Door to Door Religion

[blas87]

Having a large dog helps.....or a dog that has a real extreme dislike for young men dressed nicely on bicycles.....

[smileyeagle1021]

Having a large dog helps.....or a dog that has a real extreme dislike for young men dressed nicely on bicycles.....

hmmm, young men dressed nicely on bicycles... yummy.... oh... umm... wait... what was the topic again

[Giggle Goose]

Does anyone SERIOUSLY know someone that has immediately converted/dug deeper into a certain sect just because someone came to their DOOR?

What is wrong with people???

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Ah, the solicitors...

You could always use the approach my late grandfather used... That is, he'd tell them he wasn't interested. Most of the time, they'd go away. But, every now and then, he'd get some idiot...who would refuse to leave. How to deal with that? Simple...he'd just ask my grandmother to fetch his shotgun. Worked every time

Yeah, I was gonna say. Back when I lived out in the sticks, I seriously did come to the door with a shotgun. I didn't freaking play around, I lived alone in the woods. Well, more or less alone, my great aunt lived in her own place on the same property.

Conversation with Mormons:

Me:Boys, you can't seriously think I'm gonna open the door and invite two strange men into my home. (this was said through the front window)
Mormons: Oh, you don't have to be afraid of us.
Me: Oh, believe me, I am not afriad of you. (and here I hefted the shotgun stock so they could see it.)
Mormons:
Me: Don't bother the old lady over there, either. She is not as hospitable as I am.

They didn't ever come back.

Oh, and Nyoibo, go ahead and add the southern accent on this shotgun story, too. I have one. "Oh, BLEEVE me, boys, I ain't skeered a' ya." In all honesty, that's probably more or less what it sounded like.

[Boozy]

Does anyone SERIOUSLY know someone that has immediately converted/dug deeper into a certain sect just because someone came to their DOOR?

What is wrong with people???

They don't expect you to convert, although that's a bonus in their minds. Evangelizing is something several religions, including Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons, require of their membership. It's not about our souls, it's about theirs.

[Lace Neil Singer]

For some reason, I see in my mind's eye Homer Simpson opening the door to a pair of space aliens and going, "Oh great, Mormons".

[Flyndaran]

They don't expect you to convert, although that's a bonus in their minds. Evangelizing is something several religions, including Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons, require of their membership. It's not about our souls, it's about theirs.

It makes perfect sense to me to spread what you believe to be the truth. I just don't like those that ignore signs.

[lupo pazzesco]

I just don't like those that ignore signs.

Or those who won't listen when you say no. Or those who tell you your way of believing is wrong, and theirs is right. Or those who feel the need to tell you that if you don't listen and/or change your belief, you're going to hell because god won't love you anymore. Or...

Well, you get the idea.

I've had a few bad experiences with doorstep evangelizing...

[protege]

Yeah, I was gonna say. Back when I lived out in the sticks, I seriously did come to the door with a shotgun. I didn't freaking play around, I lived alone in the woods. Well, more or less alone, my great aunt lived in her own place on the same property.

Grandma's place, wasn't off the beaten path. In fact, it was along a two-laned highway...which saw a fair bit of traffic, because of the coal mines. Well, that, and because the PA/WV border was a few miles away. I always felt safe there, simply because of her farm's location.

At night, it was another story... Even with the mine's "street light" on the corner, it was pretty dark and spooky at night. Dead quiet as well. You could literally hear a pin drop in the house, which was still a good 1/4-mile away. As such, the doors were kept locked.

I'll never forget that one night I was there alone. That night, some idiot tried to break in. No car was visible, and since Grandma's auto accident made the papers...they thought it would be an easy score.

Needless to say, I foiled their plans. Not only did I hear someone attempting to force the front door open, but I literally ran them off. Not content with using the porch light to scare them... I grabbed the pitchfork off the kitchen porch, and went after the bastards

I don't know about you all, but if I see some "crazy redneck" coming after me, screaming and carrying a pitchfork, I'm going to think twice about breaking into their place

Getting back on topic here, most of the door-to-door types were usually polite, and would go away if we told them no. The ones who didn't, usually got messed with. That is, Grandpa would ask for his shotgun, or we'd call the cops. However, there really were some strange ones. They usually got told "Look asshole, I've told you to leave. I have 80 acres to hide bodies...do you think you'd be missed? Get the fuck off my property."

[IDrinkaRum]

Reminds me of a stand-up comedian from many, many, many years ago. (Can't remember his name or I'd try to do a you tube search to see if the routine was there).

Anyways, this guy had the perfect answer to any door-to-door people (either Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, window salesmen, security alarm salesmen, etc.):

"Come on in! I was going to take a bath! Take off your clothes and join me!" (or something really close to that).

He said after a while, no unwanted people stopped by his door anymore.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

For some reason, I see in my mind's eye Homer Simpson opening the door to a pair of space aliens and going, "Oh great, Mormons".

"Peggy, it's the Manger Babies. Ill get rid of them."

Cookies for reference.

[Boozy]

King of the Hill. I like chocolate chip cookies, please.

[smileyeagle1021]

Yeah, RK, that was way too easy... had you left Peggy out it would have been more of a challenge

[guywithashovel]

They don't expect you to convert, although that's a bonus in their minds. Evangelizing is something several religions, including Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons, require of their membership. It's not about our souls, it's about theirs.

This is why I take issue with virtually all forms of religoius witnessing. The vast majority of the time, the people who proselytize to others are doing so for THEIR benefit, not the other person's. They don't really care about helping you improve the quality of your life. They just want to score their magic Jesus points so that ther god will be more likely to let them into his Heaven when they die. Either that, or they just want to exert power over someone else.

[Red_Dazes]

It's not about our souls, it's about theirs.

haha all I could think about was "Those selfish Bas**rds!

... told my friend that he was going to hell. He stated "That's the great thing about being atheist is that you go "poof" after dying".

My friend's fav quote is "but you won't be there right? Sounds like fun to me!"



I finally scared off the Jehovah witnesses that used to come around my mom's place. I have nothing against them but the one lady lived kinda behind my mom, and she just wouldn't leave her alone. Every week she was there pushing pamphlets... and my mom is too nice to tell her to sod off. I was visiting mom one day and this lady pulls up into the drive way. mom says "Oh no!" and I say... let me deal with them.

So I go out and meet her in the drive way. And she starts telling me all about the love of god etc. and I listen very politely. So she keeps going, spurred on by my 'interest' and finally comes to the Apocalypse. She asks me
"What do you think the apocalypse will be like? and How will you prepare yourself?"
And I managed to keep a straight face and say (completely serious),

"Well first I am gonna stock up on all the guns and ammo I can get my hands on cause those Zombies can be a real pain in the ASS when they out number you. Then I'm gonna find a nice secluded place far away and shoot anyone who tries to come knocking. And live out the rest of my days safe while the world burns"

...She thanked me for my time and left.... they have not been back since.