Your child can't be autistic because ...

[Nyoibo]

There was a very good episode of Law & Order either CI or SVU, that showed this perspective.

CSI had one.

[Flyndaran]

I like the perks I get from Aspergers, to be honest.

When explaining Aspergers to people who don't know much about it, I compare it to being a mutant in the X-men universe. Some mutants would give anything to be cured of their mutancy and become normal humans; others like their powers and are proud of who they are. Put me in the second group, but I won't yell at anyone who puts themselves in the first group.

Having a mental disorder is good? Being a nerd or having some mental prowess has nothing to do with autism.
I just can't understand why so many disabled people love being disabled.
I know that I would LOVE to cure my social phobia, anxiety, and lack of social abilities. I don't care that I wouldn't have been as well read or whatever if I had started out emotionally and mentally healthy.

[Dreamstalker]

There was a very good episode of Law & Order either CI or SVU, that showed this perspective.

There's also a sci-fi book by Elizabeth Moon called The Speed of Dark that deals with autistic scientists and the idea of a "cure" that is being forced on them by their boss.

[protege]

Anyway, this whole business about trying to "cure" autism reminds me of when I was studying sign language, and some people are bent on trying to "cure" Deafness. What a lot of people don't realize is that Deaf people have a community all of their own and many of them don't want to be "cured." It is not considered a disability to them, simply a different way of living. It sounds similar with autism, from what I understand.

Pardon me if I stray off-topic a bit...please. This sounds like the people who want to "cure" depression with pills...and my mother is one of them. Contrary to the commercials, it doesn't go away, and there's no cure for it. I should know, as I've had to deal with that shit most of my life. It pisses me off that most people don't understand it, or try to use it as an excuse to act like an asshole. Yes, I know I'm different. Don't like it? Fuck you.

Most of my childhood was spent at various therapists trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me. I got to hear my mother tell people that she wished I was "just like the other kids..." (Of course this is the same person who asked "if so-and-so jumped off a bridge, would you?" but that's beside the point ) So much time was spent trying to "fix" me, rather than find ways to work around what was wrong. Eventually, I had to figure that out for myself.

In fact, I got screamed at because "we're spending all this money on therapy, and you don't seem to be improving." Somehow it's *my* fault because I have mental problems? What the fuck? And no, I can't ever forgive them for that.

But, I just might fall on the Autism scale somewhere--when I was growing up, there wasn't much known about it. I seem to share a few of the characteristics--awkward social skills, being able to learn some things quickly, etc. Sure that drove my mother nuts after taking an IQ test--my results were in the highest category, yet I wasn't doing well in school. Again, I got blamed because my mind isn't like everyone else's, and I simply *can't* work that way.

I try not to let that get to me. In fact, I can use that to my advantage. It's actually made me stronger. Plus, I get the added benefit...that people don't usually see me coming, until it's too late. In other words, get the fuck out of the way

[Boozy]

Pardon me if I stray off-topic a bit...please. This sounds like the people who want to "cure" depression with pills...and my mother is one of them. Contrary to the commercials, it doesn't go away, and there's no cure for it.

Depression does go away for many people. There are drugs available that do effectively cure depression in episodic sufferers. Depression is not always a chronic condition.

It seems to be chronic for you, though, and that sucks. I'm sorry you haven't found any medications that work for you.

[violetyoshi]

Having a mental disorder is good? Being a nerd or having some mental prowess has nothing to do with autism.
I just can't understand why so many disabled people love being disabled.
I know that I would LOVE to cure my social phobia, anxiety, and lack of social abilities. I don't care that I wouldn't have been as well read or whatever if I had started out emotionally and mentally healthy.

Autism, and diagnoses on the Autism spectrum, aren't mental disorders, they are neurodiversities. Differences that naturally occur in the brain. We live in a society that is growing more and more towards the idea that everyone should be the same, as much as possible. People are becoming more intolerant of differences, so there are now several neurodiversities being labeled as conditions.

We're not saying having a mental disorder is good, we're saying we're not apologizing for who we are, or being different. We don't love being disabled, because we are not disabled, we are neurodiverse. Disabled has been a label "normal" people have labeled those of us on the Autism spectrum with. There are many aspects of people who are "normal" that could also be seen as dysfunctional:

http://isnt.autistics.org/

This website has an excellent example, of how things were being if being Neurotypical (normal) was pathologized, instead of Autism spectrum neurodiversities.

It's merely a matter of the majority being "normal" or appearing so, there are many disabling behaviors people who qualify as "normal" are allowed to choose to behave in, such as seeking drugs or alcohol, or being overly promiscuous. These behaviors while discouraged, aren't seen as a sign that there is something inherently wrong with "normal" people. They are accepted as a course of common events.

Meanwhile people deemed to be on the Autism spectrum, have been sent to places that have tried to "cure" them of their harmless behaviors. Such as stimming, or having sensory defensiveness. So here you have, "normal" people being allowed to take on behaviors that may kill or destroy lives, and people on the Autism spectrum, being told something is wrong with them for finding ways to cope with stress, that don't harm anyone.

Who's really the one who's disabled?

Also, saying being a nerd or having some mental prowess has nothing to do with people on the Autism spectrum, is beyond ignorant. People on the Autism spectrum, are capable of doing anything they can think of, they just have more challenges to face. Like, prejudice, for example. Many people on the Autism spectrum, are great at computers, and maybe one day one of them will be there to fix your computer. With the way you speak of people who are on the Autism spectrum, you should think about how things would be if that person wasn't there to help you. Or if there weren't computers at all, which have been developed by programmers, again people who most likely are on the Autism spectrum. Thomas Edison has even been considered to be on the Autism spectrum. So if you'd perfer to live in a world with no technology, as long as everyone was the same, that's your choice.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I really do not consider myself "disabled" at all. If anything, I have a distinct advantage over "normal" people in a lot of ways.

One girl I know, who is both dyslexic and dyscalculic says LD stands for "Learning DIFFERENTLY". That rocks.

Why should we NOT be okay with ourselves, whowever we are?

[violetyoshi]

Well I guess it's typical NT behavior. "What right do you have to be okay with who you are, when I don't?"

[Flyndaran]

Well I guess it's typical NT behavior. "What right do you have to be okay with who you are, when I don't?"

Did you and everyone else pick and choose what they read of my posts?
I don't fit that silly psuedo-PC term neurotypical. I have severe social phobia, anxiety, and weird disabilities in understanding social cues.
That is unhealthy.
Trying to see the silver lining is nice, but not by completely ignoring the cloud.
Mental disorders are just that, and not some kind of benefit.
Not being able to read or do simple math is not a gift, and the very idea insults my intelligence. It belittles the effort I have put into dealing with my problems by saying that they aren't really problems.

[Nyoibo]

Autism, and diagnoses on the Autism spectrum, aren't mental disorders, they are neurodiversities. Differences that naturally occur in the brain.

No they're not, dress it up how you want but Autism is a brain development disorder involving abnormalities of brain development, it's an autism spectrum disorders as is aspergers, whether you like it or not there is a medical 'norm' deviations from that are disorders, the deviation is because there is something wrong. Whether autism is caused by environment or genetic mutation it's still something wrong or damaged and the body and brain finding a way to function to bypass that rather than being able to use the optimal path.

For some reason I have this nagging feeling that I should cover the mutation part, yes mutation is part of evolution, but only if it makes you faster, stronger, smarter or in some way better able to survive your environment ASD's do not, they detract from that ability.

[Boozy]

Flyndaran's anxiety disorder is a clearly a disability since it disables him from living independently to some degree (earning a living, doing his own shopping, etc.) He's not wrong in feeling that way.

Violetyoshi and RK either feel the bonuses that come with their conditions outweigh the downsides, or just don't feel disabled in any way. And it's perfectly fine to think that way, too.

I've been told a thousand times that autism is a spectrum. High-functioning autistics are probably more often seen as "different'" than disabled. But certainly there are some autistic folks who are non-verbal and can't handle going out into public at all. Some will require assistance their entire lives. I think it's unreasonable to say they aren't disabed by their condition. They may also require that label in order to receive the government assistance they may require.

[violetyoshi]

No they're not, dress it up how you want but Autism is a brain development disorder involving abnormalities of brain development, it's an autism spectrum disorders as is aspergers, whether you like it or not there is a medical 'norm' deviations from that are disorders, the deviation is because there is something wrong. Whether autism is caused by environment or genetic mutation it's still something wrong or damaged and the body and brain finding a way to function to bypass that rather than being able to use the optimal path.

For some reason I have this nagging feeling that I should cover the mutation part, yes mutation is part of evolution, but only if it makes you faster, stronger, smarter or in some way better able to survive your environment ASD's do not, they detract from that ability.

There are several people who are on the Autism spectrum that have achieved many things. Something wrong is a issue of perspective. There is something wrong with many "normal" people, for example their lack of accepting differences without turning them into something negative. A tendency towards addictive behaviors. "normal" people are far from perfect, the only reason they are held up as the standard model, is they're the majority. That's it.

You need to meet more people on the Autism spectrum, and see what they've acheived. You'd be surprised. There are many aspects of "normal" people that detract from their abilities, yet I don't see many people suggesting they should be ashamed of themselves.

[Nyoibo]

You need to meet more people on the Autism spectrum, and see what they've acheived.

What makes you think I don't know many?

There are many aspects of "normal" people that detract from their abilities, yet I don't see many people suggesting they should be ashamed of themselves.

Then you're not looking very hard.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Not being able to read or do simple math is not a gift, and the very idea insults my intelligence. It belittles the effort I have put into dealing with my problems by saying that they aren't really problems.

It is when the so called "disorder"usually comes with a huge boost in language skills, artistic skill, and mental flexibility. Because, at least in my own experience, these things are far more valuable than knowing how to do calculus.

And I can do some simple math. The stuff I need in my day to day life, I can either do or manage through the coping mechanisms we are so stellar at coming up with. It does not cripple me.

In fact, one of the biggest problems of Dyscalculia is that the "sufferers" so excel in everything else, no one wants to accept that they have a problem. We tend to be "the smart kids". So instead of being helped, or at least humored, we get called names like "lazy" and "stubborn." We get accused of not paying attention because of our flakiness and absent mindedness. We get called conceited and rude because we have problems recognizing faces and forget who people are. But that is only a problem with other's perception, not a problem with us.

I do not have a disability. Your social phobia, on the other hand, sounds like it is probably pretty crippling. It's not the same thing. Making you feel better about yourself is no reason for anyone else to force themselves to feel worse about themselves.

If your intelligence is insulted by others being able to cope and be happy in their lives, and being optimisitc about their blessings, well, not much I can say to that. I guess that's your burden to bear. But it sure as heck is not mine.

[Flyndaran]

...
You need to meet more people on the Autism spectrum, and see what they've acheived. You'd be surprised. There are many aspects of "normal" people that detract from their abilities, yet I don't see many people suggesting they should be ashamed of themselves.

Because the majority of people aren't better than the majority, something is shameful about the majority?
I'm afraid I don't understand what you're trying to say.