How DARE you have a difference that causes me a slight inconvenience!

[violetyoshi]

I get it nobody cares about Hyperacusis, because it requires them to be uncomfortable. I agree that man from the wal-mart thing was completely wrong, and I asked to be trolled by even suggesting there was something right about what he did.

So, when will it be okay for me to mention this again, ever? It's a part of my dailiy life, it's not going to just go away. It must be that I don't understand why when someone explains to you they are suffering pain from a situation, that it's so difficult to understand that. Perhaps it's because this involves children, who never do anything wrong. So parents are upset that someone would suggest their child behaves in a way that could possibly disturb anyone.

Perhaps everyone would be happier if I stayed at home, and didn't go out in the world, and have the gall to suggest that I should be able to be in public without having a kid screaming around me, making me want to scream out in pain. How dare I suggest, that I should be able to be understood for my condition, and anxiety problems that relate to it. Silly me, I should just get with the program and deal with things like adults. I should become addicted to the Valium I'm prescribed for my anxiety issues, so I'm calm and complacent to everyone.

That's not about to happen. I am going to try to communicate my situation better to people, since there seems to be a major contention with my assumption that people should be able to understand from a glare, that perhaps their child needs to be calmed down. Perhaps I should just explain this slowly and in great deal to people, because it's just so impossible to imagine someone could feel pain from anything other than a obvious physical injury.

[AdminAssistant]

I can sympathize that you have a disorder. However, there are loud noises out in the world and you're not going to be able to avoid all of them. Can you wear ear plugs? Or would they at least help enough for you to function?

Crying children are a pain, but that's just part of life.

[the_std]

Plus, take into account that you cannot always control a child's actions. Especially a 2-year old. What is the mom supposed to do then? What if she also has shopping that she has to get done? Say, groceries?

The world is about compromise. No one should have to bow down unequivocally to you, just as you shouldn't have to bow down to them. Find a middle ground. A solution. If people aren't as tolerant of your disorder as you would like them to be, find a way to change you or the way you deal with it, because there is no way you're going to be able to change everyone in the world, no matter how hard you try.

I've said it to you before and I will say it again: the only person you can control is you. If others won't change, you need to find the answer, whether it's changing your lifestyle, lobbying and spreading awareness of disorders like yours, something, anything instead of trying to justify why a grown man would slap a two-year old child.

[BroomJockey]

I asked to be trolled by even suggesting there was something right about what he did.

That's not being trolled. I don't think you know what "being trolled" means. Honestly, your assertion of it being okay in any fashion for him to hit the kid, then making this thread because you were called on it is closer to trolling, since it reads like you're deliberately trying to stir up anger and controversy, then pulling a big blanket of "you can't be mad at me" over your head. THAT is what trolling is. And if you honestly felt you were being trolled, you have been informed of the existence of the report button.

[Pedersen]

I get it nobody cares about Hyperacusis,

First off, I do care. Hyperacusis sounds related to something that happens for me. I cannot mentally block out high pitched noises. Every single one of them gets heard by me. Put any actual volume into it, and I do feel pain from it. All of that means that a trip to the store during the day is a risky adventure for me because, as you've already noticed, babies, toddlers, and even very young children tend to have a high pitched sound and a propensity for volume. I simply have to put up with it.

Now, what I don't care about is how every single problem in the world somehow relates to one of three things with you:

1. Fat acceptance
2. Neurodiverse acceptance
3. People being more sensitive about your hyperacusis.

Seriously, go back and look at your posting history. A significant portion of your posts focus on those three items. And if the thread doesn't start out dealing with them, you tie it in somehow, and then demand that the rest of us pay attention to you and agree with your points about those three items.

Get over it. Quite frankly, you are one person, no more nor less important than anybody else who posts here. If you want to post about those topics, fine, do so. But expect to have people get tired of you repeating the same thing over and over and over again.

and I asked to be trolled by even suggesting there was something right about what he did.

Quite frankly, you have no idea what trolling is. None at all. Not if you think that was trolling. Trolling is walking into an Apple store and saying "Ya know, I bet Windows Vista would make this machine about perfect." It's joining an IRC chatroom dedicated to emacs and saying "Man, vi is so much nicer to use. I just can't stand all the extra keystrokes to do anything in emacs." It's joining a debate board, and making sure that every debate is about you and your personal problems, as opposed to debating the topics that have been brought up.

What I did was quite categorically not trolling.

So, when will it be okay for me to mention this again, ever?

Actually, there's a very specific time that it's okay to mention it: When it's actually germane to the conversation at hand.

Look, I'm going to spell things out for you very bluntly about me, since I don't think you've quite caught on: When it comes to taking apart an argument, I'm very good at it. And on this board, I tend to show no mercy when someone is being obtuse. Go and look over my posting history. I'm not perfect, not by a long shot, but I can (and do, regularly) take apart arguments, and I'm not very nice when I do it.

I've even seen one person make the comment that someone else was being brave getting into such an argument with me. Still not sure how I feel about that comment.

Right now, the arguments you're making are quite definitively not good ones. Your point may be valid, but your presentation of them leaves holes that small moons can pass through. Add in that your arguments, frequently, attempt to take the thread in a direction such that the thread becomes about you, and your personal issues with life, and we get a situation that, even though I try to ignore it, I frequently find myself compelled to point out just how wrong what you are saying is.

You are the one who has the power to change things. Stop dragging every thread down the same paths. Stop trying to make everything about you and your personal issues. When you debate the topic at hand, and can do so without attempting to derail it into one of your personal crusades, you will see a lot less of me pointing out that you're doing it.

As for the rest of your post, that I'm not quoting here, my answer is simple: Your problems obviously aren't going to go away on their own. But you have the choice in how you deal with them. Try to force the rest of the world to accommodate you, or learn that the rest of the world is going to tell you to take a flying leap, and learn to cope with them to the best of your ability to do so, and try to make your corner of the world work better for you.

I know how I deal with my problems. From what I've seen of how you deal with yours, you seem to prefer the former solution. And all I can say is "Good luck with that".

That's not about to happen. I am going to try to communicate my situation better to people, since there seems to be a major contention with my assumption that people should be able to understand from a glare, that perhaps their child needs to be calmed down.

This bit I will quote and take issue with, though. You're seriously stating that people should know, by virtue of you glaring in their general direction, that they should do something to make your life better? Am I reading that right?

Because, if so, you've just stated that the entire world needs to pay attention to you, and do you what you demand, without them even getting verbal instructions. And that might be the most selfish, stuck up, arrogant thing I've ever heard.

[Nyoibo]

I get it nobody cares about Hyperacusis, because it requires them to be uncomfortable.

It doesn't make me uncomfortable and I don't necessarily not care, but there seems to be this expectation that everything should come from me* to make sure you're not put out, that's not so cool.

It must be that I don't understand why when someone explains to you they are suffering pain from a situation, that it's so difficult to understand that. Perhaps it's because this involves children, who never do anything wrong.

No, kids do plenty wrong, because they're kids, it's during these formative years that they learn what is right and wrong, there are things that have to be ecxepted, young kids squeak and squeal, it's not them being naughty or trying to make your life miserable, it's them testing out their vocl chords and what sounds they can make, which is important for the basis of speech later on. That may be uncomfortable to you, but what is a parent supposed to do, retard their childs development so you can feel more comfortable?

Perhaps everyone would be happier if I stayed at home, and didn't go out in the world, and have the gall to suggest that I should be able to be in public without having a kid screaming around me, making me want to scream out in pain. How dare I suggest, that I should be able to be understood for my condition, and anxiety problems that relate to it.

Answered below by you.

Silly me, I should just get with the program and deal with things like adults.

To an extent yes, unless you consider yourself a child who can't cope with the world, part of being an adult is taking responsibility for yourself, if you have a condition part of that responsibility is to take precautions that said condition will not be exacerbated by your environment, sometimes it's unavoidable so instead you take precautions to minimise the impact.

That's not about to happen.

Then you stay at home and be treated like a petulant child, you can't have it both ways. I have a high sensitivity to bright light, I don't expect that stores and restaraunts turn their lights down for me and to cater to my every whim, I take respobsibility for myself and have sunglasses with me all the time, apart from a very basic level it's not up to other people to ensure your comfort, it's up to you.


*Me refering to the generic "me"

Trolling is walking into an Apple store and saying "Ya know, I bet Windows Vista would make this machine about perfect."

That's not trolling, that's just fun.

[Amethyst Hunter]

your assertion of it being okay in any fashion for him to hit the kid, then making this thread because you were called on it

I find it disturbing that ANYBODY would think it's OK to hit a being that is clearly much smaller and weaker than the person doing the hitting. There's a word for that type of behavior: bullying.

I'm not much a fan of most kids; I ignore the majority of them and only really pay attention to them if they stand out in some way (good or bad). I detest how a lot of pathetic parenting has created several generations' worth of asshole kids who will most likely grow up to become asshole adults, who will in turn perpetuate the bad cycle by breeding more assholes. I hate hearing screaming kids as much as anybody else (and while I don't have what Violet has, I do find the noise painful at times), and I have my share of "oh god please shut that kid UP" thoughts, both of which I think are perfectly normal whether one is CF or childed.

But *hitting* a kid? (And I don't mean 'time-out' kind of spankings here) Some things need no explanation as to why they are just unequivocally WRONG.

[Depot Denizen]

I don't have a sensitivity to high-pitched sounds, but screaming children grate my nerves. I see if the screaming ceases, then if it doesn't, I try to remove myself from that situation. Most parents know that the noises are unwelcome and are likely annoying other people, and usually they try to encourage the kid to cease the high-pitched noise.

When I get stressed out I start stuttering pretty badly, it began after my dad died last year. I try not to make a big issue out of it, but I try to control my own reactions so I can avoid it, or avoid stressful situations. I don't blame others for that.

My mom gets nervous around crowds, especially in a big store like Hannafords or Wal-Mart. Instead of blaming it on the crowds she tried to be efficient about what she's doing and generally avoids larger crowds.

It comes down to being able to deal with it like an adult and taking responsibility for your own issues. Instead of blaming the source, bring a pair of ear plugs or stylish headphones to help dull the noise.

People who have light sensitivity don't demand that stores dim the store lights, they bring sunglasses to wear or other appropriate gear.

It sucks that you have that, but you have to learn to deal with it appropriately.

[Boozy]

Where is everyone going with all the screaming children? Is this really a major issue? It would seem so easy to avoid.

I think the last time I heard a screaming child was for a minute or so in the grocery store last week. And keep in mind that I work in that grocery store, all day, nearly every day. If screaming children and other piercing noises were a major problem there, I'd know it.

I'll admit that I do not shop at Walmart. From the sounds of it, that place is a cesspool of human despair and depravity.

AdminAssistant's suggestion of ear plugs is a good one. I wear them at night, and they block out everything.

[Cat]

I am crowd-phobic....if I don't have decent space around me I get slight panic attacks...however, as was mentioned, I don't expcet crowds to dispurse for me.

I cannot stand loud noises, well they do not cause me pain, they can trigger anxiety (it took me a week to plug in my CO alarm, because I was terrifed of hearing the alarm go off). Should all alarms around me be silenced? Of course not.

There are many other "differences" about me....and it would be selfish for me to expect society to kisi my bum and change merely to suit me.

[Nyoibo]

I'll admit that I do not shop at Walmart. From the sounds of it, that place is a cesspool of human despair and depravity.

But an intersting place to observe humanities lowest common denominator. Plus when you've never seen one before it's like a tourist thing.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

There used to be this woman who came into Kinko's and ever time she did, she complained that loud noise gave her a headache, the machines were loud, the other customers were loud, and could we PLEASE turn off the radio?

She never, however, did anything to help herself. She didn't plan her visits during off hours, she never did anything to see to her own needs.

We were sick of her. Because she was a whiny, self-important pain in the ass.

She came in one afternoon, peak hours, and started in with her same old speil. My manager had brought her a pair of earplugs, which he gave her.

But you know what? That didn't placate her. Because she didn't want a solution, she just wanted to whine and have the store grind to a halt alll because of her. She liked attention.

As do you, I suspect.

I'm not saying you don't have problems. We all have problems. I suggest you do what all the rest of us do with ours and see to yours.

As for being trolled, yeah. You don't know what being trolled is. What happened to you is that you suggested that assault was okay if someone didn't do as you wanted them to do. Which, of course, is such an outrageous statement it actually IS trolling.

No, what happened to you is that your opionion got debated, since this is a debate forum. Or, in that particular instance, you got called out on your trolling.

As for your refreshingly self entitled statment that "people should get a hint when you glare at them" or whatever such nonsense it was, got news for you: Nobody gives much a damn some strange broad in the store gives them the stinkeye. Maybe they DO get a hint, they just don't care. I doubt educating them to your plight would help....I mean, they aren't going to take you seriously as clearly, you aren't managing your problem very well (refer to the earplug story above). And anyways, I can pretty much promise they care more about making their kid happy than they do making you happy.

Lifes hard. Sack up. You've spent your whole life whining about how unfair it all is. You're right. Life's unfair. And it's passing you by with a quickness. What's the line from Shawshank Redemption...."Get busy living or get busy dying."

Indeed.

[LeChatNoir]

I posted in the other thread about the man hitting the child, before I knew this thread existed. Several people have already voiced my thoughts more eloquently and succinctly than I could, so I don't really have much to add except for this.

Say, for example, the man in the story posted elsewhere had hyperacusis or some other condition that made a child's screaming/crying absolutely unbearable. So what? That still doesn't give him the right to smack the child. He's an adult who (hypothetically) has to live with a potentially debilitating condition. The thing is...he's an adult. He should have handled the situation in a more mature and better fashion than he actually did. He should have taken steps (as others have suggested for yourself) to make the outing to Wal-Mart much more bearable, such as ear plugs or head phones.

If you are painfully sensitive to high pitched sounds and do nothing to remedy the situation for yourself, but expect everyone else to bend over backwards and muzzle their children for you so you aren't disturbed, then you have a serious problem. Honestly, violetyoshi, you come off sounding like a petulant child. I understand you have certain conditions that make life difficult, but grow up and deal with it. Stop trying to make your problems everyone elses problems as well.

[DesignFox]

But an intersting place to observe humanities lowest common denominator. Plus when you've never seen one before it's like a tourist thing.

*snicker* oh dear god, yes.

You want to see any sort of negative stereotype of any sort of person? Take a quick trip through your local Wal-Mart!

Can't help it, though. Somethings are just easier and cheaper to get there. I try to go during the times of day I know the least number of people will be in there.

Also, not all Wal-Marts are created equal. Some are much better than others. My town's Wally World is much cleaner and the employees much happier than some others I've been in...

[guywithashovel]

How can you expect to make an attempt at justifying a grown man hitting a two-year old and not make people angry?