People who say stupid things . . .

[jackfaire]

How about after you get your haircut all the people who go: "you got a haircut"

Actually that one isn't always dumb. I would even say most times it's not some people it is hard to tell if they have gotten a haircut or just styled their hair differently and I try not to assume they got a haircut.

[Slytovhand]

I must have 'matured' a little, as I'm a tad less sarcastic these days - and more assertive.

So, instead of the angry snarky comment, I'm more likely to ask "Did you bother to think about that question before you asked it?" - such as for the lost keys/ broken mailbox incident.

But damn it shits me to tears when I get "Why don't you cut your hair?" (remembering that it's past my belt). Well, shit for brains, cos I like having long hair!!!

[Boozy]

"Why don't you cut your hair" = I am expressing my own personal distaste for your hair. But my mother told me not to insult people. So I'm being "clever" and phrasing my insult as a "suggestion".

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Here's one: "Why don't you get your husband to cut his hair?"

Could this statement be any more passive agressive?

[RavenStarr]

How about when you have a sore throat, runny nose, sneezing, coughing,and aching all over. On top of that you have completely lost your voice. Then some moron asks: Are you sick?

[protege]

Then some moron asks: Are you sick?

That's when you puke on them Seriously though, when I get asked that, I'm so tempted to reply "No you idiot, I enjoy being miserable and hacking up hairballs"

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"So, when are you guys having another baby?"

I'm pushing 50.

I bet when I am 80, should I be so lucky, I'll still b e getting that.

Oh, here's one of my favorites:

"Why are you so careful what you eat? You aren't fat."

I get pissed just being on this thread. Gaaaaah.

When do you need it? "As soon as possible." Really, asshole? Next year sometime okay? What if that is what is possible? Moron.

[BroomJockey]

When do you need it? "As soon as possible." Really, asshole? Next year sometime okay? What if that is what is possible? Moron.

Would "what's the fastest you can do it?" qualify as that too, because I realize I've used that, and it's kinda similar to ASAP. I'd hate to be one of "those" people, and it wouldn't be too much effort for me to start giving actual time estimates.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, I guess it could be construed that way' but really, I guess that really means "can I get it now?" which is not an unreasonable request. I suppose I am splitting hairs here. In your case, you are basically asking what what my fastest turnaround is for your job. In the case I cited, the person is saying "I want it at an unspecified time, which I am not going to tell you, but if it's late, I'm going to lose my shit."

There is a subtle difference here.

What I find so annoying about ASAP is, is that you are saying you have no idea what the turnaround is, but you are going to say that is when you need it. Which we all know is BS.

Conversation usually goes like this

When do you need it?
ASAP
No, really, tell me when your project is due.
I dont care. As soon as possible.
How about next month?
What? No, I need it before then!
So, when before then do you need it?

I am tired of having that conversation.

Your conversation, on the other hand, goes like this.

When do you need it?
Oh. Well, I'm in a hurry. What is the soonest you can get it to me?
And hour okay? Got a few things ahead of you.
Cool. Thanks!

See, the second exchange is more like the sort of conversation that an intelligent person might have.

[BroomJockey]

Well, I guess it could be construed that way' but really, I guess that really means "can I get it now?" which is not an unreasonable request. I suppose I am splitting hairs here. In your case, you are basically asking what what my fastest turnaround is for your job. In the case I cited, the person is saying "I want it at an unspecified time, which I am not going to tell you, but if it's late, I'm going to lose my shit."

There is a subtle difference here.

Ah, yes, I do see the difference. I ask mostly because we're ditching our ancient colour printer at work, and not replacing it, so we're sending a lot of work over to the copy shop now, so I'll be having this conversation on a semi-regular basis. And I do NOT want to piss off these guys.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I will thank you on their behalf.

Things to never say in a situation like this:

1. Oh, I don't have a deadline. Whatever. ASAP. (they all mean the same thing.
2. I don't care, use your judgment.

Yes, you do have a deadline, and yes, you do care. If my asap is next year and my judgment is your resume on hot pink paper, I guaren damn tee you will have a preference.

[gremcint]

Actually that one isn't always dumb. I would even say most times it's not some people it is hard to tell if they have gotten a haircut or just styled their hair differently and I try not to assume they got a haircut.

Then ask me if I got my haircut. I don't need to be informed that I got a haircut I'm already well aware.

[kiwi]

I always find silence is the best answer for stupidity

"I can't find my keys"
"Oh did you loose them"
*raise your eyebrows and look at them*
....

let the silence echo in their brain for 30 seconds, they will usually realise that they have just said the obvious and shift into go mode.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"What does your husband think about you blowing town without him for a week?"

I've actually answered this question with "Well, if you are interested in knowing what my husband and I discussed about it privately, I suggest you ask him."

You know what? Nobody's ever taken me up on that. Strange.

"Can I have this now or do I have to wait a second?"

"What time do you close?" (after being told Kinko's is open 24 hours)

"Do you fool around?"

I took particular offense at some dumb chick that asked me if my boyfriend was happy when she saw I was pregnant. First off, why is your first thought that I'm not married? Second, I'm 42 (at the time) years old. Refer to question 1. Dumbass.

"Man, I hate seeing all these white girls going around with black guys." (said to me while I was on the arm of my fairly obviously mixed race husband.

"So, why don't you have kids? No, really, why don't you?"

Oh, here is one that REALLY pisses me off because it's SO manipulative and SO transparent...."So, I bet your boyfriend (fill in the blank)." Nice try, transparently manipulative douchebag.

[blas87]

Here's a new one from recently:

"Wow, you have some really flat shoes!"

No shit...really? I had no idea! I blindly went into the store and just grabbed them, I swear....I had no idea what they looked like at all!