Tying the kNOT....a rant

[Red_Dazes]

"So do you think you and Beau are going to get Married?"...I am getting very tired of hearing this from everyone. My mom, my grandma, my grandpa, my aunt, my Uncle, my brothers, my sisters, my cousins, my nieces and nephews, and my friends.... EVERYONE.

It is just driving me insane. My uncle is concerned about me "living in sin" as is my step brother. So they NEVER let up on it. My mom has to ask me like 10 times a month. my friends always ask when they call me "So are you still with that guy." "Wow! Is it serious? Thinking about tying the knot?? huck huck huck"

In my mind the Beau and I are already married. We have been living together for 2 years, we split bills, money, food, water, love, time, feelings... But honestly I have never WANTED to get married. ever since I was a little girl. Oh sure I would dress up and play wedding, but I never really wanted to. I love the idea of being dressed up all beautiful and walking down the aisle. etc But I just hate marriage as an institution...beyond that we are broke, we live in an apartment, and oh yeah... we are BROKE.

The Beau wants to get married... and I don't mind, but my requirements are We have to not be living pay check to pay check, I'd like to have a house, not until I am at least 25 and there will be NO white dress. He has agreed to this.


...my family has not. My mom just WANTS me to get married... i mean she got married when she was 18! I'm 20... I need to get a move on! Not saying there is anything wrong with that... I just don't want to rush into it. I hate parties, I hate fuss, I hate PICTURES. And with the size of his family AND mine... that is just way to many people for me to even THINK of dealing with right now.

*sighs* I wish they would all just quit hassling me about it. I don't want to get married. Not right now at least. And they can't seem to get it though their thick skulls....

oh god... and don't even get me started on the "grand children" thing..... uggggg....

*cries*

[BroomJockey]

I love the idea of being dressed up all beautiful and walking down the aisle. etc But I just hate marriage as an institution...beyond that we are broke, we live in an apartment, and oh yeah... we are BROKE.

The Beau wants to get married... and I don't mind, but my requirements are We have to not be living pay check to pay check, I'd like to have a house, not until I am at least 25 and there will be NO white dress. He has agreed to this.

Sorry you're getting all this flak from all sides, but are you against marriage, or weddings? Because those are completely different. You don't need to have money to get married. It changes from place to place, but usually it's something like $50 for a marriage licence, and just get it done by a justice of the peace. I'm just a little confused is all, since you basically use the terms interchangeably, and profess both hatred and acceptance of it at the same time. If it is just weddings you hate, then keep in mind that skipping straight to the married part can help on taxes and getting a mortgage with better terms, so that would help with the not living paycheque to paycheque, and the getting a house.

[AdminAssistant]

Well, I don't know about Red Dazes family, but my mom would spontaneously combust if I eloped. She wants a weeeeedddddddiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg. With the white dress and the cake and the nasty sherbert punch crap they serve at Baptist weddings, since alcohol is the devil.

One day I will get married (I hope), and I would like a little ceremony and reception - but there will not be a white dress. I look terrible in white, and honey, purity? ME?

[DesignFox]

I hate when people ask me the marriage question, but that's mostly because I half expected/wanted to be married by now and I'm still "single". *sigh*

Everyone around me seems to be married or getting married though. *depressed*

I'm in no position to really be thinking about it at this point, though. I think it was much worse before when I thought I had a lasting relationship, and my ex turned out to be douchebag.

Maybe I should resign myself the idea of being a creepy horse lady. Instead of cats, I'll just get lots of horses and live alone on a farm and chase kids off my lawn.

[BroomJockey]

Instead of cats, I'll just get lots of horses and live alone on a farm and chase kids off my lawn.

Promise me you'll be in the classic red riding outfit, and carrying one of those polo mallets when you do it. I want video.

[DesignFox]

Promise me you'll be in the classic red riding outfit, and carrying one of those polo mallets when you do it. I want video.

XD I'll e-mail you in 20 years if my current relationship doesn't pan out.

[Boozy]

With the white dress and the cake and the nasty sherbert punch crap they serve at Baptist weddings, since alcohol is the devil.

My personal idea of hell is a dry wedding.

[DesignFox]

My personal idea of hell is a dry wedding.

I think the only thing worse was my friend who had a cash bar at their wedding...and it wasn't cheap!

[MaggieTheCat]

My boyfriend and I are going to get married, and probably soon (in the next month or so.) We have not picked a date, we are just going to spontaneously decide to get married one weekend (I guess you could call that eloping.) Neither one of us likes big parties; we went to a friend's wedding last weekend, and while it was beautiful, we both looked at each other in horror at the very thought of having something like that. And this was not a huge or elaborate wedding, either. So, no parties for us, no big deals, no tuxedos or white dresses. I will probably make him wear something besides jeans, though. However, besides wanting to be with each other, we want to get married for insurance purposes. I don't have insurance at the moment, since I left my last job in May and am not working anything that offers insurance right now.

Anyway, I think what Broom was saying is right. At first, my boyfriend was put off by the idea of being married. But, after we talked about it, we found out he doesn't mind the idea of being MARRIED, he didn't want to have a WEDDING. Which is awesome with me. Which is why we're going to elope. So, ask yourself, is it marriage that turns you off, or just the idea of having a wedding?

Best part is, is that my parents are all for us eloping. They don't want to host a big party and do all the work. They even said their "wedding present" would be to pay us to elope so they don't have to go through the stress of a wedding.

[guywithashovel]

I would like to get married someday, but I'm also pretty put off by the thought of a huge wedding. Ironically, many of the people on this site seem to be in agreement over that. I loathe the thought of putting up with family members going crazy over petty things. I also don't want to put up with bridezillas.

I just want a small ceremony where everyone is laid back. Hopefully, that is not too much to ask for.

[Peppergirl]

My personal idea of hell is a dry wedding.

Seconded. *shudder*

You're doing the right thing, RD. Don't let ANYONE pressure you into something you're not ready for.

I was 20, bowed to pressure, and (although it lasted 15 years) am now divorced. It wasn't a miserable marriage, but it wasn't great either, especially the last few years. Other than struggling for money, I've never been happier.

It sounds like you've got a keeper who's patient and kind. There is no hurry. Politely tell them its none of their business. Trust me, I'm proof positive that you're doing the right thing by staying true to yourself and LISTENING to yourself!!!

Rock on, girlfriend!

[AdminAssistant]

My personal idea of hell is a dry wedding.

Mine, too! I mean, I want to celebrate and have a good time and drink a ridiculous amount of champagne.

[BlaqueKatt]

I hate parties, I hate fuss, I hate PICTURES. And with the size of his family AND mine... that is just way to many people for me to even THINK of dealing with right now.

Meh-my first husband and I got married by a judge-had a "family reunion" potluck picnic 6 months later for the "reception"-it was fun actually-couple kegs, good food, I was in jean shorts and a veiled baseball cap.

[BroomJockey]

I was in jean shorts and a veiled baseball cap.

*sigh* *doodles on back of back of notebook*

[Flyndaran]

I was in the same boat. But now after being together for over 10 years everyone has shut the heck up about marriage.

I've only been to a few ceremonies, but each one was radically different.
A huge american catholic one.
A weird low key one with a pagan minister.
A really small one in the office of a judge.
A tiny one with a pregnant bride about ready to pop.