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My brother (G) and his wife (P) have two children: Z, a 13-year-old boy, and L, an 11-year-old girl. These kids are, I think, already pretty screwed up, and from what I understand, it's only going to get worse.
Let's start way back when Z was born. His mother was extremely over-protective of him (still is, too.) To the point where she wouldn't leave him alone with anyone until he was a couple years old. She didn't work at the time, so there were no babysitters, or daycare, or anything. Z went everywhere with her. If for some reason she had to go somewhere and Z couldn't come, then G stayed with him. Z knew only his parents for the first couple years of his life. Therefore, when P finally did relent slightly on her grip on him, and let him stay with my parents and I for a few day, the kid SCREAMED for HOURS for his mother. There was absolutely no consoling him. He got better as he got older, but seriously, I remember the first time he spent the night alone with us, and it was bad.
Fast forward to today. P hasn't changed much. Yes, she has let both the kids stay with my parents and I a few times in the past...but not very often. It'd usually be something like 3-4 days during the summer, once a year. I don't think she allows the kids to go to any sleep-overs with their friends either (but they can host sleep-overs as long as P is around to supervise.) Lately, even the 3-4 days we'd get the kids for the summer has stopped; we haven't had them on their own for probably 2 or 3 years now.
The kids are weird when their parents are around. Z isn't so bad, but L is really, REALLY clingy to her mom. Like, she literally clings to her mother's arm and won't let go unless she needs to go to the bathroom or something. Both of the kids are also very quiet when they're with their parents. They're better when the parents aren't around. They open up a lot more and talk and play like normal kids. When their parents are around, they act really scared, like they're going to get in trouble for putting one toe out of line. All they do is huddle around their parents, and won't interact with anyone else.
Example of the extreme: Kids were staying with my parents and I for a few days in the summer a couple years ago. Z really likes video games, and so do I, so we get along pretty well. He's good, too. I had gotten him Super Mario Bros. Melee for Christmas that year and asked him how he liked it. He said he wasn't allowed to play it because it was rated "T" for "Teen" and he was only like 10 or 11 at the time, so his mom wouldn't let him play it. First, I was peeved about that because P never told me she didn't want Z to play the game -- he had played it at our house before, and she never had a problem, and Z loved it, which is why I got it for him. If she didn't want him to have it, she could have told me and I could have taken it back and gotten something else (or given them the receipt to do the same thing.) Anyway, I digress. I told him his mom wasn't around and I was giving him permission to play SSBM if he wanted to. He said he couldn't, that he'd get in trouble. I asked him how? He said his mom would get mad at him. I told him his mom wasn't around, and we wouldn't tell her. He said L would tell on him. Now, at this moment, L was out shopping with my mom (they went clothes shopping) and they weren't going to be back for a couple of hours. I told Z this. He STILL wouldn't play with me, he was so scared his mom was going to find out and get mad at him.
P is getting sicker more recently, I think, too. G, P, Z and L were visiting my parents this past weekend. My parents' house has 4 bedrooms, and since none of us kids live there anymore, they essentially have 3 spare bedrooms. Plus extra space to set up air mattresses if need be. Despite this, P and G always insist that the two kids sleep in the same bedroom as them, on the floor.
Well, the bedroom they stayed in this weekend has another bedroom right across the hall from it. So P and G reluctantly agreed to let L sleep in the second bedroom, but still wanted Z to sleep on the floor in their room. It was HOT in Wisconsin over the weekend, and they insist on sleeping with the bedroom door closed (so the kids won't get away from them in the middle of the night) so it was going to be sweltering in that room with three people and no air circulation. My mom finally convinced Z that sleeping in the third bedroom in the basement would be more comfortable. P again reluctantly agreed, asking Z numerous times, "Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself? Do you want me to sleep with you? Are you sure you don't want to just sleep with us?" Z and my mom finally convinced her that Z would be fine.
My mom got a fan out for Z, too, but it wasn't working right, so she had to take part of it apart to get to the blades. It was one of those circular fans on a stand that has two guards, front and back, around the blades to protect them. She had to take the front guard off to get the blades spinning. And once she got it started, she didn't want to turn it off, 'cuz it might not turn back on. But she also didn't want to put the guard back on, while it was running. So she put the fan in the corner of the room and just told Z not to touch it. He's 13, he knows better anyway. He's not a dumb kid. And the fan blades were bendy plastic. Anyway, as soon as P found out about this, she forbade him from having the fan in the room. She turned it off, unplugged it, and moved it out the room, because it was too dangerous for her little baby. She also insisted that my mom find a nightlight to put on the nightstand next to Z's bed. He's 13, for pete's sake!
Last but not least, P confided in my mom that she is never, ever going to let her kids out of her sight. As in...they're never allowed to go anywhere with their friends without her (no sleepovers, no movies, no group activities unless she's along to chaperon)...not allowed to date, period, even if she is with them...never allowed to move out of the house. Yes, that's right. She doesn't want them to move out of the house when they get older.
I think she's psychotic. G just goes along with her and occasionally encourages her, although P is the real force behind most of this. Not wanting to let your kids move out of the house? WTF? My boyfriend said it sounds like a case for CPS. Whatever it is, I hope those kids aren't scarred for life yet, but at this rate I dunno how they won't be.
Let's start way back when Z was born. His mother was extremely over-protective of him (still is, too.) To the point where she wouldn't leave him alone with anyone until he was a couple years old. She didn't work at the time, so there were no babysitters, or daycare, or anything. Z went everywhere with her. If for some reason she had to go somewhere and Z couldn't come, then G stayed with him. Z knew only his parents for the first couple years of his life. Therefore, when P finally did relent slightly on her grip on him, and let him stay with my parents and I for a few day, the kid SCREAMED for HOURS for his mother. There was absolutely no consoling him. He got better as he got older, but seriously, I remember the first time he spent the night alone with us, and it was bad.
Fast forward to today. P hasn't changed much. Yes, she has let both the kids stay with my parents and I a few times in the past...but not very often. It'd usually be something like 3-4 days during the summer, once a year. I don't think she allows the kids to go to any sleep-overs with their friends either (but they can host sleep-overs as long as P is around to supervise.) Lately, even the 3-4 days we'd get the kids for the summer has stopped; we haven't had them on their own for probably 2 or 3 years now.
The kids are weird when their parents are around. Z isn't so bad, but L is really, REALLY clingy to her mom. Like, she literally clings to her mother's arm and won't let go unless she needs to go to the bathroom or something. Both of the kids are also very quiet when they're with their parents. They're better when the parents aren't around. They open up a lot more and talk and play like normal kids. When their parents are around, they act really scared, like they're going to get in trouble for putting one toe out of line. All they do is huddle around their parents, and won't interact with anyone else.
Example of the extreme: Kids were staying with my parents and I for a few days in the summer a couple years ago. Z really likes video games, and so do I, so we get along pretty well. He's good, too. I had gotten him Super Mario Bros. Melee for Christmas that year and asked him how he liked it. He said he wasn't allowed to play it because it was rated "T" for "Teen" and he was only like 10 or 11 at the time, so his mom wouldn't let him play it. First, I was peeved about that because P never told me she didn't want Z to play the game -- he had played it at our house before, and she never had a problem, and Z loved it, which is why I got it for him. If she didn't want him to have it, she could have told me and I could have taken it back and gotten something else (or given them the receipt to do the same thing.) Anyway, I digress. I told him his mom wasn't around and I was giving him permission to play SSBM if he wanted to. He said he couldn't, that he'd get in trouble. I asked him how? He said his mom would get mad at him. I told him his mom wasn't around, and we wouldn't tell her. He said L would tell on him. Now, at this moment, L was out shopping with my mom (they went clothes shopping) and they weren't going to be back for a couple of hours. I told Z this. He STILL wouldn't play with me, he was so scared his mom was going to find out and get mad at him.
P is getting sicker more recently, I think, too. G, P, Z and L were visiting my parents this past weekend. My parents' house has 4 bedrooms, and since none of us kids live there anymore, they essentially have 3 spare bedrooms. Plus extra space to set up air mattresses if need be. Despite this, P and G always insist that the two kids sleep in the same bedroom as them, on the floor.
Well, the bedroom they stayed in this weekend has another bedroom right across the hall from it. So P and G reluctantly agreed to let L sleep in the second bedroom, but still wanted Z to sleep on the floor in their room. It was HOT in Wisconsin over the weekend, and they insist on sleeping with the bedroom door closed (so the kids won't get away from them in the middle of the night) so it was going to be sweltering in that room with three people and no air circulation. My mom finally convinced Z that sleeping in the third bedroom in the basement would be more comfortable. P again reluctantly agreed, asking Z numerous times, "Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself? Do you want me to sleep with you? Are you sure you don't want to just sleep with us?" Z and my mom finally convinced her that Z would be fine.
My mom got a fan out for Z, too, but it wasn't working right, so she had to take part of it apart to get to the blades. It was one of those circular fans on a stand that has two guards, front and back, around the blades to protect them. She had to take the front guard off to get the blades spinning. And once she got it started, she didn't want to turn it off, 'cuz it might not turn back on. But she also didn't want to put the guard back on, while it was running. So she put the fan in the corner of the room and just told Z not to touch it. He's 13, he knows better anyway. He's not a dumb kid. And the fan blades were bendy plastic. Anyway, as soon as P found out about this, she forbade him from having the fan in the room. She turned it off, unplugged it, and moved it out the room, because it was too dangerous for her little baby. She also insisted that my mom find a nightlight to put on the nightstand next to Z's bed. He's 13, for pete's sake!
Last but not least, P confided in my mom that she is never, ever going to let her kids out of her sight. As in...they're never allowed to go anywhere with their friends without her (no sleepovers, no movies, no group activities unless she's along to chaperon)...not allowed to date, period, even if she is with them...never allowed to move out of the house. Yes, that's right. She doesn't want them to move out of the house when they get older.
I think she's psychotic. G just goes along with her and occasionally encourages her, although P is the real force behind most of this. Not wanting to let your kids move out of the house? WTF? My boyfriend said it sounds like a case for CPS. Whatever it is, I hope those kids aren't scarred for life yet, but at this rate I dunno how they won't be.
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