Autism as a reason to misbehave

[gremcint]

That guy is a twat. Autistic or not, he needs to stay away from women solely cuz he's a total twat and women deserve better.

Agree completely just thought you guys might find a real world example interesting, especially seeing as how I just came across this.


I find it really hard to offer opinions on these subjects because I am far from an expert. For example Idrinkarum mentioned one time when her child wanted broken fingers, that sentence alone told me how little I knew about autism.

I think that it applies to any disability (temporary or permanent) at all, but autism is an easier excuse to use because everyone knows the limitations of a broken leg but not everyone really understands what autism is so they get away with using it more and extending it to other things.

[Boozy]

For example Idrinkarum mentioned one time when her child wanted broken fingers, that sentence alone told me how little I knew about autism.

I've heard non-autistic children say weird things like that. If a young child has never broken a bone, they won't understand that it would be painful and debilitating; they can only picture it being a certain way. They might envy their friend's cast with colourful drawings and signatures all over it, for example.

Saying illogical things is not a trait particular to autistic children.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Ha. XD I remember once as a child wanting a broken arm like my friend's; she not only got to miss school, but everyone was being super nice to her. XD

[violetyoshi]

So you'd rather the parent do nothing than over react in that fashion? I'm not surprised. Personally, I don't think a "child" would do that. You're not going to get that kind of thought pattern until they're a teen. A child would do whatever just to get mommy to calm down.

Not everything is black and white. It doesn't have to be discipline or no discipline. If other people are around, or if someone is looking at the DVDs. The proper thing is to save your little lesson for another time.

I agree you're not going to get that kind of thought pattern until someone is a teen. Should we wait until a child becomes an extremely risk-taking rebellious teenager, because they were aggressively disciplined by an autocratic parent? I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of posts, suggesting otherwise, but if there is respect in a family then teenagers have little to rebel against usually.

I understand they're children, as well as I understand it's very hard for overwhelmed mothers to leave "their own world" long enough to understand, that strangers don't want to be privy to a paternal tantrum. All you have to do is be an adult and take care of the situation quickly. Not stand around stomping your feet and yelling at your kids to pick something up, causing stress for everyone else.

[Lace Neil Singer]

If the child is very young tho, by the time you get home they would have forgotten about what happened; children tend to live solely in the present. In which case, they'd be bewildered and upset at Mum suddenly telling them off and punishing them. In the case of small children, you have to discipline them on the spot; tho it's true that doesn't have to consist of Mum screaming at her kids. A firm correction, in a level tone will do a lot more than shouting and screaming will cuz it shows you have control. An observer would have to be braindead to view a mother telling her child, "No, stop that right now" and removing her child from the situation as abusive. -.-

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I understand they're children, as well as I understand it's very hard for overwhelmed mothers to leave "their own world" long enough to understand, that strangers don't want to be privy to a paternal tantrum. All you have to do is be an adult and take care of the situation quickly. .

Actually, no you don't understand this.

Which is why I find the tomes and tomes of parenting advice you post on this forum to be rather puzzling.

[DesignFox]

Disciplining a child or asking them to pick up a mess they made is not going to cause enough of a scene for me to flip over. I may take notice if the child is really kicking up a fuss, or mom really has to raise her voice, but generally, I'm applauding the parent for dealing with the situation.

Of course I'd rather not see stuff like that. But it's a part of life! I'd much rather see a kid getting told off for making a mess than watching Mom or Dad stroll on by, leaving a path that looks like a tornado went through. That shit pisses me off more than anything. How do you think kids learn respect? How else do they learn to take responsibility for their actions? How do kids learn how they are supposed to behave in public if the parents don't correct them?

And Lace is right. Kids, especially young ones, live IN THE MOMENT. You cannot wait to administer discipline. By the time you do, they will have forgotten what lesson they were supposed to have learned and will only become frustrated.

Toddlers need to be handled much like animals in many cases. A lot of patience, repetition, swift discipline, but NOT abuse.

[Flyndaran]

If the child is very young tho, by the time you get home they would have forgotten about what happened; children tend to live solely in the present. In which case, they'd be bewildered and upset at Mum suddenly telling them off and punishing them. In the case of small children, you have to discipline them on the spot; tho it's true that doesn't have to consist of Mum screaming at her kids. A firm correction, in a level tone will do a lot more than shouting and screaming will cuz it shows you have control. An observer would have to be braindead to view a mother telling her child, "No, stop that right now" and removing her child from the situation as abusive. -.-

Wow, what species is my family.
I thought and remembered things from age 3 on. I noticed that all my friends had favorite numbers. I knew that the number itself didn't matter as luck didn't exist, so at age 5 I decided that that was a good a number as any, so I chose 5.
I had trouble controlling my emotions, but thoughts were always clear and appropriate to the situation.
I realized at 6 that my Sunday school teachers actually believed the stories/parables they told. That made me talk to my christian father and realize that I was what was called an atheist.

I guess I should just say that I have no idea how to think of let alone discipline a human child.

[violetyoshi]

Actually, no you don't understand this.

Which is why I find the tomes and tomes of parenting advice you post on this forum to be rather puzzling.

I don't understand what I'm missing. Do I need to have bred to understand these things?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

For you to understand it to the level that you think you do? Yes.

[Flyndaran]

For you to understand it to the level that you think you do? Yes.

I doubt it. Unless he says things that no parent ever thought, then his opinion is as valid as anyone's.
The only things that non-parents may underestimate are children's periodic spewing of verbal venom, lack of sleeping, and of course mind-numbing volume.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Same goes for you, Flynn.

Look, it was not so long ago that I was you. I remember.

I didn't know shit.

[IDrinkaRum]

I'm a mommy and I know everything!

Well, sort of ... and only on certain days, at certain hours, usually in the deepest darkest pit of night ... and then the Unicorns have to be dancing Swan Lake and ...

Where was I going with this?



One must walk a mile in my Crocs before they can say they know what I should do with my child.

I really want to say that to those judgemental idiots who don't understand the intricacies of having an Autistic Child. Like those people who glare at me because my daughter wants to get up and dance to the music in the restaurant. Or when my daughter gets scared of an aisle and we have to back up and I'm impeeding the flow of traffic in the store. Or when my daughter has a metldown for no other reason than becuase the floor looked at her funny.

*sigh*

I'm letting my blood pressure get too high.

Need to get a few fuzzy head bonks from my cat.

And guess what? He's right next to me.

[Flyndaran]

...
One must walk a mile in my Crocs before they can say they know what I should do with my child.

...D

Umm, fortunately the law doesn't agree with you. Laws protecting and "policing" parents are made by politicians hopefully listening to experts rather than only parents.
I don't need a doctor to have had a disease to treat me. Serviceable education can be gotten without experiencing it.

Kids are mostly little uneducated adults with poor self control. It isn't alien biology we're talking about here.
Heck, you might even call recalling our own childhoods useful experience, unless you're dealing with special needs kids that you don't also suffer from.

[violetyoshi]

For you to understand it to the level that you think you do? Yes.

Alrighty then.