How Dare You Be Responsible!

[blas87]

Yeah, thinking more of it, it probably would look cheap and rude to make guests pay for their drinks.....but I could also imagine myself as a bridezilla who would probably beat the living hell out of anyone who got so drunk at my reception that they were falling down or spilling things or breaking stuff.

That person isn't really a friend, just an acquaintance. Someone I don't go out of my way to hang out, more or less I sometimes see her out and about, and when I do, it's "oh shit"....cuz she'll rag on me for not being drunk or getting drunk or not being drunk enough, even though she won't dance or socialize with people, she'll piss and moan and berate me if I DARE have a quiet moment to myself at a table.....ugh. Yeah, like I said, I don't go out of my way to hang out with her. She is a mutual friend of the bride at the wedding I'm referring to.

[DesignFox]

Ah. that makes sense.

I imagine that, as a bride, you'd be so busy at the wedding that you wouldn't notice. And if your friend is so drunk that you do notice, they deserve to be dumped out on their ass! LOL

One wedding I went to, the couple had a compromise- open bar, but they only served beer and wine. No hard liquor. A little less expensive, not rude by any stretch, and probably helped keep any hardcore boozers in line...at least a little.

The friends who had the cash bar, I almost would have preferred no bar. My then BF and I had taken rooms at the hotel so we could get a little sloshed and not go anywhere...then didn't have enough cash on us for the bar to have made taking the rooms "worth" it (nor did we feel like spending that much on booze, anyway). We didn't plan to get dropping on the floor sloppy drunk...just drunk enough not to be driving.

[blas87]

I guess it doesn't help that the reception was at a club and there was free beer....which beer itself isn't that alcoholic....unless you go through several pitchers of it in just a couple of hours.

To be honest, I felt bad for my bride friend....the groom was so drunk he could barely walk by the time we left....I was sure he'd pass out the second they got home or would have some bad whiskey dick. I told my boyfriend that if we ever get married and he gets that drunk on our wedding night, he'd be in the ER with a stilleto heel shoved several inches up his ass.

Edit to add: I don't like to come across as a total goody two shoes or anything....I totally understand if people need a drink or two to loosen up....especially in situations like weddings where they may be a guest of a guest and not know anyone, and if a couple of drinks helps you make new friends, more power to you. I just think a lot of people behaved very inappropriately that night, and my friends who got married are obviously a lot nicer and more understanding than I'd be. There's a difference between having a good time and using alcohol as social ambiance....and using it just to have fun period.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

At my wedding, I had a cash bar because I had guests who I knew would drink waaaay too much and act like idiots.

I also had a full, high-end, sit down supper of really top notch food. And I was also very generous with champagne...there were bottles of the stuff on each table.

After that, you were on your own. I hoped the fact that it was not free beyond the champagne would keep the drunken horseshit to a minimum. I did have drunken horseshit anyways, but it was, as I hoped, kept to a minimum.

It's not like these people weren't feted in style. Trust me, we didn't feel cheap or tacky.

Hey, Blas, get some AA business cards and give her one next time she starts up. That ought to be fun.

[Peppergirl]

Like my mom always told me, 'there's nothing tackier than a drunken bride'.



I've been to weddings where the bride and groom were the drunkest people in the crowd. It was disturbing, to say the least.

[blas87]

The bride chose not to drink......of course, she had a soda pop with supper.....but just ONE trip to the bathroom in that gigantic heavy dress, she realized what she'd be dealing with if she drank alcohol and "broke the seal".

[Talon]

Like my mom always told me, 'there's nothing tackier than a drunken bride'.

Yes there is something tackier. Like a bride or groom who has to pause the ceremony to answer his/her cellphone

/endthreadjack

[DesignFox]

<snip>

To be honest, I felt bad for my bride friend....the groom was so drunk he could barely walk by the time we left....
<snip>

I would so kill my BF if he did that...that is so tacky. Silly drunk is one thing. Passing out as soon as you get home drunk? What an ass.

Kinkoid- that doesn't sound like a bad compromise...I would dig having free champagne.

Personally, I just feel like you should give your guests booze or not. I wouldn't ask them to pay for it. I know the wedding is expsensive and all that, but it just seems tacky to me if your guests feel the need to have cash on them. When I go to a wedding, I do also try to be generous with my gift...like I try to gauge what I think my presence cost and at least cover that. There was only one time my guest and I were thinking...oh shit...we should have put more money in the card. The wedding was over the top crazy huge, enough fancy food to feed 6 armies for a month (buffet cocktail hour, THEN 3 course dinner, THEN buffet dessert), live band, open bar. And not just your run of the mill open bar...we were doing shots and they had every liquor imaginable available.... (It was incredible)

Every situation is different though. (Like the religious one I described, or the cases being discussed here where you KNOW your friends will act like animals otherwise)

*shrug* I'd never make a comment to my friends about something like that. It's just not what I would do. Not that I'm particularly worried about it... *sigh*

[LadyMage]

my wedding was top shelf free bar, but then my friends, family and other attendees aren't known for getting shitfaced at formal parties like that, or where underage and wouldn't be able to anyways

I didn't drink (I hate the taste of every booze I have tried so far) my husband had a glass of the bubbly and even the heaviest drinkers of our group just had a few cocktails and looked classy

however if I thought even one person would be a drunkard, there would only be champagne, if only cause I am married to a Russian and his family would have killed me if I didn't XD. the main reason behind that is that if anyone I knew would go out of their way to be plastered to have a good time, they will bring money for a cash bar and do so regardless. Besides I honestly thing a cash bar is a bit tacky myself, if only cause the guests aren't paying for anything else.

I honestly don't get the whole "I need to get wasted to have a good time" or the crowd that says "you should get shitfaced or at least tipsy once in your life" NO! I hate the taste and smell of booze, I don't like the idea of having to lose control of my mind or body in anyway nor do I want to deal with the aftermath the next morning (lets just say if I ingest anything bad, my stomach will let me know and will get rid of it ASAP)

at another party of mine a friend, with some training in bartending, asked if he could bring some drinks to mix. I said OK, being nice and thinking 'oh no big deal' fucker took over my kitchen while I was cooking and baking for everyone, got drunk on three drinks in less then a minute (we still don't know how he didn't end up sick or dead) and even kissed me on the cheek (almost killed him for that) not to mention ran around like a damn fool, almost hurt himself on walls and a glass cabinet door and worried all of us to death. I pretty much hold dry parties now, unless its three people or less (maybe five at most). So I basically hate the idea of getting drunk for a good time

Oddly this same friend was well behaved at my wedding, so it was a one time thing, but it was enough to ban booze from my house parties (my husbands on the other hand are at his alone, so I'll let him deal with that when it happens)

[Nyoibo]

I honestly don't get the whole "I need to get wasted to have a good time" or the crowd that says "you should get shitfaced or at least tipsy once in your life" NO! I hate the taste and smell of booze, I don't like the idea of having to lose control of my mind or body in anyway nor do I want to deal with the aftermath the next morning

Usually they go hand in hand, simply because until you've tried something you can't really understand it.

I was taught to be a good host which usually entails ensuring everyone has drinks and such, I will however if told they don't drink then only offer them softdrink after that

[Flyndaran]

I've been drunk a couple of time in my life. I never became incapable of controlling my actions mentally. Physically, I couldn't have walked a straight line.
I wonder about all those people that suddenly become asses when drunk. I don't believe that isn't their innate nature poking through.

[LadyMage]

that is all well and good, but maybe I don't want to know what in entails, and people know that I usually have dry parties since 18-20 year olds go to the parties I host and would rather not risk giving them booze (also there is a law where I live where if you give someone under the legal drinking age, they can take away your house if you are caught, so its either card my friends or just don't have booze)

personally 'drinks' to me mean soda, water, juice, not booze. If I have booze in the house and you are legal then by all means help yourself, but don't expect me to stock up, since it will just sit in the fridge and turn into vinegar anyways otherwise

[BroomJockey]

I never became incapable of controlling my actions mentally. Physically, I couldn't have walked a straight line.
I wonder about all those people that suddenly become asses when drunk. I don't believe that isn't their innate nature poking through.

Read some studies. People act like that before they're even technically drunk because they think that's how they should act. And then later, when they're really drunk, their perceptions are distorted, they think they're fine, and that's when they do stuff like drive drunk.

So unless you have a sober person's corroboration, those times you were drunk, you were probably pretty fucked up mentally, too.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Booze brings out your mood and your personality.

This is a problem if you are an angry asshole. Or a maudlin sap.

While I might use booze to steady myself if I'm full of nerves or upset at home, I would never go out drinking in a bad mood. I know enough to know that it will not help that situation.

[LadyMage]

broom, kink, thank you

those are other reasons I don't drink, people think I might be a happy drunk if I do, but I don't know, and don't want to risk it, I could be the sap or the asshole and don't know it.