"No you don't."

[Pedersen]

My wife has NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER liked read meat.

augh! She doesn't like meat that was read to as a child? Or did you mean she doesn't like "red" (you know, the color, not the verb!) meat?

/me grumbles as he walks and ponders changing his title to "the spelling nazi"

[blas87]

Stop it Pedersen. I just had an awful flasback to high school, where in the school newspaper, I accidentally wrote "Ends meat" instead of "Ends meet".....and the teacher gave me shit for it all damn year.

[BroomJockey]

"Ends meat"

Gay porn or vegan agenda?

[XCashier]

"Oh man. I better get going. I have a paper due in a few days and I need to get a head start on it."

"No you don't."

"Um. Yes I do."

"No you don't."

I think I'd be tempted to answer with, "Are you saying I'm a liar? Or too stupid to know what I need to do?" and a cold stare.

Here's another one: no matter what you say, the other party responds with, "Oh it is, huh?" or "Oh you are, huh?" or some similar variant. You give them the look and they're sitting there with a shit-eating grin as though they're giving Bill Cosby and George Carlin a run for their money in the humor department.

It's not even remotely funny; it doesn't even make any sense. I don't get it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, that's usually me. I just sit there with the look, and say something devastatingly witty like "uh....okay...?" and then sort of shuffle off.

I mean, geeze, to me it's just sort of a surreal conversation I have no idea how to proceed with. Not unlike my four year old daughter has with me sometimes. But she's four, she has an excuse.

[BroomJockey]

I mean, geeze, to me it's just sort of a surreal conversation I have no idea how to proceed with.

Tuna monkey horse-radish.

[Pedersen]

Stop it Pedersen. I just had an awful flasback to high school, where in the school newspaper, I accidentally wrote "Ends meat" instead of "Ends meet".....and the teacher gave me shit for it all damn year.

Be grateful that I stopped myself with just that today. The spelling on this forum has gone downhill lately, and it's starting to get to me. I know it's just an internet forum, I really do. But some of what's been passing as posting lately has been just plain awful.

I have to stop every few sentences and ask "Wait, that word doesn't fit there, what was that person actually trying to say?"

That gets more than slightly annoying.

[kiwi]

I have to stop every few sentences and ask "Wait, that word doesn't fit there, what was that person actually trying to say?"

wat eva d u mena Pdeerseny!! lolomgusoold!

[Pedersen]

wat eva d u mena Pdeerseny!! lolomgusoold!

How sad is it that this sentence was still more legible than one poster over on CS? I had an easier time following you than her (which is probably why I never bother to read her posts).

[protege]

wat eva d u mena Pdeerseny!!

Is it just me, or when the "what eva" shows up, does anyone else think of Cartman (South Park) when he was on the Maury Povich show? "What eva, what eva...I do what I want!"

[McDreidel09]

Oh no. I got that protege. I actually said it aloud when I read it,then read your post.

[EricKei]

I've never really liked "Yo Mama" jokes >_> But it's probably just me. I'm really protective of her. Many years ago, a friend was messing around -- he got about halfway thru giving me a YM joke and just stopped cold. Apparently, I had reflexively shot him an intense stinkeye without even realizing it o_O He had the courtesy to stop doing them after that.

[Parrothead]

I would like to add "that's what she said" to this.

[gremcint]

Just start saying"that what's she said" to things that make no sense for it, it actually becomes funny.

"I need to finish my paper"
"That's what she said"

The confused look will be much funnier than it ever could have been.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"Thats what she said " is only funny if the person saying it is in on the joke.

Sadly, I have met peopel who weren't. Then it's not funny. It's just embarassing.

Rule of thumb: if you don't know any Michael Scotts, you ARE a Michael Scott.