How DARE you have a difference that causes me a slight inconvenience!

[protege]

As for your refreshingly self entitled statment that "people should get a hint when you glare at them" or whatever such nonsense it was, got news for you: Nobody gives much a damn some strange broad in the store gives them the stinkeye.

Around here, you'd either get the "Pittsburgh Salute" or some nasty things said to you. I hate to say it, but I don't care if someone's glaring at me. Hell, I'll probably glare right back, or flip them off

I should mention that I don't like screaming kids either. I can understand them crying, or making noise while playing. However, if they're screaming just to scream, and their parent(s) are just sitting there, well, it pisses me off. Like my neighbor's kid was doing the other night, because he didn't want to come inside.

He spent a good hour screaming at the top of his lungs. Long enough that everyone was looking outside, and muttering snide comments. As if that wasn't enough, my neighbor (who works a 1-8am shift) actually said "thanks for waking me up," and threatened to call the cops if it didn't stop.

As for the guy hitting the child, what the fuck? There's no reason he should have done that. Don't want to deal with noise? Either wear earplugs or suck it up and deal. Don't want to do that? Stay the fuck home then. Sorry, but it pisses me off when people try to use a condition as an excuse to be a jerk, and/or a crutch they use because they're too lazy to take care of their kids.

[BlaqueKatt]

Perhaps everyone would be happier if I stayed at home, and didn't go out in the world, and have the gall to suggest that I should be able to be in public without having a kid screaming around me, making me want to scream out in pain.

Perhaps the child is deaf or autistic-does your difference then somehow trump theirs and they should have to stay home because it disturbs you?

Should we vote on who's difference is worse and should be catered to?

I am going to try to communicate my situation better to people, since there seems to be a major contention with my assumption that people should be able to understand from a glare, that perhaps their child needs to be calmed down.

Yeah because as the parent of an autistic child that would and did scream for hours on end for no reason whatsoever I thoroughly enjoyed being glared at by strangers that knew nothing about me or my child and just assumed that I was a horrible parent.

[violetyoshi]

How can you expect to make an attempt at justifying a grown man hitting a two-year old and not make people angry?

I'm not, it seems everyone is thinking that I do.

Around here, you'd either get the "Pittsburgh Salute" or some nasty things said to you. I hate to say it, but I don't care if someone's glaring at me. Hell, I'll probably glare right back, or flip them off

I should mention that I don't like screaming kids either. I can understand them crying, or making noise while playing. However, if they're screaming just to scream, and their parent(s) are just sitting there, well, it pisses me off. Like my neighbor's kid was doing the other night, because he didn't want to come inside.

He spent a good hour screaming at the top of his lungs. Long enough that everyone was looking outside, and muttering snide comments. As if that wasn't enough, my neighbor (who works a 1-8am shift) actually said "thanks for waking me up," and threatened to call the cops if it didn't stop.

As for the guy hitting the child, what the fuck? There's no reason he should have done that. Don't want to deal with noise? Either wear earplugs or suck it up and deal. Don't want to do that? Stay the fuck home then. Sorry, but it pisses me off when people try to use a condition as an excuse to be a jerk, and/or a crutch they use because they're too lazy to take care of their kids.

I don't have kids. If I did however, I'd teach them to be tolerant of people's differences, rather than derride them for not being the same.

Perhaps the child is deaf or autistic-does your difference then somehow trump theirs and they should have to stay home because it disturbs you?

Should we vote on who's difference is worse and should be catered to?





Yeah because as the parent of an autistic child that would and did scream for hours on end for no reason whatsoever I thoroughly enjoyed being glared at by strangers that knew nothing about me or my child and just assumed that I was a horrible parent.

I'm sorry that happened to you. To be honest, I'd simply leave with my child, or take them home where they can play and have fun instead of being made to sit still. I know, it's so much to ask for parents to make such a sacrifice on behalf of their child.

[Ree]

To be honest, I'd simply leave with my child, or take them home where they can play and have fun instead of being made to sit still. I know, it's so much to ask for parents to make such a sacrifice on behalf of their child.

What the hell?
A parent can't cave and cater 100% to the child, either, regardless of whether the child has issues such as autism.

It's not selfish of a parent to try and teach a child patience and self control and to help them learn that, every time they throw a hissy fit, Mommy or Daddy is not going to cave to their every whim.

Yeah...it's annoying to others to listen to it, but as has been said before, the crying and screeching are the early development of speech, and a necessary if annoying part of allowing a child to develop normally.

It's like slapping a dog or kicking it because it barks.

That's how the dog communicates.
Same thing with a child.

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

To be honest, I'd simply leave with my child, or take them home where they can play and have fun instead of being made to sit still. I know, it's so much to ask for parents to make such a sacrifice on behalf of their child.

If I had to leave the store or office I was in every time my daughter acted up, I would never get anything done. I mean, my responsibilities are just as important as yours: I need food in my refrigerator, bills paid, etc just like you do. And my almost two year old doesn't yet understand, so she can't be the one to dictate when I go to the store. We don't synch our calendars so I know when she'll be grumpy or throw a temper tantrum.

Besides, I think the last thing a parent should do is teach their children that responsibility can be set aside for playtime whenever they feel like it.

[the_std]

I don't have kids. If I did however, I'd teach them to be tolerant of people's differences, rather than derride them for not being the same.

No one is saying that everyone should be the same. I think everyone here is very, very tolerant of the range of people's differences. However, what we're not tolerant of is someone who will not take any personal responsibility and someone who blames others for their own problems.

[Cat]

No one is saying that everyone should be the same. I think everyone here is very, very tolerant of the range of people's differences. However, what we're not tolerant of is someone who will not take any personal responsibility and someone who blames others for their own problems.

This backed 100%

[violetyoshi]

No one is saying that everyone should be the same. I think everyone here is very, very tolerant of the range of people's differences. However, what we're not tolerant of is someone who will not take any personal responsibility and someone who blames others for their own problems.

Someone who won't take personal responsibility and blames others for their own problems? I know, that is something I'm working on. However, I wonder why it seems like rocket science for parents to understand their kid is acting up, take them elsewhere to calm down.

[the_std]

I wonder why it seems like rocket science for parents to understand their kid is acting up, take them elsewhere to calm down.

Sometimes, there is no reason. Or sometimes the parent knows the reason and can't change the situation. Parenting is not a + b = c. It's not nearly as easy as you make it seem.

Someone who won't take personal responsibility and blames others for their own problems? I know, that is something I'm working on.

This thread shows absolutely no evidence of that.

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

I wonder why it seems like rocket science for parents to understand their kid is acting up, take them elsewhere to calm down.

Sometimes, it is entirely appropriate for a parent to suck it up and leave and come back later. Most of the time, however, it's just not possible. Is it dinner time? Well, they can't WAIT to buy food for their children. Are their children out of diapers? Time to hit up the store. For example, I was taking my daughter by BUS to a doctor's appointment. She started crying very loudly because I wouldn't let her run around the MOVING VEHICLE. Was I supposed to get off the bus and miss her appointment so that the people on the bus wouldn't have to deal with it for a couple minutes? That's hardly fair either.

Also, leaving every time a child starts to cry about being forced to sit still, to allow them to play...that would be like buying them a toy every time they cried. It would spoil them rotten and wouldn't allow the parent to teach their children about responsibility and priorities.

[BlaqueKatt]

I'm sorry that happened to you. To be honest, I'd simply leave with my child, or take them home where they can play and have fun instead of being made to sit still. I know, it's so much to ask for parents to make such a sacrifice on behalf of their child.

yup because(remember I don't drive), i's soooo much easier to just stop doing grocery shopping-or laundry at the laundromat, or taking my child in for a doctor's appointment(these were all places he acted up), and just "do it later".

and by the way you are not the only person to have Hyperacusis-I also have it, (as does Mysty If I recall) and autism(and various other medical problems*-do I win?)-guess what? I've learned to deal with it, I am a mature adult that realizes I'm not the only person on the planet, and I don't expect EVERYONE to accommodate my issues-because they are MY issues, I'm not going to make them anyone else's. now that I no longer have custody of my son-I go grocery shopping at 3am, when I go out shopping during the day, I have earplugs or my Mp3 player(as does Mystyglittr). Heck I've seen Disturbed in concert 4x in the last 2 years-just saw Hollywood Undead in July-wearing EARPLUGS!

A container of reusable earplugs that hangs on your keychain is under $5.
A generic Mp3 player is around $20.
Both are viable solutions.
Expecting others to cater to you is not.


*life-threatening Latex allergy, one functioning kidney, torn PCL, Arthritis in my hands, knees and ankles, legally blind without my glasses(20/200 vision), migraines, asthma-yeah I'm a freakin' wreck. and that's just what I know about....

[violetyoshi]

Sometimes, it is entirely appropriate for a parent to suck it up and leave and come back later. Most of the time, however, it's just not possible. Is it dinner time? Well, they can't WAIT to buy food for their children. Are their children out of diapers? Time to hit up the store. For example, I was taking my daughter by BUS to a doctor's appointment. She started crying very loudly because I wouldn't let her run around the MOVING VEHICLE. Was I supposed to get off the bus and miss her appointment so that the people on the bus wouldn't have to deal with it for a couple minutes? That's hardly fair either.

Also, leaving every time a child starts to cry about being forced to sit still, to allow them to play...that would be like buying them a toy every time they cried. It would spoil them rotten and wouldn't allow the parent to teach their children about responsibility and priorities.

You know I was thinking, parents hate video games. However whenever I see a child that owns one, I think "At least it keeps them entertained and quiet" you can't put a price on that.

[the_std]

Are you serious?

What if the parent can't afford them? Or doesn't agree with them? Video games should not be treated as freaking pacifiers. "Here, play this and shut up!" is not a healthy way to raise a child. It's pretty obvious that you don't know what you're talking about.

[violetyoshi]

Are you serious?

What if the parent can't afford them? Or doesn't agree with them? Video games should not be treated as freaking pacifiers. "Here, play this and shut up!" is not a healthy way to raise a child. It's pretty obvious that you don't know what you're talking about.

Well actual pacifiers are much more affordable, however it seems parents are unable to afford those these days.

[the_std]

So what? What does that have to do with anything? You still cannot accept the fact that you are the only person responsible for dealing with your disability. No one should have to plug their kids' face-holes just because of you.