That I Can't Be Happy...

[AdminAssistant]

for my friends.

I have lots of friends that are getting married, in new relationships, having children, or are otherwise doing well in life - due to their posts on Facebook. I know I should post my congratulations....but I can't. Seeing it just makes me feel heartsick.

I'm 26 freakin' years old, and I've only had a few relationships. Don't feel like I can attract anyone in my current state (overweight). Don't have the ambition or ability to do much about that. I'm struggling with my classes and wondering if I've made a terrible, horrible decision. Do I even belong here? I keep waiting for somebody to send me back to the farm....inferiority complex to the max. I tend not to say things in class or rehearsal, because I'm so afraid it will be wrong and I'll look stupid. Teaching is a little better, but I'm still afraid. What if I say something wrong? What if I don't answer their question enough? Will they give me a low evaluation? Will I get kicked out of the program?

I'm depressed, I'm completely stressed out, and I just need a vacation. A real vacation, not a break from school where I try to catch up on my work and fail. I've never gone on a vacation as an adult. I wouldn't have anyone to go with...well, friends, but they're also grad students and are dealing with many of my problems.

I dunno, I guess being dumped last month has just sent me into a long downward spiral. I'll climb out eventually, always do. But right now...I'm just...meh.

And on top of that, I feel like a horrible friend.

[Greenday]

I'm depressed, I'm completely stressed out, and I just need a vacation. A real vacation, not a break from school where I try to catch up on my work and fail. I've never gone on a vacation as an adult. I wouldn't have anyone to go with...well, friends, but they're also grad students and are dealing with many of my problems.

I dunno, I guess being dumped last month has just sent me into a long downward spiral. I'll climb out eventually, always do. But right now...I'm just...meh.

I've been saying this to my friends for the past two weeks. I need a tropical vacation, right now. AdminAssistant, I nominate you to be my partner in crime on this trip. Spring Break. We're going to the Bahamas!

I've been kinda hung up on my ex...since we broke up last October...I was the one who broke the relationship up. Man is that a mind trip.

[Flyndaran]

Ah, my one term at a university coincided with my first breakup AND my anxiety crossing a nasty threshold.
That was many years ago, but I am much happier now. I've had a wonderful, overweight as well, girlfriend for 11 years this Halloween. My anxiety hasn't improved much, but I nevertheless like my life.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not a train.

[AdminAssistant]

AdminAssistant, I nominate you to be my partner in crime on this trip. Spring Break. We're going to the Bahamas!

Woo-hoo! I'm really hoping that next semester will not be as hellish as this one. Because this one is kicking my ass.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not a train.

Well, that's the best news I've heard in a while.

One of the things that's compounding all of this is the show I'm working on - The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams. One of my favorite plays by one of my favorite playwrights, but damn it's depressing! Night after night of Jim breaking Laura's heart is a bit much.

[McDreidel09]

AA, things may seem tough now, but in the end, you will be a stronger person. If you can get through this semester, then there is no semester that you can't get through.

As for the relationship, I know it's difficult to be broken up with and feeling like you aren't doing well just because of your age and not having a relationship. This is going to sound weird coming from someone who is 8 years younger than you, but you're still young and you're doing something important with your life. My grandmother tells me all the time to focus on schooling. Maybe this will help you,since it is a tough semester.

I'm sorry if I wasn't very comforting. I tried.

[DesignFox]

for my friends.

I have lots of friends that are getting married, in new relationships, having children, or are otherwise doing well in life - due to their posts on Facebook. I know I should post my congratulations....but I can't. Seeing it just makes me feel heartsick.

<snip>

Ugh. I just signed up for Facebook a few weeks ago. I can so sympathize. I generally post my congrats since, it's not like I've got to say it face to face. If I did, I'm afraid my facial expression might give away the real thoughts in my head.

I'm happy for my friends. Truly. But it's hard sifting through those engagement announcements, wedding photos, baby photos, etc. I sorta hoped to have been at that point by now (well, not so much the kids thing- but I was hoping to be living with a life-partner by now).

I keep reminding myself that good things come to those who wait. I can't rush life. Hopefully, by the time I'm making the engagement announcement, it'll be a good solid one, with the best match for me and my lifestyle. And I do see that not EVERYONE is married or engaged or even in a relationship... so, I mean, look at your single friend's pages, too. They'll remind you that it isn't just you...there's certainly nothing wrong with where either of us are in life.

I hope you feel better AA. I don't *know* how you feel...but I've had feelings similar to what you've described. *hugs*

[AdminAssistant]

Thanks a lot, guys.

[Greenday]

Just facebook creep me and you won't see a hint of marriage or dating or anything of that.

[Peppergirl]

Oh, honey - you'll be just fine.

And I can relate -

I find the same thing with Facebook, only I'm 22 years out of school - so there's alot of my old peers that are extremely successful and happy looking. I find myself wanting to be glad for them, but instead start seething with jealousy sometimes. It's really hard, and you're only human for feeling that way.

And to Greenday and others about the breakups. I am 7 months out of cutting all ties with my ex fiance and I still feel broken. Even though I'm alot better than I was when it first happened, I think about him every single day still, and I miss him like crazy.

I can't offer much in the way of advice, but I'm hoping it makes you feel better to know you're not alone in your feelings.

[Flyndaran]

...
And I can relate -

I find the same thing with Facebook, only I'm 22 years out of school - so there's alot of my old peers that are extremely successful and happy looking. I find myself wanting to be glad for them, but instead start seething with jealousy sometimes. It's really hard, and you're only human for feeling that way.

...
I can't offer much in the way of advice, but I'm hoping it makes you feel better to know you're not alone in your feelings.

Ain't that the truth? With my anxiety, I can't get a job or go to college without going nuts. Now in our thirties, even my youngest lazy layabout brother has got a nice paying job he loves.
Life is never just. You just got to find happiness whenever and wherever you can regardless of others actions or feelings. I know, easier said that done. But it's how I try to live my life.
I don't want to become bitter pessimists like my grandparents that stay in a loveless marriage out of laziness.

[jackfaire]

One of the things that's compounding all of this is the show I'm working on - The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams. One of my favorite plays by one of my favorite playwrights, but damn .

Completely off topic but my highschool did this play so for the cast party a couple cast members did a parody called The Glass Swizel Sticks

[AdminAssistant]

Completely off topic but my highschool did this play so for the cast party a couple cast members did a parody called The Glass Swizel Sticks

Probably taken from Christopher Durang's For Whom the Southern Belle Tolls, a parody of The Glass Menagerie in which the character of Laura is subsituted with a son, Lawrence, who collects swizzle sticks instead of glass animals. (His "Gentleman Caller" is a lesbian named Ginny.) Also, Second City (the famous Chicago improv troupe) has a skit called "Glass Mamet", that is basically what would happen if David Mamet revised The Glass Menagerie.

ETA: There's stuff I want to add to this, but I keep forgetting and I'm tired and stressed....but eventually, there will be an update, whenever I get a chance to clear my cluttered brain a little.

[Fashion Lad!]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Someone people really are late bloomers in life and relationships.

One of my friends posted on facebook about how they bought a new house. And they always brag about their Honda Pilot. Which is fine. Good for them, they have nice things.

Something happened to the Pilot and they couldn't afford the $725 to fix it. Yeah, they have nice things but can they actually afford them? I just bought a 2007 Jeep Grand Cherokee. One of my friends call me Mr. Money. He's swimming in debt right now because right after college he got a decent job, but was laid off. He was still paying for someone to mow his lawn and he's looking at bankruptcy... but on the surface, it looks like he's doing a lot better than me. I'm living with my parents until I'm done with school in June. I pay them rent. People make fun of me... but honestly, I don't mind. This environment has been a lot more conducive to my studies. Only one quarter where I didn't make 4.0. My savings is swelling again... I'm happy.

[Boozy]

And they always brag about their Honda Pilot.

Maybe it's because I'm tired, but this made me laugh out loud.

Who the hell brags about owning a Honda?

This bugger of a recession has really changed things.

[Fashion Lad!]

Maybe it's because I'm tired, but this made me laugh out loud.

Who the hell brags about owning a Honda?

This bugger of a recession has really changed things.

LOL! Indeed, the recession really has changed things. But the Pilot is more high-end in the Honda lineup.