Relationship preferences

[guywithashovel]

I thought about this as I was reading through Broomjockey's TPS thread. It's sorta related, though not entirely.

Sometimes in life and on the Internet I'll read and hear remarks from women about how they prefer tall guys for relationships. Okay, fair enough. However, I also notice a lot of women complaining about men not wanting women who are fat, dorky, not blonde, not big busted, etc.

If they can prefer tall guys, then why can't men also have preferences regarding physical traits?

I'm not bringing this up to bash women, either. In fact, from looking around, I would wager that most women probably don't do this, granted how many times I have seen women hooked up with guys who are not tall, not physically fit, etc.

Still, it's something that kind of stands out to me.

[AFPheonix]

It really goes both ways. It's just people who want to date higher class people than they are, thinking that's what they deserve when frankly they just don't have nearly as much to offer.

[Boozy]

Eventually, the population sorts themselves. You usually see good-looking men with good-looking women, and plain men with plain women. On occasion, you see a beautiful woman with a not-so beautiful man. That usually means he's powerful, charismatic, rich, or a combination of all three.

So rarely do I see gorgeous men with not-so-attractive women.

[AdminAssistant]

Well, I have my 'preferred' stats - a little taller than me, but not too tall. Short hair. No piercings or highly visible tats. Non-smoker. Geeky. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't date someone who didn't fit the criteria. BT was actually a bit shorter than me and a smoker. But we meshed so well in so many other areas that it worked out. The height thing was a little awkward when we were out, mostly because I like to wear heels when I dress up. And the smoking was a tad annoying, but not nearly so much as one particular *ahem* side effect - but that wasn't a deal breaker either. None of my 'deal breakers' are related to physical appearance. I only have a few: is a total freakin' asshole, does drugs (nothing is less appealing to me than a stoner), extremely juvenile sense of humor. But that's just me.

[blas87]

I have my preferences, and they probably won't change for several more years.

They are what they are.

[Nyoibo]

I don't really seem to have a preference, I've fallen for all sorts... well 3 but they were all completely different.

Now if I can find someone who'se preference fits me I'll be happy.

[linguist]

i don't think it's a bad thing to have preferences for certain physical traits. i do think, however, that you do yourself a disservice for automatically excluding anyone who doesn't meet those criteria. you could be passing up something great and never know it. case in point, my wife and i. she's fairly tall, and i'm only of average height for a guy. at just a hair under 5'11", i am taller than her, but just. in heels she towers over me. prior to me, she'd only ever dated guys who were over 6'. for my part, i have a particular soft spot for redheads. prior to my wife, everyone i'd ever been involved in a long-term relationship with was a redhead (ok, one was a bottle redhead, but it still counts). if either of us had decided not to bother with the other because we didn't meet each other's physical preferences, than we never would have fallen in love and gotten married, and both our lives would be very different.

wait, it just occurred to me, my wife has red highlights...does that count?

[smileyeagle1021]

It really goes both ways. It's just people who want to date higher class people than they are, thinking that's what they deserve when frankly they just don't have nearly as much to offer.

and then there are the people like me where I've been told I underrate myself...

I'll be honest, I am genuinely shocked every time someone says I'm an attractive person, because I honestly can't see it... which is why I resist the temptation to define a 'type' that I'm into, because I'll be damned grateful for anyone who can find me attractive.
That said, if I could get myself the geeky/dorky looking guy, either eastern or southern European or latin decent, and an accent helps (think Anton Yelchin or Michael Cera or Shia LaBeouf or Alan Tudyk or Fran Kranz or... well you get the idea )
My mother did have one good lesson to teach me (despite all her bad lessons), never turn down Mr. Right Now because you are looking for Mr. Right because you never know when the two people are going to be the same.

[anriana]

and then there are the people like me where I've been told I underrate myself...

I'll be honest, I am genuinely shocked every time someone says I'm an attractive person, because I honestly can't see it... which is why I resist the temptation to define a 'type' that I'm into, because I'll be damned grateful for anyone who can find me attractive.
That said, if I could get myself the geeky/dorky looking guy, either eastern or southern European or latin decent, and an accent helps (think Anton Yelchin or Michael Cera or Shia LaBeouf or Alan Tudyk or Fran Kranz or... well you get the idea )
My mother did have one good lesson to teach me (despite all her bad lessons), never turn down Mr. Right Now because you are looking for Mr. Right because you never know when the two people are going to be the same.

Shia Lebouf has an accent?

I thought about this as I was reading through Broomjockey's TPS thread. It's sorta related, though not entirely.

Sometimes in life and on the Internet I'll read and hear remarks from women about how they prefer tall guys for relationships. Okay, fair enough. However, I also notice a lot of women complaining about men not wanting women who are fat, dorky, not blonde, not big busted, etc.

If they can prefer tall guys, then why can't men also have preferences regarding physical traits?

I'm not bringing this up to bash women, either. In fact, from looking around, I would wager that most women probably don't do this, granted how many times I have seen women hooked up with guys who are not tall, not physically fit, etc.

Still, it's something that kind of stands out to me.

Are these the same women?

It really goes both ways. It's just people who want to date higher class people than they are, thinking that's what they deserve when frankly they just don't have nearly as much to offer.

What does height have to do with class?

[BroomJockey]

What does height have to do with class?

Generalities, ma'am. Generalities. The quoted text was not meant to refer to specific qualities, but the attitudes of those espousing a desire for said qualities.

[DesignFox]

I think it's only natural for people to have preferences when it comes to a partner.

When it comes to physical attraction, everyone's going to prefer certain traits. The only time there is a "problem" I guess is when you write people off based solely on their physical qualities.

I tend to be attracted to really tall guys. Doesn't mean I haven't crushed on at least one guy that wasn't more than a foot taller than I am...but I seem to end up dating all the really tall ones! (I'm 5' tall exactly. Current SO is 6' 4"!)

Don't know what it is about the big guys, I just find that really attractive.

Deal breakers for me have little to do with a person's physical traits, and more with his habits and personality. For me, smoking is a big deal breaker. I have terrible allergies and a very sensitive nose. Smoking is an instant turn-off. Not something I could ever get past.

Drug use is another No-No. Sorry. I never tried drugs. I don't want to to try drugs. I won't date someone who is actively doing drugs.

Alcoholic? Deal-breaker.

Don't want to support my love of horses? Deal-Breaker.

Now if a guy is flat out gross...well. Sorry. Poor personal hygiene is a big deal-breaker.

Initially, I may not be physically attracted to a guy. But a lot of times personality can sway that opinion. (I've dated one or two goofy looking guys )

[Greenday]

Why is it all girls prefer taller guys?

[Cats]

Why is it all girls prefer taller guys?

My guess is it's just sort of a natual thing we're used to. I mean, the average male height IS greater than the average female, so I suppose it's more a familiarity thing than anything else.

Even if some women did prefer short guys, unless you were a tall female anyway, it would be HARDER to find a shorter guy than a taller one, generally speaking.


I've seen guys prefer females that were shorter anyway, so it goes both ways.

[Greenday]

My guess is it's just sort of a natual thing we're used to. I mean, the average male height IS greater than the average female, so I suppose it's more a familiarity thing than anything else.

Even if some women did prefer short guys, unless you were a tall female anyway, it would be HARDER to find a shorter guy than a taller one, generally speaking.


I've seen guys prefer females that were shorter anyway, so it goes both ways.

Either way doesn't make sense to me. As long as the height difference isn't extreme, it doesn't matter. I mean, I've heard girls say because if the guy isn't taller, then the difference in height doesn't allow for certain things. But isn't the difference in height the same if the woman is 5'8" and the guy is 5'5" than if the woman is 5'5" and the guy is 5'8"?

[Boozy]

I don't really like taller than average guys. About 5'9 is perfect for me. I don't like it when guys tower over me.