Let's Make It Sound Nicer...

[blas87]

I think replacing "Fail" was way over the top, but here's a few more mild examples that drive me nuts.

Toilet paper....it's always referred to as "bath tissue"....I don't think anyone in the bathtub uses tissue, it would dissolve instantly and make a huge mess! Sure, we can't just outright call it "Asswipe" on the package, but do we have to make it sound so nice?

And then there's "breaking wind" instead of farting. Or fluffing, or fluff a bunny. You can't really break wind.....and even tooting is just too nice....for the love of God, I farted. Ok?

[jackfaire]

No longer with us.

Passed away.

Smiling from above.

Etc.

These did not comfort me they just made me want to punch you.

[Fryk]

How about

Ceased to be?
Is no more?
Expired and gone to meet his maker?
is a stiff?
Bereft of life, he rests in peace?
his metabolic processes are now history?
He's off the twig?
Kicked the bucket?
Shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin choir invisible?

[Rapscallion]

"Sex toys". Well, at least if a woman's buying it, it's a 'toy'. If a man's buying something of similar nature, he's a pervert. Never understood that.

Rapscallion

[Nyoibo]

The one that gets me, the porn section in newsagents "Men's Interest"

[Boozy]

The one that gets me, the porn section in newsagents "Men's Interest"

That's the first I heard of that one.

The worst part? In an attempt not to offend someone by using the word "Porn", they've actually come up with something far more offensive. It's sexist to imply that skin mags are only be interesting to men, and/or all men find them interesting.

It would be like putting the car magazines in "Men's Interest" section. It wouldn't take long for someone to complain about that.

[lordlundar]

Toilet paper....it's always referred to as "bath tissue"....I don't think anyone in the bathtub uses tissue, it would dissolve instantly and make a huge mess! Sure, we can't just outright call it "Asswipe" on the package, but do we have to make it sound so nice?

You do know that the original name for it was "sanitary napkins", right?

[protege]

Thought I'd throw this in there as well...

What about the BMW commercials that go on about the virtues of "Pre-Owned" cars? Since then, just about every dealer has adopted that phrase, and gets a bit annoyed if you refer to such vehicles as "used"

I understand why they do it, to get away from the negative connotation that "used cars" have in most people's minds. However, to me, it doesn't do that...but sounds a bit snooty

[Fryk]

But like I said about "failure", the problem is that the phrase "pre-owned" will soon have all the connotations of "used", which will start the whole cycle over again.

[jackfaire]

Actually a car manufacturer that I worked for Pre Owned actually meant something. Used meant someone sold the car to the dealer and now your buying it from the dealer.

Preowned means the car is within warranty and for whatever reason no longer with it's current owner and go through a 100 point inspection any problems found must be fixed anything to severe and it did not qualify as pre owned.

[blas87]

Actually, I believe menstrual pads are "sanitary napkins".

[Fryk]

Shouldn't all napkins be sanitery? Who would wipe their mouth with an unsanitry napkin. Or, you know, other stuff.

[lordlundar]

Actually, I believe menstrual pads are "sanitary napkins".

More recently yes, but it was originally held by toilet paper. Another piece of fun news is that toilet paper or "sanitary napkins" were meant to be used as menstrual pads. As time went on, more advanced pads were developed and took the name with them. The original ones took on the name toilet paper.

[fireheart17]

The one that gets me, the porn section in newsagents "Men's Interest"

The newsagent near home labels them "adult" magazines rather than men's interest.

What makes it really funny however, is two things:

1) The company I work for sells the magazines too, right in front of the impulse racks so kiddies can play with them, yet it keeps the K-zone and the Total Girl magazines higher up out of the way....(both are magazines for the tween market)

2) The company my SISTER works for on the other hand, does not sell condoms, but they still sell Ralph, Zoo etc.

[Slytovhand]

$9.99

You're not fooling anyone by saying it's $10, but you save a whopping 1cent!!!