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**Rapscallion** · 10-13-2009, 10:35 PM

Seems to be a bit of honesty going on from the blokes.

When the ladies aren't around, it's referred to as 'the wedding'. When women are talking when blokes are around or not, it's 'our wedding'. The day's not about the groom - he just has to go through the pain of a best man's speech and nod and smile when told he should. It's the bride's day.

Granted, I think the chap should be at least presentable, so I can't understand the trend you've noticed, but it's not about him at all.

Rapscallion

**Boozy** · 10-13-2009, 10:51 PM

If the women want to get dressed up, and the guys don't, and both parties are okay with what the other wants.... who cares?

Most of the disheveled grooms I've seen have been at "destination" weddings. The couple wants a free-spirited beach wedding with comfy guests and a casual atmosphere, but the bride doesn't want to sacrifice the dress and all the fixings. The pictures end up looking a bit lopsided. But so what? The couple will still be able to look back and them and have fond memories.

**DesignFox** · 10-14-2009, 03:13 AM

Well, like I said in my OP. Whatever makes them happy.

*I* think it's pretty disrespectful.

Funny, Raps. Both my BF and my Dad said exactly what you did- "it's all about her."

That being said, to *ME* it's either a formal wedding or a casual wedding. Whatever it is, I still feel like the groom should show up at least not looking like a slob.

I wouldn't want my wedding photos to look like I'm standing there next to a guest. The last set of photos I looked at (guy with un-tucked shirt), the only reason I knew that guy was the groom was because of the photo of the couple in front of the minister, and the photos of them dancing and kissing. At first, I really thought it was just any guy.

Anyway. That's my opinion. I've noticed it. I don't understand it. I wouldn't appreciate it if my guy did that to me.

**blas87** · 10-14-2009, 03:46 AM

I 100% agree with the OP, but I'm really partial. I don't like scruffy unkept men.

My biggest thing about my friend's wedding, other than the booze shenanigans of course, was the fact that there were people who showed up to their wedding in jeans and tshirts! The bride, bridesmaids, groom, groomsmen, family of the bride and groom, all dressed up fancy and looking good....and it's like these people just woke up, threw something from the floor on to wear, and went to the wedding.

It's one thing if it's a theme wedding or the couple declares it a "casual attire" wedding, it's another to just show up at a wedding looking like you're going to work at a lumber yard.

Unfortunately, over half of my extended family is known for doing that, too. It's pretty annoying when there are weddings or funerals in my family.....some of them come straight off the farm, and certainly smelling of it, right to the service.

**DesignFox** · 10-14-2009, 04:06 AM

I noticed that at one or two weddings I went to, also blas.

I went to a REALLY fancy wedding..a friend of my Ex. I mean, holy shit, this wedding was fancy. It was a huge Italian, Catholic wedding.

Some douche-mo-tron showed up to the church in ripped jeans and a sweat-stained t-shirt with holes in it. As if that wasn't disrespectful enough, this asshole has the audacity to leave his CELL PHONE on during the ceremony. And when did it ring? Right during the VOWS. The VOWS! And he didn't turn it off! He ran from the middle of the very large church, out through the back with it STILL RINGING, and stepped outside to answer it! DURING THE VOWS!

And at the end, when everyone was exiting and greeting the couple...knucklehead walks right up to them as if nothing happened.

I was more incensed about the cell phone than his attire...but it made him all the more memorable as an ass-hat. (I mean, honestly, shit could hit the fan and that was all he had to wear and he just had to get there...maybe he was going to get changed before the reception because he was coming from some type of work he had been doing...etc. but the phone ringing..unforgivable...put the damn thing on vibrate if you're having an emergency and you need to be near the phone..or god forbid, hit the SILENCE button as soon as it goes off).

Gah. Respect. It's all about respect. (again, why I'm ranting over here. I would NEVER EVER EVER say something like this to someone who's photos I was perusing. If they are happy, I would NOT spoil it with my comments.)

**AdminAssistant** · 10-14-2009, 04:52 AM

When Sis and BIL were planning their wedding, she did consider his opinions. He picked some of the music, planned the rehearsal dinner (with his family), and they comprimised. Sis wanted all the guys in tuxes for the wedding, but it was cowboy boots and jeans for the rehearsal dinner and the latter half of the reception (after she changed out of her dress). She let him have the biggest, baddest bachelor party he wanted....weeks before the wedding!! It's all about compromise, people.

I wouldn't be so rude as to comment on someone's wedding photos...but I do agree that a sloppy looking groom standing next to a perfectly poised bride just looks odd. It's not that hard to comb your hair, shave, and stand around in a tux for a couple of hours.

**Giggle Goose** · 10-14-2009, 04:10 PM

*shrug* Some people are ok with that. If they are, I am too and I wouldn't let it bother me.

I wouldn't be ok, personally. Especially if MY family was paying for the wedding. The groom damn well better clean himself up!

**blas87** · 10-14-2009, 04:22 PM

This makes me almost wish I hadn't done overtime the weekend of my cousin's wedding.

Now, I come from a plain old middle class Joe Blow family (immediate family and most of my aunts and uncles), but we know how to clean up very well and we know how to eat a fancier type of place or setting (aka, where there's multiple utensils for multiple courses).

Well, my cousin married this guy who just has money out the wazoo.....so this wedding and reception were even more fancy than what most are used to. Especially those few I'm embarrassed of in my family who don't know how to eat anything without just their hands or one fork or one knife....and damn if there isn't ranch dressing or BBQ sauce.....I can only IMAGINE how they felt when they sat down and there were several forks and knives and spoons around them.

I nearly peed a bit thinking of that.

**guywithashovel** · 10-14-2009, 11:41 PM

I'll agree that a casually-dressed groom standing next to an elegantly-dressed bride looks strange, but if the couple in question is okay with it, then who am I to object?

Even though I would like to get married someday, weddings tend to irritate me. It bewilders me that people put themselves through so much stress and misery over planning a "perfect wedding" when it's supposed to be a happy time.

**MergedLoki** · 10-15-2009, 10:02 AM

I would think the groom would want to at least look good for the woman he's marrying (or i suppose the man he's marrying if you're up here in Canada :P).

I mean I'll, most likely, eventually get married. and honestly besides having my friends/family there i dont give one damn about the day because it's the brides day.

**DesignFox** · 10-15-2009, 03:18 PM

Originally posted by MergedLoki View Post

I would think the groom would want to at least look good for the woman he's marrying ....
<snip>

That's what I would have thought, too.

That's why it just irritates me to see it.

I know when I'm finally lucky enough that that day comes, I want to look my best so my man is proud to be standing next to me. I would *think* he'd feel the same way...at least in the sense that he knows it would make me happy to see him all cleaned up.

**IDrinkaRum** · 10-15-2009, 09:52 PM

This is what me & Mr. Rum looked on our wedding day. We agreed on the colors (purple and green) and the groom & his groomsmen wore purple and my 2 bridesmaids & matron of honor all wore green.

I just wish he'd re-grow his mustache back. *le sigh* I miss it.

**AdminAssistant** · 10-15-2009, 10:54 PM

Purple and green is a lovely combo, Rummy!! I like it.

**DesignFox** · 10-16-2009, 06:07 PM

Ooooh Rum! Very nice! I like the color combo a lot!

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