weeks. I knew where he worked (he was a bartender at my favorite bar in town) so it would get to the point where I'd actually go to the bar specifically to see him and ask if he wanted to hang out sometime, because he wouldn't return my phone calls or texts.
Then he moved away to go to college, and got even more distant. I understand this. He would come home every weekend to work the bartender gig, and the bar is closed on Sundays (and he usually didn't work both Friday and Saturday nights every weekend) so he'd often say during the week, "let's get together this weekend." And then I'd never hear from him. I'd text him or call him to ask if he wanted to do lunch or go for a ride, and I'd get no response, at all.
I hardly EVER talk to him anymore, and it really sucks 'cuz we were so close for a while, and I miss some of the conversations we'd have. On the other hand, the last couple times I've seen him, he's acted like a complete jerk, so I wonder if it would ever be worth it to try and mend our friendship.
I guess what I'm getting to is it really irks me that people can be so "friendly" when they want to be, and act like they don't give a damn the next minute. There were times when I would call/text my friend crying, asking him to call me back because I was upset and needed someone to talk to, and I'd never hear from him about it. Not even the next day, or a week later, saying "sorry I didn't get back to you, I lost my phone" or "I couldn't call you back the other day, hope you're feeling better." Just absolutely zero acknowledgment of the situation.
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