Babying Your Deadbeat Adult Children

[smileyeagle1021]

The guys being a jerk but have some sympathy. When you sleep all the time and never feel rested it makes your life extremely stressful.

Medical conditions don't excuse criminal behavior, which to my knowledge (I may be mistaken) ordering prescriptions from a foreign country without a prescription (ordering prescriptions from anywhere without a prescription) is illegal. Making false accusations against people for interfering with illegal activity is something to be despised, not sympathized with, no matter* what the other circumstances are.

I'm sorry, but it is the child's responsibility to take care of their parents, not the other way around. My mother spent 19 years of her life making sure I had food, clothing, and shelter. I owe her a debt, and when she needs help and I am able to help I do not begrudge helping her. Granted most of the time when I help her it is mutually beneficial. I'm helping her with her investment property by renting it out from her. She wins because she got an investment property for the cost of the down payment, I win because the mortgage payment is less than what rent would be on a comparable dwelling. Recently she needed to borrow money for medical bills and I allowed her to borrow out of my college fund (which my father grossly over funded). She is paying it back with 3% interest... we are both winning on this because the portion of the fund she borrowed out of was only making about 2% interest and the cheapest loan she could find would be 5% interest... I'm getting a 1% boost on interest earned and she is saving 2% on interest. People who can't find a way to help their parents just lack imagination or will.

*I will make the one exception of criminal activity related to desperation. Someone shoplifting food because they are quite literally starving to death I will give some sympathy to, not much because there are legit means of solving the problem, but at least there is plausible justification.

[protege]

Things at my mother's are definitely getting interesting...

I was over there either 'begging for food' or raiding my mother's fridge, and my brother said something he shouldn't have. I should mention that I have a "spare tire," that I'm currently working on losing. Most nights, I'm at the gym. Anyhoo, Mom and I were in the kitchen discussing what was going on for Mother's Day...when my brother comes in, grabs my stomach, and asked "Pro, when's the baby due?" At that point, I fucking lost it. I fired back with "You're 31, have no job, haven't worked full-time in 3 years, spend all day sitting on your ass and watching TV, and still live at home with Mommy. Do you *really* want to criticize someone?" Seriously? At least the look on his face meant that he'd just been kicked in the nuts...and had *no* comeback for that one.

[Greenday]

We were out Saturday night to celebrate my college graduation with my entire family. My dysfunctional cousin seemed to have gotten fed up with my three year old cousin walking on his side of the booth (One side of the tables was chairs, the other side was similar to booth seating). As my three year old cousin was walking behind him, my 22 year old cousin elbowed him to move him out of the way and not gently.

After being pressured by the rest of us, his mom confronted him about it and my cousin told her we are all crazy and making stuff up. He was forced into apologizing to my aunt of the three year old and he said, "I'm sorry you think I hit Cammy." You know, I used to pull that crap when I thought I was right...when I was 10. 22? Either apologize despite thinking you are right or don't apologize at all. None of that "I'm sorry you think..." crap. Besides, I saw it happen, two of my aunts saw it, my stepdad saw it, my grandmother saw it, and my sister saw it. That's six people who all saw it happen. Who are you trying to bullshit?

[KellyHabersham]

This thread totally reminds me of a male cousin on my dad's side of the family -without going into all the details, "Ernie" is in his mid-40's, still lives with his mother, and mooches off of her because he's unable/unwilling to hold down a steady job. And unfortunately, my aunt does NOT seem to recognize that she's brought this situation upon herself........"Ernie" has always been catered to/spoiled, and had excuses made for him instead of him having to take responsibility for things.

[blas87]

I'm probably jinxing everything by typing this update, but meh...

Bf's brother seems to be acting a little more "normal" lately.....he even went out to the movies last weekend and met up with us, and he was even watching a movie with us at their house the next night, instead of barricading himself in his room and kicking and screaming about how noisy everyone is being.