Your child can't be autistic because ...

[Lace Neil Singer]

OT: I wouldn't quite call myself a furry per se, but I have an "other" as well (wolf) and I have managed mental shapeshifting. There's a very good book on that subject, The Magic of Shapeshifting by Rosalyn Greene.

What exactly do you mean by mental shapeshifting? I often imagine myself changing shape, and I feel it happening, too. I've also had dreams where I've been my "other", and they've felt real.

Back on topic; I've noticed too that a lot of people mistake being an arsehole for Aspergers, which bugs me. It's like they want to get away with being rude and obnoxious, both on and offline; and it pretty much spits on anyone who genuinely has that disorder. -.-

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Some of my relatives think I baby my daughter, too. Whatever, they're entitled to think whatever they want. They're even entitled to say whatever they want.

Just remember, you're entitled to say whatever you want, too.

[violetyoshi]

Some of my relatives think I baby my daughter, too. Whatever, they're entitled to think whatever they want. They're even entitled to say whatever they want.

Just remember, you're entitled to say whatever you want, too.

I find parents who complain about helicopter parents, or say people baby their children. Are parents who are trying to convince themselves that raising their children by being overly disciplinarian, or neglectful of their child's needs, isn't wrong.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, they raised their kids in a different time. They are not me and their kids are not my kid. You know?

They are fine parents. They are just different parents.

Now, in Rum's case? I don't think her inlaws were likely fine parents.

[IDrinkaRum]

Mr. Rum's parents very obviously play favorites. The oldest Grandchild is the favorite. With the OG's sister #2 and mine #3. (even though my daughter is inbetween OG and OG's sister).

I was raised by an over-protective mother. I came out relatively unscathed.

My in-laws raised 3 boys. I don't think they realize raising a girl (and especially one with special needs), is most definitely different.

[violetyoshi]

Well, they raised their kids in a different time. They are not me and their kids are not my kid. You know?

They are fine parents. They are just different parents.

Now, in Rum's case? I don't think her inlaws were likely fine parents.

Yes the, "Back in the day kids behaved better" claim. Used to justify coporal punishment of children on a regular basis. People used to go unnoticed when hitting their children with belts, yet people say "Well the kids behaved better back then".

Instilling fear in a child teaches them nothing, it destroys them, and any opportunity they may have had in the future to express or feel love. This can be done with violence such as spanking, no I don't mean "just a tap on the butt" before people get all excited, or emotional abuse.

Kids behaved better back in the day, most likely because it was considered the social norm to keep them in a state of parental induced terror. Don't believe me, just look at the children of parents who spanked them, speaking about how their parents discipline was right as if it's gospel. As if they don't say the right thing, somehow their parents will hit them again.

I'm not saying all parents need to be the same, but there has to be basic respect of the child in that family. There are ways to raise a child to be good, without having to harm them emotionally or physically! Seems with parents who claim things were better the past, are looking for a easy way out of actually parenting. Since things like teaching your child morals, and compassion takes time, while yelling or hitting your child only takes a few seconds.

[IDrinkaRum]

I like to keep my daughter in front of me at all times because she will run after anything (including a piece of grass waving in the wind). Child Rum does not respond to her name being called.

This is why my MIL thinks I baby her. Because I want to keep an Autistic child, a special needs child, a child who doesn't understand that when Mommy or Daddy are calling her name is not a joke, but a summons.

Explain to me how that is babying her?

[Dreamstalker]

It's not. Not at all. I've seen "normal" kids who won't respond to their name.

For a period of a few months, I would only respond to growls or barks--somehow I knew that would never fly in public though so we had something else (damned if I can remember what it was though). The nicknames my parents came up with to get me to pay attention...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, I wasn't referring to any difference in discipline. I have no idea about how they disciplined their kids, to be honest. Their kids were always pretty well behaved, and I had no reason to think they were particularly strict or whatever.

I just meant that if I say "no, I dont feed her that" or "I would rather not let her do whatever" I get called overprotective.

For instance: I don't give my daughter stuff like raw spinach, for example. We can't seem to keep shit out of our food supply nowdays, and I'd rather she not die of ecoli. My sister in law raised her babies back before that was something we had to worry about, so because I am worried about something she didn't have to consider, I'm overprotective.

AM I overprotective? I dunno. Maybe. Probably.

But so be it.

[violetyoshi]

Hey, it's your child. Tell her to get a hobby, or find a community online to complain to. You have a child to raise, you don't need to be put in a position where it's like your taking care of 2 children.

[Dreamstalker]

I often imagine myself changing shape, and I feel it happening, too. I've also had dreams where I've been my "other", and they've felt real.

Me too. I've also felt phantom limbs (usually tail and ears). That's aura-manipulation; the book I mentioned covers it in a fair amount of detail (once when I was consciously doing it on the train, one person looked at me and did a doubletake...hmm). I'll often start walking on the balls (pads) of my feet...I've been told that's an autism "trait"

In an attempt to make this even vaguely on-topic (I might split shapeshifting into its own topic, just have to figure out where to put it), has anyone here read Temple Grandin's book Animals In Translation?

[Lace Neil Singer]

I haven't; I do however have a book on shapeshifting, both in myth and modern culture. I should really get more if you're recommending. XD

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Hey, it's your child. Tell her to get a hobby, or find a community online to complain to. You have a child to raise, you don't need to be put in a position where it's like your taking care of 2 children.

Sorry, I don't understand what you mean here.

[IDrinkaRum]

Dreamstalker - walking on the balls of the feet is a common trait among autistic people. My daughter does it constantly. I was talking to the mother of another autistic child who was in the same summer speech camp as Child Rum & she got her son shoe weights to help him learn how to walk "normally" on his feet.

I also believe it's listed as one of the "symptoms" or "things to look for" in determining if your child is autistic.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I don't do that, but I do walk around barefoot a lot; yup, even in winter. I can't stand wearing socks or slippers inside the house. XD I also stim a bit, tho I manage to tone it down if I'm in public and there's a few annoying habits I have, like cracking my knuckle joints or twiddling my hair.