My Mom & Guilt Trips

[Greenday]

My mom has been pretty good at laying guilt trips on me. Only now that I've been in college I don't take that crap anymore. This time, she tried to get my to cut her hair. I've done it before. It makes me really nervous and I hated it. I don't feel comfortable doing it. She kept asking and asking and I kept saying no, I don't feel comfortable.

Finally she got all pissed and dried her hair, complaining about how she cuts my hair, so why can't I just cut hers? While being tempted to just do it, then purposely mess up and cut off a huge piece and make her look stupid, I just told her buzzing hair and cutting hair are different. You can't really screw up buzzing hair. Cutting hair is a lot harder.

So she's been quiet now all afternoon and evening, not talking to me, and she's been on the phone with all of our family, complaining that I wouldn't cut my hair, but not even having the common decency to do it when I'm not around. Finally, while she was just talking to my aunt a couple minutes ago, I interrupted and told her I was going to call all of our family and complain that she was trying to force me to do something that she knew I was uncomfortable with. If I called my grandmother (her mom), and put it to her that way, she'd give my mom an earful and it'd really piss my mom off, giving me sweet justice. But oh well, I'm going out with my dad to a car show tonight, which will probably piss her off too. But at least she suggested I call him to go to it.

[BlaqueKatt]

My mom has been pretty good at laying guilt trips on me.

I highly recommend the book "Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You"

your local library probably has a copy-it helps sometimes to know different ways to deal with things-

[Flyndaran]

Passive aggressive is often just as bad as aggressive aggressive.
I'm glad that I was lucky enough to have two sane caring wonderful parents growing up. The more people I talk to, the luckier I feel.

Some parents need to be trained. Here's hoping your mom will eventually see the light.

[Greenday]

Oooh, sounds good. I'll have to see if my school library has it.

Edit: She still seems pissed since she wasn't talking. My sister was talking to me about it. When she got back from her friend's place, she found out my mom was mad because I wouldn't cut her hair. So my sister pointed out to my mom that she forced my sister to do it before too even when she wasn't comfortable with it and she hated it and my mom knew it. My mom said that wasn't the same thing. WTF? How is it not the same thing? I asked my step-dad and he said he thought my mom was ridiculous about this. She's done the same thing to him too.

[Boozy]

It's a terrible thing when the child is more emotionally mature than their parents, even when the child is a grown adult.

You will probably never have the sort of relationship with your mom that you want. So you just have to decide how much of her you can handle in your life. Set up some boundaries about what you will and will not discuss with her, let you know what they are, and stick to it. If she wants a relationship with you, it will have to be on your terms.

[AFPheonix]

Drive her to a Super Cuts and hand her $12 or so.