old =/= creepy

[DesignFox]

However, unless the guy doesn't take no for an answer, just because you find something creepy (older and flirting) doesn't mean that makes the guy a creep at all. JMO of course.

Oh no. The guys I'm talking about did NOT take no for an answer. (or realize that "I have a boyfriend" means "I have a boyfriend, go away!")

Hence, my problem with them.

I can think it's creepy that the guy even asked, but if he leaves me alone after I say no, then he's not "a creep".

I'm still allowed to think it's weird. I just won't *say* anything.

Also, I said I don't have a problem necessarily with older and flirting. It all depends on the scenario and if the guy is being inappropriate or not. I'm a flirt by nature myself. So, it's going to take a bit before a guy offends me. There's a line. I can't explain exactly where it is, but some guys don't know when not to cross it. If he crosses it, but leaves it at "No" or "I have a boyfriend" etc. Then I might still have a low opinion, but I won't go around calling him a creepoid. 'Cause that's not fair.

(I still think it's weird for guys to hit on girls half their age- but that's *me*- not everyone is *me*)

[guywithashovel]

I actually do think it's a little weird to see couples with huge age differences. I sometimes wonder what it was that brought them together, and I usually wonder what each of their parents thought of it as well. For example, when I was in the 12th grade, a girl in my class was dating a 27 year-old guy. She even brought him to the senior prom, too. I wonder what the reaction was when she brought him home and introduced him to her parents for the first time. I don't have a daughter--or any kids at all for that matter--but I do have a sister, and I can honestly say that if she had gotten involved with a 27 year-old guy when she was in high school, my parents would have been on a warpath. I also wondered if he felt silly attending a high school dance. And in case anyone's wondering, they got married shortly after graduation and had a kid together.

But with the exception of cases like that, if they're happy together, I try to leave the matter alone after the inital "Oh, that's odd" reaction. In this world, it's hard enough to find someone who can care about you and make you happy. Nonetheless, high school girls and 27 year-old men should probably steer clear of each other.

[Lace Neil Singer]

There was something in the news recently over here about a 14 year old girl who ran off with this guy twice her age that she met online; they were found recently and the guy was arrested. O_o

Oh no. The guys I'm talking about did NOT take no for an answer. (or realize that "I have a boyfriend" means "I have a boyfriend, go away!")

Exactly that. That is my definition of creepiness.

[thrifty]

I met my husband when I was 19 and he was 33. I think a lot of people would understandably say "excuse me what could you have in common?"

In reality we fit perfectly together, and I think the main reason is because I feel I am a lot older in many ways then my now 23 years.

At 19 I was in college, working, and at home taking care of my mother. She was (sober now ):-) an alcoholic, which meant I was handling bills, health issues, the house, so on and so forth.

I wasn't the stereotypical 19 year old college student going to parties, so on and so forth, so it was hard for me to relate to many 19 year old males my age. It just happened to be that the person I related best to was my 33 year old co-worker, and I wasn't willing to stop that relationship based on age :-)

My mom was okay with his age because I had dated older guys before, and she was pretty open about many things. His father's response was that "hey what's the big deal he likes them young." I know his mother was concerned because every woman he had been with before me had been his age or very near it and there were problems with those women, so how in the hell could a 19 year old work out when a 30 year old couldn't?

In the end it worked out and now we are married and expecting our first children September 20th. :-)

I do think we are the exception rather than the rule though, but I just wanted to share this experience with you all to know that it is possible, and isn't necessarily creepy.

[anriana]

His father's response was that "hey what's the big deal he likes them young."

Hmm so what happens when you are no longer young?

[BroomJockey]

Hmm so what happens when you are no longer young?

Well, she'll always be younger by the same amount, though the relative age gap will shrink, yes. As to what happens, it depends on their relationship.

Solid, lasting bonds based on shared experiences and love, and complimentary personality and opinions, it'll continue on.

Superficial relationship based on age and how a younger person makes him feel, he'll "trade in for a newer model," as the saying goes.

But guys do that to their wives when they're the same age, so an age gap doesn't really influence what will happen later. Solid relationships are solid, and can be kept so.

[violetyoshi]

sorry just had to get this off my chest....
Seeing soooo many posts on CS with "OMG that guy was totally creepy hitting on me when he's like 25 and I'm 18!"

It doesn't help matters if the 18 year old tarted themselves up before heading out to work. You want to wear big girl makeup, then expect to get hit on by men into big girls.

[anriana]

It doesn't help matters if the 18 year old tarted themselves up before heading out to work. You want to wear big girl makeup, then expect to get hit on by men into big girls.

That's right! They are totally asking for it.

[Greenday]

That's right! They are totally asking for it.

I'm not sure if that's sarcasm or not. But for some reason, I'm leaning towards sarcasm. By dressing up that way, they aren't so much asking for it as they are...hm, providing men with more of a reason to do so?

[Nyoibo]

That's right! They are totally asking for it.

Yes...

...and no.

[Flyndaran]

Yes...

...and no.

They are asking to get ogled, but not harrassed.

[Lace Neil Singer]

While I will say that no-one, male or female, clothed or unclothed, ever deserves to get harrassed or in a worst case scenario raped, it's true that a lot of teenage girls are very naive about how they will be perceived when they go out flashing the flesh. I'm not advocating that all teenage girls should sling on a burka when they go out, just apply a little bit of common sense. Like it or not, wearing a miniskirt up to your pubes and a top that only just covers your nipples is giving out the message, "I want sex! I'm up for having sex with any guy that comes along!". It's perfectly easy to dress sexy without looking like you belong at King's Cross. All it takes is a little bit of common sense.

Actually.... yes. Large breasts are considered attractive by many men, so if you have them, you'd be considered attractive to at least some extent. Besides, you're probably selling yourself short in general. I'm sure your boyfriend thinks you're pretty cute.

Aww, thanks. Don't know how I missed this before, but thanks for the thought.

[Nyoibo]

They are asking to get ogled, but not harrassed.

Pretty much.

[AdminAssistant]

I'm not advocating that all teenage girls should sling on a burka when they go out, just apply a little bit of common sense.

I wish I could have a sit-down with all of the girls at my university, for this reason. My town is great and very safe, generally. However, that lends to this false feeling of, "Well, I can walk around downtown half-naked at night and nothing will happen!" Sadly, there are quite a few sexual assaults, and they're under-reported by the media and down played by the police. It's not the "fault" of the girls involved, but youthful naivete combined with experimentation with drugs and alcohol and the chance to wear whatever you want....it can be a messy combination.

[Flyndaran]

It's like walking outside barefoot. You don't deserve to step on glass, but you should be careful.