Door to Door Religion

[lupo pazzesco]

I was going to post this on CS, but I think it would've gone downhill quickly, so I'm erring on the side of caution

This isn't a rant about any specific religion, per se, it's more against those who share the word despite it being blatantly obvious they aren't necessarily welcome.

Example: Today is the ONLY day I get to sleep in this week. I've been getting up at 4 am on weekdays, 5 am on weekends to get into to work on time, and today is the first day I have off. I'm sleeping. There's a knock on my door. It's two women, who want to "show me the joy that is God"

I say no. And tell them to get off the apartment property, since it's very clearly and explicitly stated EVERYWHERE that there are no solicitors allowed anywhere in the apartment complex. Even if a girl scout lived here, she couldn't sell cookies door to door. Period, end of story. That's part of the draw for my signing a lease here in the first place. Blessed, peaceful existence in my little one room box on the corner, with only the occasional neighbor flare-up. And none of those fliers that get strewn everywhere for pizza, burgers, cable TV, church, better places to live, etc, etc, ad infinitum.

Upon my telling them there was no soliciting allowed, they respond by telling me that they aren't solicitors.

My response? "You're trying to sell me your religion, aren't you? Thus, soliciting, thus not adhering to the No Solicitation signs, thus, I get to call authorities on you. Yay me!"

"But we're not soliciting!"

"So, you think because you're trying to sell me on your God, you're above the rules? Right. Check. Gotcha. Whatever, go away."

I shut the door in their faces, and immediately called the leasing office, because, as per the lease I signed, I'm entitled to have the No Solicitation enforced to better enhance my living experience.

Except, now that I'm awake, I can't go back to sleep. Grr. Cranky.

[blas87]

They bug me, too.

And they got smarter....now they come earlier, an hour or so before I go to bed or right when I just get home from overtime......

I don't even know it's them, I haven't a peephole.

[lupo pazzesco]

I have a peephole, but it doesn't exactly do any good, really, if they stand off to the side (which they do!)

I'm just irritable because I'm tired, and I want to sleep, but can't. So now I have to drag my ass around to start the day. Meh...

[blas87]

I feel your pain, even if you weren't tired, it's still so rude and obnoxious.

I love how they think they are exempt from "No Soliciting" places, because what they are doing is for God.......

[protege]

Ah, the solicitors...

You could always use the approach my late grandfather used... That is, he'd tell them he wasn't interested. Most of the time, they'd go away. But, every now and then, he'd get some idiot...who would refuse to leave. How to deal with that? Simple...he'd just ask my grandmother to fetch his shotgun. Worked every time

[guywithashovel]

Many of the people who do this have it in their heads that "No Soliciting" doesn't apply to them because they aren't asking for anyone's money. However, it's a pretty safe bet that if someone puts up a sign on their door that says "No Soliciting," they probaby don't want to be bothered.

Personally, I find this door to door stuff pretty insulting. I have yet to meet someone here in the US who does not know at least the basics about Christianity (I single that religion out because most door to door people are peddling some version of it; I've yet to encounter a door to door Pagan, Buddhist, or anything else). On top of that, it's rarely possible to drive five miles in any direction within city limits and not pass at least one church. I'm pretty sure everyone knows where to go if they want to learn more about the faith.

[smileyeagle1021]

Then there's always the answer that I'm going to use the next time Mormon missionaries come to the door... when I open the door, before they can say anything, with as straight a face as possible say, "oh good, you two must be the strippers I called for"
... either it will scare them off... or, if they are willing to take off their clothes in a seductive way, I might be willing to hear about the good book

[lupo pazzesco]

Personally, I find this door to door stuff pretty insulting. I have yet to meet someone here in the US who does not know at least the basics about Christianity (I single that religion out because most door to door people are peddling some version of it; I've yet to encounter a door to door Pagan, Buddhist, or anything else). On top of that, it's rarely possible to drive five miles in any direction within city limits and not pass at least one church. I'm pretty sure everyone knows where to go if they want to learn more about the faith.

THIS!!! EXACTLY!!!

If I wanted to know about a religion, I'd look up the information and go to the specific place of worship myself, thank you very much!

Then there's always the answer that I'm going to use the next time Mormon missionaries come to the door... when I open the door, before they can say anything, with as straight a face as possible say, "oh good, you two must be the strippers I called for"
... either it will scare them off... or, if they are willing to take off their clothes in a seductive way, I might be willing to hear about the good book

<falls over laughing>

Smiley...I <3 you. That made my day. Completely. I'm going to have to remember that one...

[Nyoibo]

Ah, the solicitors...

You could always use the approach my late grandfather used... That is, he'd tell them he wasn't interested. Most of the time, they'd go away. But, every now and then, he'd get some idiot...who would refuse to leave. How to deal with that? Simple...he'd just ask my grandmother to fetch his shotgun. Worked every time

Why do I hear in a southern drawl "Ma, go'n git ma scattergun"? I love it.

Then there's always the answer that I'm going to use the next time Mormon missionaries come to the door... when I open the door, before they can say anything, with as straight a face as possible say, "oh good, you two must be the strippers I called for"
... either it will scare them off... or, if they are willing to take off their clothes in a seductive way, I might be willing to hear about the good book

You know, I think you're on to something, the last 2 I had here were hotties.

[Flyndaran]

The last time anyone came to my door, I gave them the card to my friend's Coven. Funny, they never came back.
After I moved, and a different group came, I simply told them we are atheists. I think my following small talk really confused them. I guess they weren't warned about considerate atheists. It was funny though.

[lupo pazzesco]

To me it's just rude, I think. I mean, my house, my sanctuary, essentially. I don't want anyone coming to my door and trying to tell me about how their life choices are just SO much better than mine, especially at a gawdawful early hour in the morning! So, no, I'm not going to be considerate to you. You're knocking on my door, I've told you no, and you protest that I'm in the wrong. Sorry, no dice.

My mom used to just accept the literature, thank them, and shut the door. Worked fine, until one woman kept coming back repeatedly to ask opinions on the literature. And asked my mom if she knew where she was going when she died. Mama said she was going to heaven, to be with HER mother, whom she lost when she was young. This lady told my mom she wasn't, not unless she knew for sure she was one of the chosen few who actually are going to heaven.

I told my mom about it, and said this is why she needs to get me what I've been asking for for years. I've wanted a life size model skeleton for a while now. I told her I'd prop it in my window, with a sign, reading something like "The Previous Proselytizer" or just straight "No Solicitors! I'm pretty sure most normal people would look twice and decide it's not worth it, and those who knock anyway? Well, they deserve what they get.

She said no dice, which I figured because they're wicked expensive. Although I reminded her I wouldn't be using it solely for frivolous purposes, I'd be using it as a study aid, too! She wasn't convinced...

[AdminAssistant]

Student groups used to come around dorms. I would just pretend I wasn't home. But I heard them arguing with a guy across the hall, until I finally heard him yell, "Look, I'm CATHOLIC, leave me the fuck alone!" *slam*

[tabbyblack13]

I don't have much to deal with this here. Of course my cousin got rid of the Jehovah Witnesses by showing up to the door (when he was under 18) in hunting gear and an empty hard sided rifle case.

There was also a group of Jehovah's going though one of the dorms and encountered one of my friends who is an atheist. When the solicitor told my friend that he was going to hell. He stated "That's the great thing about being atheist is that you go "poof" after dying". Apparently the solicitor got really pissed but was kicked out of the room.

[Cat]

I find hissing and low throaty growls get rid of most people I don't want to deal with

[Lace Neil Singer]

I have a fake skull right by my door that comes in handy when dealing with Jehovah's Witnesses. I tend to grab it and use it as a prop for when I say in my most menacing tone, "Actually, I'm a Satanist." Works every time.