"Sexualizing kids"

[jackfaire]

Sexualizing kids is wrong let me say that first off but that's not what this is about not quite. What this is about would be the fact there are people who want to pretend that no one and i mean no one ever has a single sexual thought or characteristic until the very day of their 18th birthday. Before then no one thinks about it at all.

A girl of 21 was worried because society makes a big deal about "only pedophiles will find a 16 year old sexy" So she's feeling worried because she's checked out some guys who turned out to be in high school. At the youngest of 16 they're within five years of her and biologically it's totally normal for her to be attracted as they're within the normal age range for that.

A lot of people though tried to convince her that she needs therapy and should register herself as a pedophile.

When I reassured her it was normal but that they are socially very different worlds and it's good to not act on it I was attacked for being a dirty old man who sexualizes children.

Being cognizant of the fact that teenagers have hormones and that their bodies are maturing isn't sexualizing teens. It's paying attention to reality. I was starting to notice girls when I was 11. By 15 I was trying to sleep with a neighbor girl. When I hit 18 my memory wasn't wiped of those early explorations.

At 38 I don't forget that I and other boys my age at that age were interested in sex. But if you ever talk about providing sex education, access to birth control, etc. It's "you're sexualizing teens stop sexualizing teens they don't want sex it's all you"

It's annoying as hell.

[Canarr]

Oh god, yes! This tendency of throwing around the label "pedophile" for anyone showing attraction to a person below 18 years is not just factually wrong, but seriously annoying.

Pedophilia means attraction to pre-pubescent children. Teenagers, while still legally children, are showing physical adult developments, and thus may be sexually attractive to anyone sexually interested in adults of the relevant sex. There's nothing wrong with, being an older man or woman, finding a teenager sexually attractive. It's a natural reaction that one cannot really control.

Now, that doesn't mean it isn't wrong to try to sleep with 15-year-olds if you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s... you get my drift. It definitely is. Because while they may not be children anymore, they aren't fully adults yet, either, and shouldn't be taken advantage of.

But feeling attraction to teenagers is not in itself wrong. People should stop freaking out about that. And ffs, please teach your teenagers about sex and birth control. It cuts down on teenage pregnancies and STDs. Thank you.

[D_Yeti_Esquire]

I think one of the reasons you see such visceral reactions is because the alternative is dissecting the designation of "child". In other words, one internalizes societies logic and it sets in that "revulsion" reflex so one doesn't have to think. And most societies are ok with that because it keeps most of the reactions they don't want people having in check and doesn't interfere too much with day to day. We pick a safe "ideal" and then everyone backs away and defends it.

Its one of those topics where it's just safer to let it lie unless you have an offsetting societal driver. Consider the current gender imbalance in china leading to sex trafficing/abduction.

For kids, that tends to be periods of war, famine, or fertility issues. I don't actually think morality plays much of a factor at all. You can see religious societies around the world that are OK with kids having kids but don't want them to drink or smoke. They can fire a gun,but they need to not think about sex. They cannot make a decision about having an abortion but they can marry somoene.

Anyway, not justifying anything. I just think by and large its an issue you give people space on because that 30 something year old woman calling someone a dirty old man helped make the Jonas Brothers, Hansen and Justin Timberlake famous. And it wasn't 'cuz they were wise and of age. I don't think I even need to say anything about men - Ariana, Britney, Christina...