Babying Your Deadbeat Adult Children

[blas87]

This is getting so familiar it's scary.....except for the $400 for weed part, replace weed with antibiotics, Valium, and all kinds of prescription drugs ordered online without a doctor..........

My bf's mother isn't a witch by any means, it's just that his dad doesn't want to get involved in any way, because she has been a loose cannon with emotions since she started menopause.

Family drama, oh I love it.....

[kiwi]

yeah they arent my family yet blas, no WAY I would marry into that.... no fucking way

[Cat]

My brother will never be able to live on his own. He has a host of mental problems, not including the fact that he is just an idiot.

My parents are not "old" yet (what is old?) yet of course they are not immortal. When the pass, he will not be able to care for himself. He could have learned, but since the 'rents didn't want to do anything to teach him or deal with his issues, they let him do whatever he wanted, and babied him

In a way, its sad....I'm not sure if they have though about what will happen to him once they are gone, but hell I am helping him.

*sigh*

[Flyndaran]

Am I the only one that's reminded of the parable of the Grasshopper and the Ant?
Can the deadbeat at least play the fiddle?

[lupo pazzesco]

....and I thought my sister was bad...

Don't get me wrong, she's still the She-beast to me, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one with this kind of issue. Though, blas, kiwi, you've my utmost sympathies...that's just all kinds of levels of wrongness/fail. Lyme Disease? Suicide threats? >.< Ugh. People...

[blas87]

And last night, big old baby threw a fit that bf and I woke him up again when we went to clean up and get ready for bed....

Then today, he told his parents that he'd do SOME of the yardwork if bf shared the responsibility with him.......guess what ended up happening and who did it all?

Then bf decided it'd be a good time to start paying back his parents for all they've done for him while he's been struggling, he bought a nice dinner to share with them, and his brother flew off the handle because he didn't get any and called my bf "Impossible" and he needs to "learn a lesson"......

And to top it all off, he decided to go to bed super early, and started throwing a fit that bf was still up at 7 pm.....

[Flyndaran]

That's starting to sound less dickish and more mentally ill territory.
Is he really like Hellen Keller before the miracle worker reigned it in?

[blas87]

Don't be fooled, Flyn.

He has enough energy to get into a fistfight with my bf....I think he has enough energy to mow the lawn.

[BroomJockey]

I think he has enough energy to mow the lawn.

Flyn said "mentally" ill. Not physically ill. Energy wouldn't really have a place in that equation. I think by this point, a mental disorder or pathology could be a real consideration.

[blas87]

I'm terribly sorry, I figured with all the information I've provided, everyone would already guess he's got a few screws loose.

My personal thought is he's a hypochondriac......that's for definite sure.....the others, I can't really pinpoint and I'm not a doctor and don't care enough to research to try to figure out what's wrong with him.

[BroomJockey]

I'm terribly sorry, I figured with all the information I've provided, everyone would already guess he's got a few screws loose.

Well, there's a difference between "lazy and a few screws loose," and "actual treatable mental disorder." Honestly, until flyn mentioned it, I'd figured he was probably just a lazy grifting asshole.

[protege]

Well, there's a difference between "lazy and a few screws loose," and "actual treatable mental disorder."

Yep, big difference there. For example, my brother is a lazy piece of crap. There's no mental illness of any sort with him. He just refuses to do anything. Interesting comparison with yours truly...I've had to deal with mental issues most of my life. Yet, you don't see me sitting on my ass and watching TV or playing video games all day. I get up, go to work, put in a full 8 hour day, come home...maybe work on the model collection, do some work on the MG or possibly something on the computer, then go to sleep. Tomorrow, the cycle repeats itself. What can I say, other than I simply *can't* do that. I guess I *have* to be kept busy--the very *idea* of not having something to do...bothers me.

[Flyndaran]

Yep, big difference there. For example, my brother is a lazy piece of crap. There's no mental illness of any sort with him. He just refuses to do anything. Interesting comparison with yours truly...I've had to deal with mental issues most of my life. Yet, you don't see me sitting on my ass and watching TV or playing video games all day. I get up, go to work, put in a full 8 hour day, come home...maybe work on the model collection, do some work on the MG or possibly something on the computer, then go to sleep. Tomorrow, the cycle repeats itself. What can I say, other than I simply *can't* do that. I guess I *have* to be kept busy--the very *idea* of not having something to do...bothers me.

No need to tar us mentally ill people that can't work with the same brush as lazy jerks.

[Rapscallion]

No need to tar us mentally ill people that can't work with the same brush as lazy jerks.

Where did he do that?

Rapscallion

[Mytical]

Well, I guess I am starting to live on the other end of the spectrum...sort of. I've always kind of taken care of my parents. Dad is disabled from a work accident, and mom takes care of dad, so they never really have had much. My older brother was what you might call successful, he was a trucker who made quite a good deal of money. My sister was a manager who made about $20/hr. Not much, but compared to my measily 10/hr they both were much more successful then I.

They never once offered to help with my parents, however. Financially or otherwise. They needed help with yard work, or paying rent, or whatever..they called me. The 'dependable one'.

Recently with the Economic hardships, yeah they have moved back in with me. My mother got a job as well, and now we share expenses. I pay the lion share, because I make the most, but I look at it that they took care of me for a very long time..I can't really complain.

For years (15 in fact) Doctors have been trying hard to get me to go on Disability. I have Non-Alcoholic Straetohepititis, several back issues, chronic depression, and other problems. I told them to go stuff themselves, because I would rather work. Recently I have also been diagnosed with Diabetes. Life goes on, though. The memory issues can be fun with that, fun as in disturbing, but I will work until they put me six feet under regardless.

Yet, I know right now I do have it a little good. Yeah my meals are made for me, etc. Despite my constant "Guys, I am not an invalid, I can do all this." Guess they feel they have to be greatful I took them in, I won't ever understand that..like you can do anything else for family????

I will admit I can be a bit lazy (which probably helped me get Diabetes). When I get home from work I like to watch tv, play a little computer, or video games. So in a way I feel like the 'guy who sponges' off the parents. Because I don't feel I do ENOUGH for them. If I worked 10 jobs, did all the housework, chores, cooking, etc .. I would still not feel like I was doing enough for them.

My older brother is passed away, from cancer. My sister sometimes acts like she is too good for us. I have other brothers and sisters, but they live some distance away. But sometimes I get the feeling my sister thinks also that I am just some lazy bum.

Unless the memory issues go away when I get my diabetes under control, I may never get to the 'success' that some people have. I may only ever be 'working poor', doesn't mean I won't keep striving and trying. Fighting till I no longer can. I am happy, possitive, and motivated despite it all.