Ok look I get it...

[Kimmik]

Ok look I get that my pregnancy is going well this time... I have 18 days left untill the C-Section, but for fucks sake I think I am going to kill some people.

If I hear "oh you don't have to worry she will be fine. You're just being paranoid." One more freaking time I am just going to flipping deck the brainless fucktwit.

That ranks up there with..
1 It can't hurt that bad...
2 oh you're not disabled why are you using a chair...
3 Oh you don't need depression medicine you should be happy your about to have a baby...
4 How can you say it has been the worst year of your life your baby will be here soon.....

arrrrrrgh

1 I have a condition that my hips naturally pop out of socket... add in that the ligaments loosen up during pregnancy equals I am in almost constant pain if I am up walking. Walking the 10 feet to the bathroom can make me cry some days.

2 One yes I am disabled, but please see 1. It feels something like a non limber guy did the splits on ice and then someone kicked him in the nuts with spiked steel toe boots. You try walking through a large flipping store feeling like you were used for a god damn wish bone.

3. Yes I do need the medicine... trust me it is. It is so I dont lay in bed like a flipping lump and I dont kill morons.

4. Yes it has been the worst year of my life... I lost my son.. we had to watch him die... knowing that we couldnt do jack shit... and while I am happy that we are haveing another baby it is not a fucking replacement.. and the 31 about a week after she arrives would have been her brothers first bday.

So every year I am going to be thankful she is here and try not to let my depression ruin her season. then on the 18th of Jan I will always remember I am the one that told the doc to pull the plug on my son. And I held him as he tried to breath and died in my arms... the only time I got to hold my son was as he died... So yes this year has been the worst in my life. Not to mention that I almost bled to death while trying to deal with my son.

Why do people think that because something good is happening it erases all the bad. Or that just because they dont need medicine you should be able to get over it... arrrrrrrrg why are people such fucktards.... And so help me if another person tells me god needed another angel.. I am going to be going to jail... my god is not a sadistic fucker that would take my child to make an angel when he could blink and have a bajillion.

Sorry I had to get this out... I just dont understand... really... what the hell is wrong with people... If you do not know what to say.. then just say I am sorry... but don't spout cliches and stupid shit.. I dont mind advice on how others work with their depression... but dont tell me I am stupid for taking meds...

[LewisLegion]

You are not stupid, this is a very frightening time for you and your feelings are totally legitamate. Screw them if they don't understand that.

You hang in there sweetie. My prayers are with you.

[MaggieTheCat]

Hey Kimmik, I've been thinking about you lately and was wondering how you were doing. I knew your due date was coming up soon. I'm so sorry those people are being such insensitive morons to you. Just remember we're all here for you! Hang in there!

[blas87]

You have every right to feel a little worried. And since obviously the people preaching at you aren't you and in your shoes, they have no right to tell you how you should feel.

Hang in there. We are on your side and excited for you!

[guywithashovel]

My sister and her husband lost their baby son on April 27 of this year (2009). They induced labor on her that morning, but by late afternoon they had to do an emergency C section because he was stuck in the birth canal. They probably should have done it earlier than that because he got flipped over in the birth canal several hours before, but the doctor wasn't there to authorize the C section. Long story short, he ended up being a stillborn.

My sister is pregnant again, and her baby is due in May 2010. She's going through a lot of the things you're going through, I'm sure. This time, though, they're using a different hospital, and on the day the baby is to be born, she will go straight in for a C section---no labor at all.

Also, my sister got the "God needed an angel" line when she lost her baby. I honestly don't understand why people say that. If God wants another angel, he can just create another one instead of murdering the child of a young couple that really wants to be parents so he can turn that child into an angel.

[Fryk]

Gah. Has that "God needed an angel" bullshit, or "God has a plan..." crap ever been helpful to anyone? And by anyone, I mean the people that it's actually being said to, not the ones saying it.

[Kimmik]

My sister and her husband lost their baby son on April 27 of this year (2009).

Please give your sister a hug for me and my condolences. I finally had a shower last month because I was afraid that if I did something would go wrong..

I am scared shitless because last time with the emergency c-section everything that could go wrong did go wrong... that is another phrase that makes me see red right now... the Oh you will be fine dont be a ninny.... omg arrrrrrrg

Last time I started to become un-numb right after they took Shayne out... nothing like turning the people in the OR white with the phrase.. I dont know what you are doing but that doesn't feel right. I have never had so many things slammed into my IV before. And because they rushed hoping I would either a. pass out or b. they would finish before anymore wore off, they missed a small vain or vessel and i almost bled to death. Yeah I am being a Ninny this time cause the thought of the c-section makes me almost pass out.

either try and be understanding or just shut the fuck up... Yeah everything went fine last time untill something went massively wrong... *facepalm*

[RootedPhoenix]

Kimmik (and anyone else), if anyone spouted the same crap at me...(or at anyone) while I was near I'd...I don't EVEN know.

What in the EVERLOVING CRAP do these people smoke? Whatever it is, they must smoke it all DAY to scramble their brains that bad to spout such nonsense. Maybe they open their heads and stir a couple of times.

*sigh* *offers lots of hugs* I pray your little one enters this life safely and without complications.

Know that we care, at least.

My sympathies go out to anyone that loses a child.

[Kimmik]

Maybe they open their heads and stir a couple of times.

Thanks Hun... Out of curiosity are you German? I ask because of the phrase I quoted.

But at least we have the cell phones back on.. so I can sleep again without freaking about what if in the middle of the night.

As the days grow shorter I am finding myself crying then laughing... I wonder if it is always going to be this way. Am I always going to lose it in December and January... Thanks for all your support guys... I am sorry I rant... heck I come back to this thread and smile when I am at wits end.

If anyone would like to see the few pics we have of Shayne I will post the flickr link... warning though they are heart wrenching... I can't look at them to often or I lose it.

Thanks again...

[guywithashovel]

Please give your sister a hug for me and my condolences. I finally had a shower last month because I was afraid that if I did something would go wrong..

I'll do that.

It was definitely a hard thing for everyone to go through. It also caught us all by surprise. We all went to the hospital that morning thinking we'd have a new baby in the family by the end of the day. However, when we left the hospital, we were planning a funeral.

She and her husband are walking on eggshells with this new pregnancy. We're all reasonably certain that everything is going to go okay. The doctors are watching her closely this time, and when the time comes to have the baby, she will go straight in for a c-section. Still, that nagging fear is there.

Sad thing is, my sister and her husband really want to be parents. They really want to raise a family. In fact, I think they both would like to have a large family---like three or more kids.

[DesignFox]

Kimmick, you are in my thoughts as well. I can't believe how insensitive people are being!

I'd be seeing red and ready to hurt someone, too.

There are plenty of hugs to go around here if you ever need them. *hugs* I am wishing all the best for you and your family. I honestly can't even imagine what you have been through and my heart goes out to you.

[Fryk]

Why does it always seem like the ones who would make the best parents have the most trouble conceiving?

[RootedPhoenix]

Thanks Hun... Out of curiosity are you German? I ask because of the phrase I quoted.

No, I'm an American..if a bit goofy . It was just the mental image I had of such a person. Is it a common phrase in Germany?

Why does it always seem like the ones who would make the best parents have the most trouble conceiving?

That's a question I wish I knew the answer to myself.

[XCashier]

If you do not know what to say.. then just say I am sorry... but don't spout cliches and stupid shit.

Exactly. Some folks need to make sure their brain is in gear before opening their mouths.

I pray your little one enters this life safely and without complications.

Same here.

[Kimmik]

Rooted There is a phrase in german when translated to english means "did someone shit in your brain and forget to stir it?"

Fryk... I have been asking myself that for a long time. Especially when I read about parents killing there kids, abuseing them and the like... It would always make me want to hurl something at the tv... grrrrr I think there should be a test for parents.... I belive everyone has the right to have children... but they also need to be able to care for them.. You dont need alot of money to have kids... i grew up poor... but I grew up loved for the most part and active parents.