You're not all that / she's too hot for you.

[HEMI6point1]

I dunno about anyone else, but I can't view your profile anymore without registering, which, obviously, I'm not gonna do.

Maybe just copy and paste your text here?

I deleted my old profile and started fresh. I replaced the old link with the new one.

[ArenaBoy]

A philosophy that my best friend has instilled in me:

"Personality is the most important, looks are a plus."

I've seen guys with girls who in theory are way out of said guy's league and vice versa. I've found those who said anything along those lines to be stuck in high school.

[Flyndaran]

A philosophy that my best friend has instilled in me:

"Personality is the most important, looks are a plus."

I've seen guys with girls who in theory are way out of said guy's league and vice versa. I've found those who said anything along those lines to be stuck in high school.

I've seen ugly guys with hot women, but never the other way around.
I've also heard the expression that men fall in love with the one he's attracted to, while women are attracted to the one she falls in love with. As a very general rule I agree with that.

[LeChatNoir]

My advice is just don't give up. You've received a lot of useful constructive criticism regarding your profile, so I don't really have much to add to that. I will say that my husband and I met online. On okcupid.com in fact. At the point that I met him, I wasn't trying to meet anyone in particular. Mostly I was farting around on that site, taking quizzes and whatnot, and along came Scott. The rest is history. So, it CAN happen. Sometimes it just takes a while. Don't get discouraged, and if you find yourself feeling that way, maybe take a step back and take a "break" from the online dating scene. Don't get too worked up over deleted messages or outright rejections...it's going to happen no matter how perfect your profile is.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I've seen ugly guys with hot women, but never the other way around.
I've also heard the expression that men fall in love with the one he's attracted to, while women are attracted to the one she falls in love with. As a very general rule I agree with that.

Oh, I have. I can see the wisdom in your saying, and there is at least some truth to it. But I have seen very attractive men with plainer women. Beauty is in the eye, and all that.

I won't say "ugly" I really don't often see people (male or female) as truly "ugly". I mean, I have on occasion but they have be seriously, seriously homely before it registers.

[Slytovhand]

I was once interested in a girl who was only after a guy with big shoulders and arms (which I don't have). I pointed out to her, "hat takes about 6 months of gym, protein powders and excercise.. the same can't be said about personality". Result? She wanted to get to know me better!

(of course, now she's married, or getting married, to a guy with big shoulders and arms... and it isn't me... oh well....)

Different people are after different things.. (I can't access PoF from here...), but - did you actually read their profiles? Were they people whom it would be realistic that you could get along? I find it completely pointless to approach someone (or get an 'interested' from) when they obviously haven't read my profile, or has nothing that interests me about them...

[Flyndaran]

Oh, I have. I can see the wisdom in your saying, and there is at least some truth to it. But I have seen very attractive men with plainer women. Beauty is in the eye, and all that.

I won't say "ugly" I really don't often see people (male or female) as truly "ugly". I mean, I have on occasion but they have be seriously, seriously homely before it registers.

I have no problem with labeling someone ugly, because of your first point. Ugly bodies are only skin deep, while ugly personalities go deeper than bone.
I have severe anxiety, so I have no problem labeling myself mentally ill.
I don't like political correctness destroying the edges of language.

[smileyeagle1021]

And another thing to bear in mind about dating....as soon as you put it in the back of your mind and quit thinking about it so much, things tend to happen.

Blas, you have no idea how true that is... I've always found that it's when you stop looking that things will end up finding you.
Also as a piece of advice to the OP, you might want to try doing some things that are out of character... try messaging the girl you normally wouldn't be attracted to, or who is a little bit further out than you'd normally be willing to go, or has described her ideal as being a little bit different than you... I can speak from experience when I say that doing that cane work out
I mean, I spent a weekend in San Fran with an amazing guy who I would have normally thought was way out of my league because one night while bored at work I saw a post on a message board asking if any bay area insomniacs wanted to chat and I sent a message saying I wasn't in the bay area, but I was certainly an insomniac... which also goes back to what blas was saying... I wasn't looking for a date or anything like that, I was just looking to chat and that's where it ended up... and that really was out of character for me... normally I would have just looked at it and said "oh well, I"m not in the bay area, I'll move on"

A philosophy that my best friend has instilled in me:

"Personality is the most important, looks are a plus."

your friend sounds very wise

I have no problem with labeling someone ugly, because of your first point. Ugly bodies are only skin deep, while ugly personalities go deeper than bone.

once again, someone nails it on the head. I once had a guy who was... well, I think he qualified as a stalker by the end. I was very blunt with him at one point in time... he asked if I wasn't interested because I thought he was ugly... and I said "I do think you are ugly, but that's not why I'm not interested... I'm not interested because you are a compulsive liar, all you have done when I'm around you is try to impress me with how much money you claim to have and what nice cars you have, and all the techno toys you have... and while I like all those things, I'm somewhat insulted that you think I'd be more interested in the toys you own rather than who you are... and to be honest, I'm not sure if you are anything more than the toys you own anymore"

And some advice to the OP (these are all my personal takes, feel free to ignore them at will)- on the pictures... the one thing that kind of stuck out to me is that your profile says you are 27, but in most of the pictures I'd be carding you to buy alcohol, maybe add at least one picture in a more professional setting (wearing maybe a suit or even a button down shirt and khakis or something like that). If I were writing the profile I'd 86 the sentence "Asking others for advice on how to phrase things always gets you conflicting advice. Some say to be detailed, others say don’t be revealing too soon. It seems the only way to handle it is to post what I think describes me best." It seems out of place and shifts attention away from you and what you are looking for. I like that you've already broadened it out a little bit and toned it down a little bit, which does make it a lot more readable than some of the quotes that were posted earlier. One thing I will say though quite strongly, you have pictures... adding the part about your appearance is at best a waste of space and at worst sounds like you aren't confident enough about your appearance to let the pictures speak for themselves and you feel the need to defend yourself.

[smileyeagle1021]

Leagues exist for a reason. Most people like to date those of equal appearance. It's not wrong or weird.

As a complete tangent, be grateful for being straight and only looking at appearance... one thing I've noticed with gay couples is that the ones who are open enough to tell you both partners *ahem* size, I've heard a lot are right about the same size, like within an inch... probably for the same reason as equal appearance... people are naturally very aware of their appearance and being with someone who looks a lot better than them (or bigger than them, in that department) reminds them every day of all their shortcomings (umm... that pun is unavoidable).
So basically, what I'm saying, is that leagues are just as much enforced by the less attractive person as the more attractive person.

[Ree]

I got a message from a guy too old for me, delete. An ugly guy, delete. A fat guy, delete. A guy with a kid/kids, delete. Same thing I'd do outside of the internet.

Of course, that makes me a picky, stuck up bitch for not wanting to waste anyone's time, but I don't really care if that's what people want to think.

That's kind of sad.

I guess people have specific tastes, but shallow sometimes means people are so busy looking at the wrapping they miss what's inside.

If I had done that, I would have missed 23 years with a really fantastic guy.

He was younger than me, had a few extra pounds, not the best teeth in the world, and was pretty average looking when we met. I could have held out for a flashy diamond I guess, but I took my little lump of coal and it turned out to be a diamond in the centre.

Oh well, to each his/her own, I guess.

As to the OP...I think you need to look at the pictures you have up and take a really good look at your profile.

It's pretty long. Maybe they don't want to wade through it.

Are you actually using the site's matching suggestions, or are you skimming and picking?

Read their preferences. Do you really fit their ideal?
Are they into partying, or are they really looking for something more than casual?

It may have nothing to do with being in a certain league, and more to do with the fact that you are just picking the wrong girls.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I have no problem with labeling someone ugly, because of your first point. Ugly bodies are only skin deep, while ugly personalities go deeper than bone.
I have severe anxiety, so I have no problem labeling myself mentally ill.
I don't like political correctness destroying the edges of language.

I'm not trying to be politically correct. I honestly tend to see what is attractive about people instead of what isn't. I don't see that many physically "ugly" people around me.

I like people with character in their looks, I find that attractive.

[guywithashovel]

A couple of years ago, I found out the hard way how frustrating these online dating sites can be. It's very easy to join one thinking that it's going to help you out with finding someone suited for you. Sometimes they do that, don't get me wrong. But I think that, more often than not, they don't.

I have found that people on those sites tend to get very picky, so it's probably best to try not to take it too personally if person after person closes communication with you. However, I fully realize how hard that can be. I got a little depressed myself when it happened to me, and I even went through a couple of days when I felt like a total troll (that probably sounds silly to those of you with thicker skin, I'm sure).

I did end up having a little bit of luck with it, though. I had a few email correspondences and I even met one girl for coffee, though nothing ever came of it. My sister, however, joined the exact same site and ended up marrying the first guy she got matched with. I've been entertaining thoughts about trying it again.

On a side note, I really wish the members of these sites who are on there "just to meet some friends to hang out with" would get off and stop wasting everyone's time. I'm not the kind of person who will rush things, but I'm not going to play dumb and act like I'm not looking for a long term relationship that will lead to marriage.

[Flyndaran]

I'm not trying to be politically correct. I honestly tend to see what is attractive about people instead of what isn't. I don't see that many physically "ugly" people around me.

I like people with character in their looks, I find that attractive.

Well then, good for you. I mean it. I just have a scale of appearance with most people falling in the average, and only some being attractive, and some being unattractive. A few beautiful, and a few ugly.

[Red_Dazes]

I don't get the issue with the car pics. If it was a Camaro or something I could see the "trying to be macho" thing but it's a Sable. Not exactly what I was trying to do in the pics.

I heard a few weeks ago about a poll that the online dating sites did on what turns women off to a mans profile... I think #2 was "Pictures posing with cars" reasons being -came off shallow -trying to hard to impress ..etc Not that all guys who pose with their cars are trying to do/be any thing like that. #4 was the same thing but with TV's, Sound Systems, Computers etc.

Personally I think some pictures with you dressed up a little (not fancy... just maybe a nice dinner out fit) would add some class. It might sound shallow, but I like seeing that men can look nice too. ^_^ That's what sold me on my Beau, first time I got to see him in a tux.

As for the "too good for you" ..."Not your type" bs. Don't mind them. I have rarely seen any relationships of people I know personally where both people were the same "type" ^_^ Keep your chin up and keep trying!

[smileyeagle1021]

As for the "too good for you" ..."Not your type" bs. Don't mind them. I have rarely seen any relationships of people I know personally where both people were the same "type" ^_^ Keep your chin up and keep trying!

oh so very true... as someone who has before hooked up way outside of my league I know it is possible to go outside your league/type... I also know that it's kind of overrated. In relationships and even in hookups if there is any meaning to them whatsoever (it is possible... friendsex does have some meaning to it) type and league stop mattering, the person you're with does.