But you HAVE to like him, he's mentally handicapped

[ArcticChicken]

Has anyone else run across this attitude that just because someone has a mental handicap, you are morally obligated to like them and enjoy spending time with them?

Seriously, I'll give that person more leeway than I would any other adult, but that's not going to change the fact that interacting with someone who'll never progress beyond the mental age of seven irritates me. I don't like interacting with seven year olds either, but that doesn't make me evil.

[Boozy]

You can reasonably be expected to give a mentally-challenged adult more leeway, as you put it. Such as allowing them a little more time to do things without losing your patience.

But of course you can't be expected to like everyone you meet. I know a number of people with mental handicaps, and I do like them -- but they aren't my first choice of friends to hang out with on a Saturday night. We just don't have anything in common.

I don't think people realize it, but the attitude that the mentally-handicapped are inherently and without exception loveable is insulting. They aren't teddy bears, they're human beings -- with all the faults and personality defects that you or I can have.

We tell ourselves otherwise because it makes us feel better. People will say, "They'll never have a normal life, and that's tragic....but they've been gifted with a perpetual child-like innocence, so that's okay. I don't have to feel uncomfortable, guilty, or awkward about their handicap if I believe that they are my spiritual better." But this attitude really doesn't do anything to help the handicapped person. It only serves to make them seem less human.

[Cat]

You shouldn't *have* to like anyone.

For a perosnal example....my brother. He is bipolar, he beat the crap out of me growing up ('rents did nadda because they didnt want to get hit or deal with him)

He is incappable of living on his own, he makes Forrest Gump look like Stephen Hawkin. He has no real friends. He has no real job (works for my father some how) He does not try to better himself in anyway. In short, my family would be better off if he were in a "home."


Will I like him merely due to his mental status? Nope, never.


sorry for the rant and if it sounded cruel.

( I am also not saying bipolar is a handicapp....I am sure my brother has some other mental disability that I haven't been told about. Bipolar is the only one I was made aware of)

[blas87]

I'll repeat what was already said: You don't have to like anyone.

If everyone were required to have that kind of attitude about mentally handicapped people, then obviously I would have had to have been ok with my mentally retarded neighbor trying to get into my apartment, and I would have had to let him in. If I had dared call the police, I wouldn't be allowed to press charges and the cops wouldn't have to come.

I may come across as rude saying this, but I think a lot of mentally handicapped people do know obvious rights from wrongs. I think my neighbor doesn't have the mental capacity to understand that peeking out his window and chasing down his neighbors to chat with him, that it's very creepy and awkward and a little wrong to spy on people and invade privacy. But at the same time, I will bet a week's paycheck that he DOES know that it's wrong to try to let yourself into someone's home without their permission.

[BroomJockey]

But at the same time, I will bet a week's paycheck that he DOES know that it's wrong to try to let yourself into someone's home without their permission.

At the same time, even if he didn't, is that because he's handicapped, or because people just never took the time to say "look, you can't do that." Some people just have a tendency to let behaviours slide in cases where there's an "excuse." They'll say "oh, he doesn't know any better, he's mentally handicapped" (you see the same thing in saying "kids will be kids")

Uh, they might be a little slow to pick up new things, and theoretical physics might be beyond them, but they're still people. They can and they do learn. Given that, you don't need to just "put up with" anything, and you don't need to "like someone just because they're handicapped." Peoples be peoples, yo, and not everyone be a hater, but 'cha don't need to hang with those who harsh your chill.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Not to mention the fact that there are just as many arseholes among the disabled and handicapped as there are among the able bodied. Having a disability to some people is just an excuse to throw their weight around, demand freebies and be a total pest to everyone. I'm sorry if that sounds intolerant, but it's true.

[BroomJockey]

I'm sorry if that sounds intolerant, but it's true.

I don't think it sounds intolerant. You're admitting they're people too. They have their share of bad eggs in their group, same as any other group. They're not jerks because they're handicapped, they're jerks because they're jerks.

[Flyndaran]

The world is even more confusing to the slow. To cover up the bad apples, is to insult all those that work hard to live in society and are nice every day.

[DrFaroohk]

Not to mention the fact that there are just as many arseholes among the disabled and handicapped as there are among the able bodied. Having a disability to some people is just an excuse to throw their weight around, demand freebies and be a total pest to everyone. I'm sorry if that sounds intolerant, but it's true.

Especially those ones whose handicap is like a hangnail or something. "oh look at me I have a slight tingling sensation in my knee, you have to give me free stuff now and respect."

[DesignFox]

You don't *have* to like anyone. Period.

Being mentally disabled doesn't get someone a free pass in life.

It used to drive me nuts that one of my dad's ex's used to treat her mentally handicapped daughter this way. She acted like her daughter didn't know right from wrong and basically babied her.

Trust me. This kid new her basic manners. She just pushed the envelope a lot because she knew that for some reason she could get away with it and her (not disabled) siblings couldn't.

The best example I can imagine is when I was a teen and our families went out to eat pizza. The disabled child was sticking her dirty greasy fingers all over me at the table. When I firmly, but nicely requested she stop, she continued trying to smear grease on me. I finally firmly (not roughly) grabbed her hands and got the tone in my voice.

The little girl at that point stopped pawing at me. Her mother yelled at me for speaking to her daughter that way and made excuses like, "oh she doesn't know better. You know she has a disability. Blah blah blah."

No. Sorry. She *does* know better. She may be developmentally delayed, but that doesn't mean she's stupid or incapable of learning.

Whoa. Sorry for the rant.

[Nyoibo]

Peoples be peoples, yo, and not everyone be a hater, but 'cha don't need to hang with those who harsh your chill.

Don't you ever do that again.

[blas87]

In all reality, I think that anyone ignorant enough to think that mentally handicapped people "don't know any better" are worse than people who don't necessarily care to associate with or don't have much patience for mentally handicapped people.

It may be one thing if the person in question is so mentally incapacitated that they can't even chew food or go to the bathroom by themselves, but with Forrest Gump slow people......they are just that, slow. Just like my neighbor. They can feed themselves, they can live alone, they can drive cars and have jobs....and anyone ignorant enough to think that someone with a mental handicap isn't smart enough to know how to manipulate or play a card......again, people that ignorant might as well be living in La La Land.

[BroomJockey]

don't you ever do that again.

0|<, 3y3 \/\/0|\|'7.

[Flyndaran]

Forest Gump was never even remotely realistic. He supposedly was barely retarded, but was able to do many things normal or even near geniuses couldn't.

[Nyoibo]

0|<, 3y3 \/\/0|\|'7.

That's cheating.