Stick to your guns

[DrFaroohk]

I try to "stick to my guns" with my stepson as far as enforcing rules and whatnot. I don't typically bend under whining and kicking and screaming and whatnot.

But sometimes a situation arises where my initial judgement is perhaps wrong. Like if when I put him to bed then he'll come out a little later and ask for his bedtime snack. But he already had a snack, so I'll say no. Followed by a nuclear meltdown tantrum, only for me to realize I forgot to give him his snack. So now I'm conflicted, because it is snack time and I was the one who fucked up and didn't get it for him, but at the same time I don't want him getting the idea that throwing a tantrum is the way to get what he wants.

[shroo]

Well, is he old enough to be reasoned with when he calms down? I would say stick to your guns and tell him no snack tonight (it's really not the end of the world if he doesn't get a cookie before bed, right?) then in the morning tell him that you realized he was right, but by that time he was not behaving himself so you could not reward that behavior. Calm=cookie, tantrum=empty tummy.
I know a little kid isn't the most reasonable creature on earth, but if he goes into super meltdown mode right away he needs to get out of that habit, and even if he is in the right you need to stick to your guns when it happens (obviously if it is something really freaking important that's different).

[DrFaroohk]

He's only 5, and not really "reasonable" at this age. Now that he's started school he's doing better though, although he annoys his teacher now too...lol...

[Nyoibo]

I'd say in that situation it's fair that you didn't give him a snack, ok you forgot, but he threw a tantrum instead of just saying "no you forgot".

[violetyoshi]

I think you should explain to him, that you were wrong and should've been more calm in the situation. He should've been more calm as well. That it was a misunderstanding, that you forgot, and even parents can make mistakes.

I'm glad you posted this. Most parents who are strict, don't seem to bother to show concern over these situations. They're like, "I said so!" or "That's the way it's gotta be!" or something.