Visiting my family

[DrFaroohk]

So it's time to go visit at my dad's house for thanksgiving dinner.

I hate visiting my family.

They're all good people, mind you. And pretty cool, most of the time. And the food will be awesome.

Except they also can be the most extremely judgemental and critical people I know. And you never know who you're gonna get. For instance, when they hear I've been 6 days without a cigarette, they might say "Hey that's awesome, congratulations."

Or they might say "Well it's about fucking time. God I can't believe you were stupid enough to smoke in the first place. Talk about a waste of money! You know better than that."

Or when they hear about my temporary seasonal job making wreaths. They might say "Hey, that's cool. It's good, honest labor, and it's a start in the right direction towards finding permanent employment, and it sounds like you're getting really good at it."

Or they might all gang up on me and say "Hey boy, you can't be fucking around with jobs like that anymore! You've got a family. It's time to man up and start taking like seriously, for once! Get a real job!"

And of course, if I were to actually defend myself, I get the "You've got attitude problems, boy. I can't believe we invited you into our home offered you dinner and this is how you thank us!? You come in here with this hostile attitude and just start yelling at everyone!? What's up with that?"

This isn't all the time, in fact it's not even the majority of the time. But it happens enough that I feel like I can't share any part of my life with my family. I'm constantly being evasive, bending the truth or outright lying to them to avoid this. So I'm always really uncomfortable around them. The entire time I'm there it's like I'm at a job interview.

[MaggieTheCat]

Wow, sounds like my family. My sympathies. I basically do the same thing, though -- I've learned what NOT to tell my parents that will set them off. My mom "trained" me to be very open and honest about everything and tell her everything and then she'd have a field day picking stuff apart. So now I just don't tell her stuff. It helps that I live like 1600 miles away from them so if I don't want to talk to her, I just turn my phone off.

I hope your family behaves and you have an enjoyable Thanksgiving.

[kiwi]

This is why I avoid family dinners together at all costs, and when I agree to go I usually insist on a resturant because then no one can yell at each other.

My brother and mum argue non-stop about anything and everything. They both get each other rarked up and then ask me to decide who is right... no thanks im concentrating on not shoving a fork into my eye right now.

The BF's family gathering are no better, if his mother isnt inventing stories out of total thin air (usually involving me doing something horrendous that never actually happened) she is commenting on my drinking or my housework or some other lecture. Then she will start interrigating the BF about his life and he will in turn glaze over and ignore that shes speaking, which will make her cry and I will be blamed because we are not married and she has NO grandchildren and WHY can we just be HAPPY FOR GODS SAKE THATS ALL SHE WANTS, SHE MIGHT DIE SOON!!!! The BF's dad will sit there cowering like a little mouse and stuff his face because then he has an excuse not to answer and will barely life his eyes away from the TV and the other relatives sit in silence and stare at the floor.

And thats why I drink like a fish when I am around family, they all think Im a lush but I barely touch the stuff when I don't have to be around them.

[jackfaire]

Everyone in my family is trying to scam money from everyone else in the family.

My sister is a manipulative person and likes to feel like she is the one that "rules the family"

My little brother is perpetually angry at my mom and everyone else.

My older brother is trying to convince us that we all need to be prepared for when our solar system passes into an energy field and we are all converted from mass to energy beings.

My mom is giving me crap about the 4000 I still owe her out of the original 10,000 and bitching about how poor she is and how she needs me to pay her back since I have a job and she doesn't. This of course is her disregarding the fact that thanks to my dad's years of working and the state decided she can't work she makes more money on disability (400 more a month) than I make working my full time job.

Everyone else in the family is either avoiding my family's special brand of crazy or passed.

I have avoided having dinner with all of my family for the last 3 years.

[Fryk]

My older brother is trying to convince us that we all need to be prepared for when our solar system passes into an energy field and we are all converted from mass to energy beings.

Any links for this? I could use a good laugh.

Due to my Brothers-in-law's work schedules, we had our thanksgiving dinner yesterday. Thankfully, my wife's Uncle and his family didn't show up. We would have just left right then and there. I never understood the line of thought that you have to put of with crap from family that you wouldn't put up with from other people because, they're FAMILY.
Who the hall cares? People are people. I have no problems avoiding toxic people in my life, related to me or not.

[jackfaire]

Fryk sorry I don't I am not sure where he got it from. Honestly as funny as the idea is the whole thing makes me sad. I worshiped my big brother when we were kids. It feels like the brother I knew died years ago and all I have now is just not the same person.

[HYHYBT]

Thank you for reminding me how great it is to have a family that gets along so well.