This Really Bothers Me...

[blas87]

I'll freely admit that sometimes I have jumped into a thread and made a point to say that "Not EVERYONE does this or that" but more of what I'm talking about is where someone is just getting something off of their chest or telling a story of something that's recently happened in their life, and someone jumps in and says "Well are you sure he wasn't just kidding?"

Plenty of people do that to me at work and my mother is very guilty of this when I tell her stories.

[powerboy]

Blas, I am with you on that. That is one of the reasons that I do not hardly post on CS.com anymore.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I agree with you, Blas. I sometimes find myself posting after a story something like this:

"And for the record, such and such was about 10 minutes late turning up, no he does this every week and he knows the time we close"

I do this just cuz I worry about someone jumping in, say in a topic about customers turning up after ours and saying, "Well, what if he was new to the area and didn't know when you closed?" I shouldn't have to defend my actions when I'm venting. It makes me not want to post. -.-

[smileyeagle1021]

Oh, the worst are the people who will jump in to give the most unrealistic advice possible. It's bad enough when you're posting mainly to vent and someone comes in with the "what if" and "you should" but I do appreciate it if they are at least giving useful advice. I've learned though without fail every time I post a thread to vent there will be at least one person who tells me I should move out of Utah. Well no shit, I've known that for well over a year now that the only way for me to be happy is to get the hell out of this state, that this just isn't the right place for me. Telling me this is only rubbing in the fact that I simply CAN'T. Which is why I never post vents or rants anymore because I'm so sick of people jumping in saying "just move out of Utah" as if it is just an easy everyday thing to move from one state to another.

[Giggle Goose]

I don't vent very much over there anymore...I posted once when I was crushed from a breakup and I was basically berated for things that I had owned up to. That was exactly what I needed!

Another time I vented and told everyone that I KNEW I probably wasn't thinking very rationally at that point, but I was just telling everyone how I felt and I didn't need a lecture. I didn't put it that blunty, though. (I wish I could think of what I said, because it was pretty tactful if I remember correctly)! The replies I got had encouraging words, so I guess it worked! But then again, there were only about 2-3 replies!

[Lace Neil Singer]

That's cuz of the rampant fan boy/girl ism over there. Someone's bland story will get loads of replies if they're one of the forum favourites, but someone's more exciting story might get none if they're unknown.

My stories rarely get more than two pages but then, I know mine are largely bland. XD I just get irritated by customer stupidity a lot.

[DesignFox]

I tend not to post a lot anymore, either. Many of my sucky stories don't get a big response, which I guess isn't unusual- they aren't very exciting.

The few times I've needed to vent in OT, I gotten a fairly supportive response. (thank you! You know who you are!) Occasionally, I've gotten the "well you need counseling" or "you're immature for thinking about this" responses, too, though. I've decided that if I don't want to hear those things, I just won't post about the situation! It's a public forum and everyone is allowed to give their opinions- whether I like them or not.

But, yea I know what you all are talking about. A lot of times if you vent, you don't want to hear that you're being immature. You just want a shoulder to cry on and some contructive criticism if you ask for it. Or, you qualify that you already know you're being irrational, but sometimes you just can't help how you feel.

I hate when friends of mine tell me my feelings are invalid. Just because they are irrational, doesn't make them invalid. It just means I need a chance to let the dam burst so I can think rationally again.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I personally hate it when people say "Oh, you should get therapy", mainly cuz I have an intense distrust of psychiatrists and most doctors, borne from seeing loads of psychiatrists as a teen and being wrongly diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. But a lot of people just trot that out every time and it annoys me. -.-

[DesignFox]

Well, a long time ago I posted some problem or other I was having with my ex, and someone over there suggested therapy sessions. I mean, it's not like we were married and it wasn't a problem that should warrant counseling if we had been. I was just venting.

Honestly, it worked out best when about a year or so after that post we broke up. The same problem kept occurring, and there was no solution for it.

At any rate, I don't post about relationship problems, anymore.

[Rapscallion]

Psst!

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=34921

We put out a news item about this some time ago. If you think you're being picked on unfairly, hit the report button.

Rapscallion

[powerboy]

Oh, the worst are the people who will jump in to give the most unrealistic advice possible. It's bad enough when you're posting mainly to vent and someone comes in with the "what if" and "you should" but I do appreciate it if they are at least giving useful advice.

Yup, same here. Sometimes, I just want to vent or rant about something. If I need help, I will ask for it. If it is not asked, then do not chime in telling me to do this or that.

[Flyndaran]

What's the point of ranting in front of others that probably don't want to hear it? Aren't most forums like public meeting places making a rant like yelling about jock itch in the grocery store?

[blas87]

Most of the time, I usually don't feel that way. I don't post expecting everyone to agree with me or give me sympathy (cuz I know where to get that IRL if I really feel that I need it). I just think there's a few people who just like to stir the pot and always have to dig really deep and cover every single possible base and possibility, even if the member has written their post crystal clear to indiciate what they do know.

I don't feel attacked by any means. Sometimes I just go to read the replies and think "Wtf?"

On the fanboy/girl thing, I agree. Some people take it way too far, and I think we've already been warned by the mods to take it down a notch.....

[guywithashovel]

I just read through the CS thread that Rapscallion linked to. It reminded me of some of the stories I have posted on CS in years gone by. One time, shortly after I first found the site (or one of the old sites that got hacked), I posted a story about a rude truck driver that I had dealt with at work. Long story short, I walked into my store's receiving area and was immediately confronted by a truck driver who was impatient about having his truck unloaded. I was not trained on the powerjacks that we used to unload trucks, so I told him I would have to call someone who was trained on it. He got crappy with me, saying, "I don't have all night, hate to tell ya!" Bear in mind, when I walked into the receiving area that night, I didn't even know there was a truck back there that needed unloaded.

Well, anyways, I posted this on in the CS forums, and I first got a guilt trip about how hard truck drivers' jobs were (from a person whose father worked as a truck driver), and then I got berated for not knowing how to run the powerjacks (when no member of management had ever seen fit to train and license me on them). To top it off, I got lectured on how the truck driver was probably dead tired, and that's why he was tetchy with me.

Now, I often got tired when I was at work. Would that have given me a free ticket to go and berate one of my coworkers who was simply doing the best he could to do his job right? Also, the person who wrote all of this stuff to me acted as though I should have just accepted the truck driver's behavior with grace and dignity.

But yeah, it is kind of unsettling to come to a web site that invites people to vent their work frustrations, only to get patronizing lectures when you accept that inviation. I'm glad the mods have addressed that issue. Kudos.

[blas87]

I'm also very thankful that the mod team is always on top of everything, and the report button is there, although I won't be hitting that button unless I truly feel attacked, aka "Blas you're a fucking immature idiot, grow up!" or something like that, versus just "Well what if this person was tired?"

I personally think there are some posters who really just need to take a step back and stop, or don't get so carried away in their responses.

I see lots of threads regarding "bimbos" and women described who probably look like a lot like me, being stereotyped as total idiots and having accessory pets or act like Paris Hilton. I used to hop in and tell people that hey, not every girl who dresses up and looks nice is as dumb as Jessica Simpson or as self absorbed and attention whore as Paris Hilton, but then I just quit replying to threads like that, and just hold back the urge whenever I see a post similar to that. I don't want to lash out at someone stating an opinion or telling a story. I've also cut back on stories making fun of hicks and local whackjobs where I live, because it has offended some people in the past.

I just wish we could all go back to telling stories of our lives and ranting about our coworkers and giving heartfelt advice without having to cover every single "what if" base and doubt everything the OP writes about.