Burnt Out From Listening to Friend's Problems

[Greenday]

I just can't do it anymore. I mean, I know I whine sometimes, but it's usually about nothing major that my friends can't relate to. I have one friend who it's just nothing but problems with. And it started out with stuff I could relate to. Family you don't like. Can't find a job. Fine, that sucks.

But then we get to real heavy stuff. Like why am I the ONLY person you ever told this stuff to? This is stuff you should be telling a psychiatrist, not me. I mean, I'm glad they finally came out and told someone, but it needs to stop being me. Especially when you say you think I'm going to tell other people in one of those "I have a friend who..." If you are going to start a story like that, don't tell it cause I don't want to hear it.

[blas87]

I feel for ya.

One of our pals is now thisclose to getting blacklisted from going out with us, because he ruins all of our fun.....once he gets a few drinks in him, he just starts going on and on about his divorce and his ex and it ruins everyone's fun.

[Slytovhand]

My ex would only tell me the bad stuff in her life, and not any of the good stuff (like how her kids were going).

So, one day I decided that I really didn't want to hear it... either give me both sides, or neither. I told her that I wasn't her I was no longer her unpaid private counsellor... she didn't like that! Made my life a hell of a lot better.

Not sure how things operate in the US, but I'm pretty sure there's hotlines and the likes that they can call if they're getting down about it all.

Or, sort of do what I did to a mate of 18 years...

Next time you meet up with said person, start in with "Hey, I need to talk to you. You see, I've got this friend who is always down and negative, and it's really starting to depress me. All they do is complain about stuff, and tell me stories I really don't want to be hearing. Because that's all I'm hearing, I don't want to be around them, and I just wish they'd stop. What do you think I should do?"

After you get an answer... (most likely "I think you should tell them how you feel"... "I just did!"), then you've got your answer....

(FTR, I ended up letting that 18 year friendship go....haven't really heard from him since... partly cos I suspect he felt betrayed!)

[kiwi]

once he gets a few drinks in him, he just starts going on and on about his divorce and his ex and it ruins everyone's fun.

on a lighter note, the BF and I have a friend we go out with on occasion who is a lightweight and when he gets drunk he starts talking about how he is really gay but only in a "if I had to" instance like prison... WTF!!

then the next day he always calls and apologizes about talking about taking "a shot in the mouth" in prison and becoming someones bitch on the first night so he can get drugs.

nice one there buddy... thanks for the visual image! His girlfriend always looks daggers at him, everyone else just laughs. I have wondered if he is bi though, it wouldn't surprise me at all.

drunk people are funny

[Greenday]

Dear God in heaven, she IMed me last night on AIM and told me she is sorry for always going to be with these problems and that she is going to stop. It's like she read this thread or something.