Double standards

[Ree]

People get irate and downright militant about the right to live their lives as they see fit, and to worship, love, and behave according to their own plan.

Then, the minute somebody does something completely out of the "norm", such as having more than 2.5 kids, these same people are all over it like flies on manure, passing judgment on why this person needs to smarten up, and questioning their intelligence, morals, and social responsibility.

The person becomes the butt of jokes and funny little posters claiming the vagina is not a clown car.

So, don't mock me if I choose to dress a certain way, pierce or tattoo my body as I wish, sleep with whom I wish, or worship the god or idols of my choice.
However, if I choose to use my reproductive organs as they were intended and bring children into this world, go ahead and have a field day with me.
I deserve it.

It's open season.
It's your right to question and mock me.

I don't get it.

[jackfaire]

Personally I believe everyone has the right to live their life as they see fit. They do not have the right to harm others.

I will not judge someone if they think a behavior, belief, or idea is the most evil thing in the world but if they take that thought and turn it into a beat down on someone. Then I judge.

[Peppergirl]

No judgement here, Ree.

If someone wants to have 82 kids, I might secretly think they're crazy - but as long as *they* are providing for them and not the goverment, then live-and-let live.

Now, I wont lie - I might make a crack and laugh about the 'clown car' remark, but I wouldn't ridicule them in any serious way.

[guywithashovel]

A lot of these "celebrate diversity" people have actually done a complete 360 and are now doing the exact opposite of what they say they are against. They complain about people chastising others for being gay, having a tattoo, wearing their hair a certain way, following a non-Abrahamic religion, not taking their husband's name when they get married, choosing not to have children, etc., and rightfully so. However, many of them go the other way around and actually start chastising and mocking people who take their husband's name, have children, or do things that are mainstream.

Honestly, I think many of these people have gotten to the point where they just want to buck every single tradition and norm just for the sheer sake of it.

[Ree]

Having a whole lot of children is certainly odd in this society, I know, and it's natural that people will be concerned about the quality of life in a large family like that, or even comment on it.

What I don't understand is how entire blogs and message board threads end up with the woman being raked over the coals as if she has committed the most heinous act on earth for giving birth so many times.

I just find it funny that the same people who so vehemently proclaim their right to live as they see fit can be some of the most vocal in condemning these large families.

[Slytovhand]

I'm quite arrogant, and I also look at a different picture than other people.

I'm not sure of the specific example you're talking about, Ree, but I can get an idea of why people may choose to comment on a large family being not a good idea... we have threads on the subject..

[Ree]

we have threads on the subject..

Yes, I know.

That's why I started this thread.

[DesignFox]

I say live and let live. But I also have every right to think you're a weirdo for doing what you do...as you have the same right to think I'm a weirdo for doing what I do.

I have no problem with people making jokes about one another...I have no problem with people having opinions about one another. I DO have a problem with people harming one another.

[Fryk]

I look at it this way. All those people who are not the norm, including Clawn Car Vag Woman, Are perfectly free to do whatever they want without my interference. I am also free to express my opinion that what they are doing is stupid and problematic. I don't see how stating my opinion hampers their life in any real way. Now, if I tried to call CPS on CCVW, THAT would be hindering her, and in most cases it would be unwarranted. But just poking fun at someone's silly behavior in a non-threatening way? Until my word becomes "Ape Law", it won't amount to shit. But it DOES make me giggle.
Hell, I catch flak all the time from people because I'm weird and I collect children's toys. But none of the flak has stopped me from doing what I want to do.

[HYHYBT]

There is this difference: tattoos, etc only directly affect the person getting them, while of course having children affects the children you have. If x has a couple dozen children because she loves kids and will raise them well, that's wonderful. Really. It makes up for people who, like me, have neither the inclination nor the patience to be a good parent and therefore don't have any.

I didn't read the article that started that other thread, but it gave some people the impression, at least, that she was having an unusually large family, not because she could and wanted to raise them, but simply because she hadn't gotten twins yet, and that beyond that she didn't care about them. That may not be true; certainly I hope it isn't, but it's not that far a far jump from what was presented. And deliberately conceiving babies for the wrong reason is, well, wrong. I don't see where there's enough to judge her (especially if the best people can come up with is that some of them have odd names) but *if* she's solely after twins and cares nothing for the others, or isn't mentally, physically, or financially capable of handling so many, it's not that different than the 14-year-old who has a baby because she wants the baby to love her, or because she thinks it will keep her boyfriend from leaving.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I look at it this way. All those people who are not the norm, including Clawn Car Vag Woman, Are perfectly free to do whatever they want without my interference. I am also free to express my opinion that what they are doing is stupid and problematic. I don't see how stating my opinion hampers their life in any real way. Now, if I tried to call CPS on CCVW, THAT would be hindering her, and in most cases it would be unwarranted. But just poking fun at someone's silly behavior in a non-threatening way? Until my word becomes "Ape Law", it won't amount to shit. But it DOES make me giggle.

Agreed. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, as long as they don't try and interfere with a person's life. Like constantly bombarding Social Services with endless anon complaints about the 12 kid family next door, or sending the parents poison pen letters, or even smashing their windows and spraying graffitti everywhere. That is a cause for concern, not merely saying, "I don't approve of large families".

[Jack T. Chance]

I absolutely HATE people that practice double standards, otherwise known as HYPOCRITES! And the absolute worst is when you find yourself involved in a romantic relationship with just such a person. It... drives... me... INSANE!!!

Seriously, people... I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't fit my head that far up my own ASS!

[Plaidman]

I belive people should live how they wish, as long as it doesn't affect others in a negative fashion. I belive in equality.

Likely why the lack of a girlfriend just litarly drives me nuts and crazy and full of rage that I have no idea why. Stupid thing to want. But everyone else who wants one, just usually can get it. Normally without trying. Hell I've seen people who puke on the ground and over a girl, and said girl is dating the guy the next day.

I do draw the line of Octolady. She took drugs to have that many kids, so that she didn't have to work. She wanted to mooch of her kids. That is NOT love. That is sadistic and cruel. There are several familes out there, that are huge families, and they all work together and love each other, take care of each other, and don't need to mooch of others or shout out hey, we have kids! GIMME MONEY !!!

Then again, I do tend to lose my temper more now over thieves and murderers and scum that just take advanage of others and have no remorse, and no punishment. Seriously. I want to do something for that. I can't even walk a half a block now without pain. It fucking sucks.

I hate this stupidity of everything in life. Seriously. I'm not suicidal. But what's the point? All I see in my future, is just an intenst pain that won't go away, and bills to pay.

Thankfully I do have this place. I did make alot of friends at CS.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I can't remember who said it, but someone in the Octomom thread (I think) said that while the Duggars were also a large family, at least they were paying their way and not existing on government handouts.

The 2.4 kids brigade would have called my family large; I have three brothers. However, both my parents worked; my mum from home as a childminder so that she could spend time with us, and we were all raised right. A lot different from a family who live off the state, let their kids roam around causing trouble, and who see getting a job as being "wussy".

[Ree]

I look at it this way. All those people who are not the norm, including Clawn Car Vag Woman, Are perfectly free to do whatever they want without my interference. I am also free to express my opinion that what they are doing is stupid and problematic. I don't see how stating my opinion hampers their life in any real way.

Aha! But here is where we have the double standard and the reason for my starting this thread.

I do not agree with abortion.
Unfortunately, if I state my opinion, or judge someone because they have had an abortion, I am ridiculed for it and told that a woman's body is her own to do with as she sees fit, and nobody has a right to tell her what to do or to control her reproductive organs.

In the case of the women who have multiple babies, though, it's perfectly acceptable to question and judge, and even mock them for that choice.

It's as if the right to control one's reproductive organs and body is only valid as long as it's done to prevent children from coming into the world.