My brother-in-law & his wife aka the Pots

[IDrinkaRum]

This is about my BIL#2 on Mr. Rum's side. (For the record - Mr. Rum is the oldest of 3 brothers, BIL#1 is middle bro & BIL#2 is youngest bro).

Mr. Rum came home the other day being grumpy about something. He had been on the phone to BIL#2 (his wife was making comments in the background), and they brought up us not going to the MIL & FIL's house for Thanksgiving.

Mr. Rum directed me to this link about how Autistic Children & holidays just don't mix - but won't send the link to his brother

FTR, I have talked to other parents of Autistic Children (during the summer when Child Rum was attending speech camp) and they agree with this assessment.

So because of this, we are not going to be going down for Thanksgiving with everyone else. And for Christmas, we're going to be going down like the weekend before, leaving our presents for everyone else there for when they get to the In-Laws's house on Christmas.

However, according to BIL#2 and his wife, we're bad people because we haven't been to the in-laws's house for a holiday in a year.

My question to them: When have they gone to the in-laws's house when there wasn't a holiday? (for example: FIL's birthday or MIL's birthday?)

And come to find out: BIL#2 and his wife are NOT. GOING. TO. THE. IN-LAWS. ON. THANKSGIVING. They are going to BIL#2's wife's family's house!!!

RAWR

[RootedPhoenix]

And come to find out: BIL#2 and his wife are NOT. GOING. TO. THE. IN-LAWS. ON. THANKSGIVING. They are going to BIL#2's wife's family's house!!!

So they want to guilt you into going, but they're not going themselves?

*headscratch* Wow. How lame.

[IDrinkaRum]

Trust me, when I found that out, I started throwing the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. I was that mad. GRRRRRR ...

I just ... there were just no words to describe how angry I was.

[jackfaire]

In laws suck. Mine tried to tell me that I HAD to have their approval on any possible names for my daughter.

[MaggieTheCat]

Threads like these make me glad that my husband and I live about a 10 hour drive away from his parents, and about a 2 1/2 day drive away from my parents. Unless they want to fork over the cash for two plane tickets around the holidays (upwards of $1500-$2000 to go see my parents, since they live in a very rural area with a tiny airport and refuse to drive to pick us up from a bigger airport) then we have a ready-made excuse not to visit if we don't want to.

Sorry your in-laws are being such a pain, Rum. I hope your quiet Thanksgiving is enjoyable without them!

[tropicsgoddess]

So they're harping on you guys not going to MIL&FIL's house for Thanksgiving when they aren't going themselves?! WTF kind of crap is that?!! Families and holidays are a drag in so many ways. Since SO, SO's Mom and my mom aren't too fond of each other, I'm the one that's gonna get doled out copious amounts of guilt trips regardless if I spend it with SO and his mom or with my family from either side. You could never win.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Fuck 'em. Who cares what they think?

I imagine you like Child Rum more than you like them, and you are catering to her needs, not theirs. Sounds perfetly reasonable.

And what is with the husband not sending the link on to them, but sending it to you? You already know, it's BIL that needs to know.

Well, he doesn't NEED to know, but you know what I mean.

Tell them you aren't going because they suck.

[IDrinkaRum]

Thanks for the support everyone!

RK - I would so love to tell them all that they suck and that's why we're going down to the MIL & FIL's house! But I don't think Mr. Rum would be too happy.

We're actually having a blast in our house, on our own, doing what we want to. (We all took a nap starting at 11 AM and woke up at 1:30 PM). We can set our own eating schedule and we can eat whatever we want (and not have to take a little dab of everything so we don't hut someone's feelings ).

And even better - Child Rum doesn't get ignored by everyone but me!

Though if we were at the In-Laws's house, Child Rum wouldn't have tried to "make a cake" and spill half the milk, put an egg and a half a stick of butter in one of my colanders and stick that colendar in my - thankfully - not turned on oven. *le sigh* I'm really really really thankful to have a child like my daughter - I really am.

[Fryk]

Did you pretend to eat it?

[IDrinkaRum]

No ... she got more "cake" on the floor than anywhere else so we cleaned up. And I did a lot of sighing. At Mr. Rum because he was angry.

Ah well, since we've gotten up from our pre-dinner nap, we're doing much better.

It's a good thing we didn't go down to the In-Laws. For the past 2 nights, between 2 and 5:30 AM, I've been up and just lying in bed trying not to wake anyone up. And it's not like I'm going to bed early. So I have no clue what is happening. *shrugs*

Well, I hope everyone has a great a Thanksgiving as we are having - it's so relaxing. And I'm having a good time hanging out with my daughter. (Mr. Rum's in another room watching the Turkey Day Football Game -- with my blessing )

[IDrinkaRum]

We went down to the In-Law's house on Saturday.

We stayed a few hours (from like 2 until 6:30). I wasn't about to spend the night.

MIL & I got into an argument about "having to" move to Maryland because Mr. Rum's office is being moved to Fort Meade, Maryland. Neither of us want to move.

I've put my foot down. I'll live in the more northern part of Virginia (more northern than Prince William County), but otherwise, he moves, I stay and divorce lawyers will be needed.

Then we got into about Mr. Rum's weight and mine (though I've lost 4.4 pounds ).

*le sigh*

I'm not doing this again next month, I'm really not.