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I was just reading through that old "How Dare You Want to Spawn" thread, and I got to thinking about this.
My uncle James has two daughters, and they are both adults in their mid to late twenties. Now, James has been married three times in his life. He's now married to my aunt Lisa, who is my dad's sister. They have been married since 1993, so it seems that this marriage is going to be the lasting one.
Anyway, because of this, James did not live with his two daughters for most of their childhoods. In fact, he and Lisa have lived together as a childless couple for their whole marriage. Now, James's daughters are grown, and one of his daughters (Amber) is married herself and has two sons, Alex and Cooper.
Both Amber and her sister Shelly make it no secret that they favor Alex over Cooper. A few weekends ago, me, James, and my grandma were visting them, and Cooper had a nasty scratch mark on his face. My grandma asked what had happened, and Amber said that the cat had scratched him. My grandma commented on how awful that was, and expressed sympathy towards Cooper. What did Amber do? She crinkled up her nose and tersely said, "Oh, he had it coming!" Now, Cooper is only about four years old. How in the heck could he have "had it coming?"
Later on that day, we all went out to eat. Amber set Cooper down at the end of our table and ordered NOTHING for him. Instead, she dug a bag of potato chips out of her purse and emptied it in front of Copper (not on a plate, but on the bare table) and then went on to visit with everyone else and play around with Alex, not paying any attention to Cooper. My grandma ended up giving Cooper part of her fish sandwich, and he devoured it, and Amber never even noticed it.
These are the only things I know about, but given the fact that these things happen, I suspect there are other things going on. Granted, they aren't slapping the kid around or anything (not that I know of, anyway; I hope they aren't). But often, being made to feel unloved, uncared for, and inferior to others can be very devastating.
So why did I think about this while reading the "How Dare You Want to Spawn!" thread? Well, Amber and her husband are clearly two people who should not have had kids. At the very least, they should have stopped at Alex (he's the oldest of the two), since they clearly cannot spead their love and attention evenly. I think it's sad that they didn't stop and consider the things that many of the people in the aforementioned thread considered.
And on top of all this, Amber and her sister both bilk money from James every chance they get. While we were visting, each of them would occasionally ask James, "Hey Daddy, let's go out on the porch and have a cigarette." Then they'd go out there for a little bit, and the whole thing would get repeated a little bit later. On the way home, we found out that James had been reduced down to pocket change until his next paycheck went through. He has a pretty good paying job, too.
This is an example of why no one should give anyone any grief over choosing not to have kids. If Amber and her husband had made this choice, it would have been much better for everyone, though I do hate to wish Alex and Cooper out of existence. It's not their fault their parents had poor judgment.
My uncle James has two daughters, and they are both adults in their mid to late twenties. Now, James has been married three times in his life. He's now married to my aunt Lisa, who is my dad's sister. They have been married since 1993, so it seems that this marriage is going to be the lasting one.
Anyway, because of this, James did not live with his two daughters for most of their childhoods. In fact, he and Lisa have lived together as a childless couple for their whole marriage. Now, James's daughters are grown, and one of his daughters (Amber) is married herself and has two sons, Alex and Cooper.
Both Amber and her sister Shelly make it no secret that they favor Alex over Cooper. A few weekends ago, me, James, and my grandma were visting them, and Cooper had a nasty scratch mark on his face. My grandma asked what had happened, and Amber said that the cat had scratched him. My grandma commented on how awful that was, and expressed sympathy towards Cooper. What did Amber do? She crinkled up her nose and tersely said, "Oh, he had it coming!" Now, Cooper is only about four years old. How in the heck could he have "had it coming?"
Later on that day, we all went out to eat. Amber set Cooper down at the end of our table and ordered NOTHING for him. Instead, she dug a bag of potato chips out of her purse and emptied it in front of Copper (not on a plate, but on the bare table) and then went on to visit with everyone else and play around with Alex, not paying any attention to Cooper. My grandma ended up giving Cooper part of her fish sandwich, and he devoured it, and Amber never even noticed it.
These are the only things I know about, but given the fact that these things happen, I suspect there are other things going on. Granted, they aren't slapping the kid around or anything (not that I know of, anyway; I hope they aren't). But often, being made to feel unloved, uncared for, and inferior to others can be very devastating.
So why did I think about this while reading the "How Dare You Want to Spawn!" thread? Well, Amber and her husband are clearly two people who should not have had kids. At the very least, they should have stopped at Alex (he's the oldest of the two), since they clearly cannot spead their love and attention evenly. I think it's sad that they didn't stop and consider the things that many of the people in the aforementioned thread considered.
And on top of all this, Amber and her sister both bilk money from James every chance they get. While we were visting, each of them would occasionally ask James, "Hey Daddy, let's go out on the porch and have a cigarette." Then they'd go out there for a little bit, and the whole thing would get repeated a little bit later. On the way home, we found out that James had been reduced down to pocket change until his next paycheck went through. He has a pretty good paying job, too.
This is an example of why no one should give anyone any grief over choosing not to have kids. If Amber and her husband had made this choice, it would have been much better for everyone, though I do hate to wish Alex and Cooper out of existence. It's not their fault their parents had poor judgment.
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